Another Monkey

Against the Dying of the Light

2012-01-29T01:56:00.003-05:00

Here are the images from my Pecha Kucha presentation, "Against the Dying of the Light: Stained Glass Windows and the Passing of an Old World." The text is what I plotted out ahead of time, but is not exactly what I said, though I tried to touch on the major points in the twenty seconds allowed for each slide.

I live in Nanticoke, about 25 miles southwest of Scranton. It's a small city that was once a coal mining town settled by immigrants, many (but not all) of them Polish. It's a city full of churches, many (but not all) of them Roman Catholic. (The church in the foreground is – was – St. Nicholas Ukrainian Catholic Church, and had been closed for several years when I took this picture in 2008.)

St. Francis Church was one of the older parishes with one of the newer structures. Unfortunately, a leaking roof resulted in structural damage which, according to independent estimates, could have been repaired for a fraction of the amount quoted by the Diocese of Scranton. But at the time the damage was discovered, parish consolidation plans were already in the works. And so the order came down from the bishop's office: the parish was to consolidate with nearby St. Joseph's, and the church would be closed and demolished.

The heartbreaking thought of a place that had been a religious, cultural, and social landmark for so many people in Nanticoke being condemned to demolition threw the coming diocese-wide parish consolidation plans into a stark light. How many more beloved places would be closed, shuttered, and eventually reduced to rubble?

My home parish is St. Mary's, formally known as Our Lady of Czestachowa. It's a small and humble church, set atop the highest point in the city. The structure has stood since the first years of the twentieth century, and generations have been baptized, married, and mourned within its walls. I served as an altar boy there from first grade through high school. From my earliest days I was fascinated with the stained glass windows of the church. If this building were to close, the sight of those windows would be gone forever. Could anyone do anything to preserve them?

I had thought about this for a while when one Saturday I found myself sitting in a pew in the church, waiting for my cousin to arrive for her wedding. I thought, what heck, why not? Why wait for someone else to professionally photograph these windows, when I can get started on it right now? And so I snapped this first image of the portraits of St. Francis of Sales and St. James with the mid-day October sun shining through the window.

I soon found more opportunities to gather photos, before Mass, after Mass, and once when the church was left open for people to come and offer prayers regarding the coming consolidation. When I arrived that day, camera and tripod in hand, I discovered that I had the church to myself. After saying a few prayers, I decided to do my praying with a camera, and set about the task of photographing the windows in the empty church, lit by the early-afternoon sun.

White sunlight strikes the windows from the outside and is filtered by the colored and painted glass, painting the interior of the church in the colors of the windows. These windows are over a century old and have stood the test of time, though paint has flaked off in places, grime has built up in others, and in at least one case a well-placed shot from a BB gun has resulted in a hole in one of the uppermost reaches of the windows, a hole that has been patched for decades.

The windows are pieces of history, and testaments to the history of the parish. Each one was financed and donated by a specific individual or group. All of the Ladies of the Rosary who collected funds to pay for their window are long since deceased; and even the children of St. Mary's who collected pennies and nickels and dimes to finance their window have grown old, died, and been buried for decades.

Each window is unique. Each piece of glass is different, an inhomogeneous blend of colors and opacities. These striations exist in three dimensions, not just two, so what you see depends entirely on the path that light takes from its source to the observer. Each window will look different depending on the time of day, the day of the year, the weather outside, the lighting inside, and the angle at which the viewer is looking at the window.

And so the windows have become part of the churchgoing experience. Seeing the windows at sunrise is completely different from seeing them at sunset, and both are completely different from seeing them at night, when no light is coming from the outside and they are lit entirely by reflected light. Yet all those experiences, all that beauty, all the uniqueness yet to be experiences could be snuffed out with a decision from the diocese.

This is the first pair of portrait windows as you enter the church. The figures are each about five feet tall. At the bottom of each window are the donor plaques. (This pair was presented by the architects who designed the church.) Above that is a uniquely-colored panel that opens for ventilation. Above that, more decorations, then identifiers for the subjects in the windows, then the portrait windows themselves, then more vents (accessed by chains), a pair of decorative arches, and finally a small round window.

Looking more closely at the figures, we see St. Leo, formerly known as Pope Leo I, a fifth-century pope who holds a three-barred crosier actually dates from the Middle Ages - as does the plate armor worn by his neighbor, St. George, who was a figure from the third century. Most of what is “known” about St. George is legendary and likely apocryphal, including the story of his battle with a dragon – which apparently has escaped into St. Leo's portrait and is literally hiding behind his skirts.

Each pair of windows is topped with a round window, about ten inches across and about twenty feet off the ground, featuring an image and in most cases some text. The size and placement of these windows makes them nearly impossible to see clearly without visual aid from anywhere but the choir loft. The images do not seem to have a consistent theme, nor, for the most part, do they appear to be related to the portraits below. Some of these images have fared badly over the years, with some of the lettering flaking off and becoming unreadable.

Windows as old as the church, windows that have cast their light down on generations of parishioners. Ancient names preserved for posterity. Unique and ever-changing plays of light. Works of art perhaps beyond the skills of modern craftsmen. All this could be lost with a single decree. There are many things in this world that we take for granted that are passing away forever. If we have the power to preserve these things for future generations, do we not also have an obligation? Anyone with a camera can do the same thing I did. Anyone with a blog can share their images with the world.

When I first began posting my stained glass images to my blog, Another Monkey, a tattoo artist friend suggested that I should consider commemorating these windows with a tattoo. If I were to get one, it might be this one, of a smug-looking St. Michael the Archangel with the Devil under his feet. But then I thought about it: this window has been around for over a century. Any tattoo I might get would last another forty or fifty years. How transient a tribute to something that has been around for so long!

St. Mary's was not the only church in Nanticoke facing consolidation and closure. St. Stanislaus was one of the oldest churches in Nanticoke, and the first of three Parishes that were ethnically Polish. In the 1990's it underwent major renovations and became a bright, airy place, with modern stained-glass windows that admitted copious amounts of light. This photograph was taken on June 6, 2010, after the final Mass held there. St. Stanislaus is now closed.

Holy Family Church was once the chapel for the St. Stanislaus Orphanage. It was a small but remarkably comfortable and airy place, with this rose window featuring images of the four Evangelists casting its light from behind the altar. This image was taken after the final Mass there, on June 20, 2010. Holy Family is now closed.

Holy Trinity was formed in the late 19th century by parishioners who broke away from St. Stanislaus. It is an enormous, opulent, ornate church. This stunning window is set above the main entrance to the church and faces East, and glows so much thatthe glass might be heavily doped with uranium. Holy Trinity no longer exists as a parish, but the building lives on as the primary worship site for Nanticoke Catholics, rechristened St. Faustina Kowalska parish.

We may be helpless to stop the passing of the old world, but we can at least create a record of its existence to share with future generations – if only to say “This is what you missed. We had it and we let it go away. Sorry about that.” But the time to do that is now, before these places are closed, and demolished, and turned to piles of rubble.

And what of St. Mary's? What of the church that I grew up in, where I served as an altar boy? What of the windows that have looked down on generations of parishioners like glowing illustrations from a book?

St. Mary's no longer exists as a parish, but the building lives on as the Alternate Worship Site for the Parish of St. Faustina Kowalska. Its continued existence is not assured; very soon the diocese will assess whether a secondary site is necessary at all, and depending on that assessment, the building itself may be closed for good, and the sight of these stained glass windows may be forever denied to future generations – as has happened at the parishes of St. Francis, St. Stanislaus, St. Joseph, and Holy Family. For now, if you wish, you could still see these windows with your own eyes. In the future, perhaps all that will be left will be photographs and memories.

Pecha Kucha Scranton is tomorrow!

2012-01-27T14:19:00.002-05:00

Well, we're coming down to the wire. Pecha Kucha night in Scranton is tomorrow, starting at 7:30! I talked about the details here, although I may have glossed over the bit about the $5 admission.

I haven't scripted out what I want to say. Instead I've been composing as I've gone along, arranging and rearranging my twenty images according to the story I want to tell. But once it's done, I think I will repost the images (most - possibly all - of which have already appeared here) along with an approximation of what I said here. Maybe I will rough out a script so I don't forget key points during the actual presentation. (This is why I write up the companion post for each PA Live! Blog of the Week ahead of time, so I can recall what I wrote and touch on it on-air.)

Come out and see us if you can! From hints I'm getting about the other presentations, this should be a real fun time!

P.S. I JUST found out that I'm going first! Hooboy...

250,000

2012-01-23T23:12:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been an eventful few days. We had our first sizable snowstorm of this warm, snowless Winter - about six inches of fluffy powder in Nanticoke on Saturday morning. Saturday night I was told by a friend that Joe Paterno was close to death, and Sunday morning the announcement went out that he had died.

But that's not what I'm posting about. No, I'm posting about the fact that today, this happened:

250,000 visitors! Now, granted, a bunch of those visits are from the googlebot. And more than a few are by me, before I figured out how to ignore my own visits. But I also didn't have a SiteMeter counting for the first month or so, so it balances out, maybe!

So, congratulations, Unknown visitor from an Unknown Organization in an Unknown Country! I hope somewhere in the two pages you visited during your 46-second visit, you found the information on classifications of species comic strip that you were looking for!

And a big thank you to everyone else who has visited since I started this blog way back in May of 2004! Every one of you has gone to making up the 250,000 visitors! Except those who visited before I had the SiteMeter up. And those who visited when I had to take the SiteMeter down for a few days because it was making the Internet crash. But the rest of you, you are the true heroes!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011 movie)

2012-01-16T17:41:00.003-05:00

I saw the 2011 Daniel Craig/Rooney Mara version of Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last week. While I don't feel up to doing a full review (bottom line: I liked it, more than I thought I would, and it improves on the book in several places), I would like to jot down some random thoughts.

- The day before I saw this film, a total stranger with whom I was having a random conversation asked me if I found Lisbeth Salander attractive. I found this a little hard to respond to - I had only seen Rooney Mara in the preview posters and trailers, so I couldn't say for sure. As I read the book the character in my mind's eye variously wore the faces and bodies of three different women I know to varying degrees, none of whom really resemble the description in the book. When I finally saw Rooney Mara's portrayal my immediate thought was "no, she's not attractive." I hated her missing eyebrows and her I-just-cut-it-myself hairstyle. As her portrayal developed I found her more and more attractive, until by the end of the movie I found her completely attractive. I also noticed thanks to some close-ups that her eyebrows were actually there, but pale to the point of invisibility. This is consistent with the book, where Lisbeth is a natural blonde who dyes her hair black.

- Age-wise at least, Daniel Craig is a perfect match for Mikael Blomkvist, though while reading the book I imagined him as Russell Crowe. (It turns out I am just a few weeks older than Daniel Craig, so I too would have been a good fit to play this role, age-wise.) Blomkvist's character is portrayed as less of a slut in the movie than he is in the books. (I mean, dude, seriously.) There is a hilarious scene in the film where he sits on a bed sobbing "Somebody just shot at me!" and you just want to grab him and slap him and say "Dude! You're James-freaking-Bond! Man up!" (Lisbeth Salander effectively does just that.)

- Christopher Plummer delivered his lines at triple the speed I expected him to, which probably kept this from being a five-hour-long movie. My first thought was "A guy that old wouldn't be talking that fast," and then I realized that a guy that old was talking that fast. So instead of a staid, dour old man weighed down by guilt over a missed conversation and tortured by a forty-year-old mystery and its aftermath, we see Henrik Vanger as a sprightly, charming fellow who wants to take one last shot at solving this mystery before his time is up. And, hey, it's Christopher Plummer, dammit.

- Julian Sands played young Henrik Vanger. It was strange seeing him in a non-speaking role in flashbacks to 1966. It was stranger to realize that The Sound of Music, perhaps Christopher Plummer's most-viewed performance, came out in 1965. So Julian Sands is basically playing Christopher Plummer one year after The Sound of Music!

- I was very glad that the action of the story was kept in Sweden and not relocated to the United States. I was a little disappointed that newspaper stories were shown in English, but that's understandable. (Still, did Swedish newspapers in the 1960's use that much color? I don't think color really came into use in the U.S. newspaper industry until the 1980's, but that could just be a regional thing.) I liked the attempts at Swedish accents (I have no idea what a real Swedish accent should sound like) but the guy who played Martin didn't sound like he was even trying - he sounded more like Colm Meany. Yeah. Turns out that was Stellan Skarsgård, a fairly prolific and famous Swedish actor, from Sweden and everything. Complete with a genuine Swedish accent.

- There is one scene that just blew me away and made me want to kiss the director or director of photography or whoever was responsible for it. It is shortly after someone has shot at Blomkvist, and he is meeting with Henrik, Martin, and Frode in what I believe was a meeting room in Martin's house. The windows are huge and white and glaring; I don't know if they were iced over or if a fresh snow had just fallen. The room is white, and everything in it is grey, or white, or black, except for the flesh tones of the men having the conversation. I was stunned. The very next scene is Blomkvist and Salander walking along a path on Hedeby Island, and the scene is mostly gray and black and some muted brown, with their skin again the only real color present.

- There were some scenes and lines created out of whole cloth for the film. The bit with Harald was fantastic. I haven't laughed at the antics of a Nazi that much since Hogan's Heroes.

- A great line that I don't think was in the book: "Can I go home now?"

- The solution to the opening mystery of the book (Who is sending Henrik framed flowers every year on his missing niece's birthday? And why?) is addressed almost as half-assedly as it is in the book (where it is mentioned in passing in Chapter 27, while the reader is saying "Wait, the mystery is solved, why are there still over 100 pages to go?")

- Salander talks to police throughout her investigations. This is a sharp departure from her character in the book. Still, if the film had remained completely faithful to the book, most of her scenes would have consisted of her looking things up online. She also openly admits her photographic memory to Blomkvist, something that was a major point of conflict in the book. And we see her going to a club and picking someone up; in the second book it is asserted that she has not gone to a club in years, and she is not likely to pick up a stranger for a casual encounter.*

- The temporal setting of the story is a bit vague. We know that pivotal events took place in 1966, and I believe Henrik refers to this as being 40 years ago. (In the book 36 years have passed, but I am uncertain what year Harriet disappeared.) That would place the action of the film in 2006 or earlier. I don't know if the technology we see throughout is consistent with a 2006 setting, though in a few years it will all look antiquated.

- The film's ending packs a bit more emotional punch than in the book. Salander's intended gift involves much more thought and emotional (and financial) investment. Blomkvist's unthinking betrayal, while consistent with his behavior in the book, is probably less obvious to people who have only seen the movie.

- Some plot points are spelled out in this film that may come from the second and third books, so...spoiler alert, I guess.

So there you go. Sorry I wasn't able to go into more detail!

ADDED 1/16/2011, 8:12 PM:

- Both Blomkvist's ex-wife and Martin Vanger use the same wine glasses. They're probably from IKEA, but they look disturbingly like ISO standard wineglasses. I've always thought that you would cut the bridge of your nose with those things if you drank more than a sip at a time.

- Everyone grabs for their cell phones when Blomkvist gets a call at the Christmas party. It's a hysterical little scene, but does everyone in Sweden use the same ring tone?

- Blomkvist repeatedly can't get a signal at the cottage on Hedeby Island. This is a major plot point later on, It appears, incongruously, hilariously, in the action-packed teaser trailer at 1:11.

*And as I'm pushing my way through The Girl who Played with Fire, I just discovered that the touching scene at the end with Holger Palmgren is completely non-canon, and is apparently contrary to Salander's actions. The scene is essentially a stand-in for the absent scenes of Lisbeth interacting with her mother, so I'm not going to complain.

Salem, ten years later

2012-01-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

The Golden Globes, the Martin Luther King holiday, and the Patriots playing in a division championship (I think, I don't follow football) are all reminding me of the events ten years ago this week that I recounted here:

Another Monkey: Salem, Massachusetts, January 2002

Good times, several lifetimes ago.

Pecha Kucha Scranton

2012-01-15T01:11:00.001-05:00

Pecha Kucha. It's a simple idea with a distractingly ridiculous name: Twenty slides, twenty seconds each, no backsies. In that time, within those limits*, you do a presentation on...anything.

A few weeks ago I was invited to take part in Pecha Kucha Night Scranton on January 28, 2012. According to the event's Facebook page, it will take place from 7:30 to 9:30 PM at the Vintage Theater, located at 119 Penn Avenue in Scranton, PA.

My presentation - one of many to be done that night - has a remarkably pretentious title but focuses on a topic familiar to longtime readers of this blog: The stained glass windows of what used to be Our Lady of Czestochowa (St. Mary's) church in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania. More than that, I look at the closing of Catholic churches in Nanticoke - which was the driving force behind the Stained Glass Project in the first place - and the passing away of an old world that we have an opportunity, and perhaps an obligation, to preserve, even if just photographically. (OK, you twisted my arm. The presentation is called "Against the Dying of the Light.")

I'm a bit excited about this. It will be my first opportunity to display these photos before a live crowd, and the first chance to gauge reactions directly. It will also be my first attempt at threading a storyline through not only my stained glass images but also my Churches of Nanticoke images, and bringing it all home in a way that will connect with people. Maybe, based on the crowd reaction, I might decide to go further with this.

If you're interested, stop in at the Vintage Theater in Scranton on Saturday, January 28 starting at 7:30. If this event is well-received, perhaps this will be just the first of many Pecha Kucha nights locally!

Other posts about this event:
The Vintage Theater
NEPA Blogs
Brent Pennington

*So this has me wondering about limits. What if someone includes the same slide twice in a row, creating eighteen 20-second slides and one 40-second slide? What if they took this further? What if they took this all the way, and displayed twenty identical slides, effectively displaying one slide for 400 seconds?

Do you have a blog card?

2012-01-12T11:47:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid reading Sherlock Holmes stories, I was always fascinated by the use of calling cards. Someone would show up at 221B Baker Street, ring the bell, and hand Mrs. Hudson a card. She would send it up to Mr. Holmes so he could decide whether or not he wanted to talk to the person at his door, and at the same time ascertain from the card what part of the country they were from, what they had for breakfast, and their shoe size.

Decades later I became all-too-familiar with the intricacies of business cards, and the international customs involved in the exchange of business cards. (In this culture you present with two fingers, only after being offered a card; in this culture you use both hands to present the card, accompanied by a bow. Here's a video that looks at some of the subtleties of business card culture.) When I became a blogger I got to thinking: why not create a business/calling card for my blog, Another Monkey? It wouldn't have to be anything fancy - just a card with the name of my blog, the address, maybe a memorable picture. I already had the picture, and the card stock, so it didn't take much effort to create a card using a basic graphics package that I had picked up years earlier.

Years went by, and I handed out my card at various gatherings of bloggers. Then NEPA Blogs came into being, and later, the Blog Fests. I realized we had an opportunity to publicize NEPA Blogs to bloggers who might not be aware of it yet. Unfortunately by now I no longer had my original computer, or the installation disks for my graphics package (one of them went missing, rendering the whole shebang useless). But using the free program at avery.com ("Design & Print Online" under "Templates & Software") I put together a basic card. As Michelle took the site further and further into the social media world, the amount of information that needed to be on the card kept increasing. Finally it settled down to this:

So on one card we have the blog name, the shortcut address, the full address, the email address, and the names for use on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter. It's a crowded card, but it works.

I carry a supply of both cards with me at all times now. Anywhere I go that seems appropriate I will tack up or leave one or both, or simply hand them out. I pass out the NEPA Blogs card to other guests at PA Live! who have blogs or are interested in starting blogs.

So what about you? If you're a blogger, do you have a blog card? The perforated business card stock is easily available at any office supply store, or even the computer paper sections of some retailers. Avery.com provides a broad range of free templates (including a blank one, which I prefer) to design your card.

If you're going to the Spring 2012 NEPA Blog Fest on March 20, you should consider putting together a blog card to hand out. NEPA Blogs will also have a card exchange table where you can leave your card and pick up the blog cards of other bloggers. Blog cards are a great way to express your creativity and advertise your blog at the same time!

Have your old posts been Drafted by Blogger?

2012-01-11T13:32:00.001-05:00

I came across an interesting item on "The Real Blogger Status" today. It's in a post called "Recovering A Deleted Post" - which is itself interesting. But what caught my eye was this:

The choices of recovery / restore may depend upon how the deletion / removal occurred.

(1) Deleted by Blogger - Saved as Draft, because of DMCA violation accusation.
...

Well, that's interesting. It made me wonder: If Blogger were to do this to an old post of yours, delete it and save it as a draft, would they inform you? Or would past posts be silently slipping away into draft status?

I decided to check for myself. I know that I have numerous posts saved as draft. In some cases I started them, lost interest, and set them aside for later. In other cases I had a germ of an idea but didn't get around to doing anything with it. Other times I accidentally created a post from an online article using the blogger toolbar, or simply put something together as a post with no intention of publishing it.

Still, when I opened my list of draft posts, there were a few that looked completed, published even. One dealt with the issue of advertising back in February of 2009. Did Google decide that this crossed the line on its rules for people publishing ads not drawing attention to the ads, and put the blog into a draft status?

There are two others in draft status that dealt with the issue of racism in politics. Unlike the "Advertising" piece, neither of these posts had been assigned labels. And both of these posts seem to lack conclusions. Did I just get tired of writing them and save them for later?

NOTE: In a post published the same day as the "Advertising" post was written, I wrote this:

I have a different post about one-third done, but I'm going to hold off on it. It's nothing time-critical, anyway.

So it looks like I was the one who put that post in draft status.

Still, if you use Blogger, it might be worth your while to review your posts that are currently in Draft, to see if Blogger has been quietly flagging your posts for suspected DMCA violations.

Blog Fest is coming!

2012-01-09T20:34:00.002-05:00

The Spring 2012 edition of NEPA Blog Fest will be held at Rooney's Irish Pub in Pittston on the evening of Friday, March 30.

Blog Fest grew out of Gort's periodic gatherings of Wilkes-Barre area bloggers and others at a small bar in Wilkes-Barre. Occasionally a candidate for local office would stop by to put in some face-time. Two years ago Gort decided to try something new: working with local political bloggers Joe Valenti and Dave Yonki, he moved the event to a larger venue - Rooney's Irish Pub in Pittston - and put out an invitation to as many candidates running for state and local office as he could. He also put out the call to local media, letting them know this was happening.

And, whaddya know: it was a huge success.

We did it again in the Fall of 2010 with a slightly smaller turnout. (This was, however, the first time the event was dubbed "Blog Fest," on a handwritten sign in front of the place.) But in the beginning of 2011, Gort was taking a break from blogging. As the Winter started to edge into Spring I began to wonder about whether a Spring edition of the event would be held at all. Finally, while catching up on posts I had missed on Dave Yonki's blog, I came across the announcement - nearly three weeks after it had originally been posted on Joe Valenti's Pittston Politics blog. (Dave's blog is indexed by issue number, and Joe's by date, so if you miss an announcement on either one, the only way to know about it is to go back and read through every post you've missed.) While word of the event may have gone out to Dave and Joe's regular readers, the larger community of bloggers throughout Northeastern Pennsylvania were generally in the dark about it.

Michelle and I found out about this at about the same time, and with just a few weeks to go she decided to try to publicize the event to non-political bloggers and the general public. She wrote up a post for NEPA Blogs, she sent out information to the local media, we posted announcements wherever we could find available space.

In the end it was a mostly political event, less well-attended than the first one (and possibly the second.) Non-political bloggers were few and far between. (This may have been due in part to a major political event in Dupont and a dinner for the Luzerne County Historical Society being held that night.) For whatever reason, Rooney's seemed to be unprepared for the size of the crowd, and service was very slow. Gort, however, was in attendance, and I believe that he was inspired that night to resume blogging, and to be at the helm for the next Blog Fest.

Gort announced the upcoming Fall 2011 Blog Fest on his blog and through Facebook. Unfortunately he did this with just nine days to go until the actual event! This wasn't as last-minute as it seemed: he had been working to schedule the event so that as many candidates as possible could attend without having a conflict with their campaign and fundraising schedules. The Blog Fest was held just weeks after the worst flooding in the region's history, only a hundred feet or so from the high-water mark, as a light rain managed to re-flood many of the roads leading away from the venue. There were plenty of candidates on hand, and a few more non-political bloggers than at previous events, all of which was quite remarkable given the circumstances.

So now the news is going out about the Spring 2012 event. Michelle has issued a "Save the Date" announcement - because, what the heck, this time there are twelve weeks until the actual event, and we're going to need to issue reminders every week or two or everybody is going to forget about it.

So who is going to show up? In the past a lot of non-political bloggers didn't show up because they perceived it as a political event, and their absence made it even more so. But it doesn't have to be that way. Politics is a part of life, but life is about more than politics. Blogs are about more than politics, too; some people - especially some political bloggers - may not see it that way, but a quick glance at the live updates list on the NEPA Blogs sidebar will reveal a whole lot of bloggers who do not write primarily about politics, if at all.

Yet non-political bloggers cannot pretend that politics doesn't exist just because they, say, find political chit-chat so godawful dull that they would rather core out their ear canals with a grapefruit spoon than listen to someone drone on and on about the intrigues and treachery in some local school board or political body. This stuff affects us all - if not directly, then regionally; the corruption of judges in Luzerne County or county commissioners in Lackawanna County or whoever in Wilkes-Barre or Pittston or Scranton affects the overall perception of Northeastern Pennsylvania, and affects little things like how willing companies are to move into the area, and therefore what the likelihood that more and better jobs will ever come back to NEPA.

So if you're a political blogger, show up: you'll find plenty of candidates who want to talk to you and try to get in your good graces. And if you're a non-political blogger, show up too: you'll find other non-political bloggers who would love to meet and interact with you. And maybe the two groups could mingle a bit. Political bloggers might discover a world of blogging that exists outside of politics, and non-political bloggers might find a few thoughtful, intelligent candidates who are willing to actually listen to what normal people have to say.

But whatever you do, please keep me away from the grapefruit spoons.

The relentless march of fracking

2012-01-02T00:04:00.003-05:00

As I read the year-end reports of the top news stories of 2011, I think one of the great underreported, undercited stories of 2011 is the slow, grinding, gnawing, relentless change coming through the Pennsylvania government's total commitment to making this a frack-friendly state.

It's not in the big stories, but in the little things that hit page 6 and then go away:

- Cabot Oil stopping delivery of water to the Dimock residents whose wells were contaminated (and who won a judgement against Cabot - before it was later overturned.)

- The continued bubbling of methane into the Susquehanna (and where else? would we notice methane being released anywhere other than under water?)

- The elimination of local control over any zoning regulations involving fracking.

- The Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation (SLAPP) filed by Chief Gathering against concerned individuals who were trying to stop Chief from running a gas pipeline through their neighborhood - the lawsuit would have bankrupted any non-Corporate Citizen in NEPA, and even the costs associated with fighting it would be enough to economically cripple anyone. (Among other things, Chief wanted to financially destroy these residents of Northeastern Pennsylvania for portraying Chief as bad neighbors...something that Chief's actions in the suit proved to be true.)

- The death of John Jones III on July 31 when an out-of-control fracking truck overturned onto his car, killing him and injuring his daughter.

- The recent collision of two fracking trucks that resulted in a spill of "drilling mud" (doesn't that sound benign?) into a creek.

- The contamination of a pristine waterway by multiple releases of "drilling mud" into it.

- The intentional dumping of fracking waste onto game lands.

- The poaching of deer out-of-season and without a license by employees of the drilling industry.

- The arrest of a group of illegal immigrants working for a fracking contractor.
- The approval of new fracking-related withdrawals of water from the Susquehanna River at a meeting of the Susquehanna River Basin Commission - after the meeting was abruptly adjourned without allowing the scheduled period of public comment.

...and on and on and on.

In two years or so, people will look at the glowing skies at night from the lights of the drilling pads, hear the continuous industrial clamor of the drilling rigs, look at the unsellable status of their houses (who would want to buy a house in such a location?), look at the destruction of freshwater supplies and the contamination of creeks and streams, shake their heads at the latest deaths due to fracking truck accidents, read about the latest crimes perpetrated by roughnecks from Oklahoma and Texas and Georgia, and ask "What happened? How did this happen?"

NEPA Blogs: 2011 in review

2011-12-30T23:53:00.000-05:00

Most of my Blogging Energy Units lately have been going into NEPA Blogs. It's evolved from a little side-project into a full-fledged networking site for bloggers from Northeastern Pennsylvania, complete with an extensive presence in both social media and "old media" outlets (including a weekly TV spot!) - mostly due to the efforts of co-administrator Michelle Hryvnak Davies. And to think that a year ago I was thinking of letting the site slide into oblivion. Read all about it here:

NEPA Blogs: NEPA Blogs year in review 2011

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the book) - a mini-review

2011-12-23T01:20:00.007-05:00

So. I just plowed through Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. And at the risk of being ostracized by friends from all walks of life, I have to say that I was not all that impressed.

It's hard to say anything about this book without giving something away, so let me start off by saying this:

SPOILERS FOLLOW

Click here to continue reading this post...

I'm still blogging (yeah, yeah, yeah)

2011-12-13T00:36:00.000-05:00

OK. I just did a title reference to an Elton John song. Hooboy.

I haven't given up blogging. I'm still at it, trying to post every day (or so) over at NEPA Blogs. The routine generally goes like this: Michelle finds the blogs, mostly through the NEPA Blogs Twitter followers (yes, we're on Twitter), and passes the sites on to me. I write up posts and add the links. If I have time and have a bunch of blog sites to add, I'll write them all up in one push (often while listening to Awolnation's Sail on continuous repeat - follow that link for the official video, or this one for the funnysexycool version, or this one for the hauntingly perfect one that is just the video to another song by another band, Eye of the Storm by Lovett...which appears to be gone now, dammit, but seems to have been replicated here) and program them to appear one a day for the next few days.

Except for Tuesdays: Tuesday is the day I go on WBRE's PA Live! and present the Blog of the Week, live on TV. Sometime between 4:00 and 5:00, usually around 4:30. This is actually pretty awesome. It's a great show with a focus on Northeastern Pennsylvania, and has probably given lots of people their first-ever chance to be on television. Michelle and I were already seasoned vets when we did our screen tests, thanks to our ComputerWise TV appearance a few months earlier. And like the ComputerWise TV appearance, this is really the result of Michelle's campaign for media domination for NEPA Blogs, which is working out quite well.

I'm also engaged in an increasingly aggressive job search, and doing my damnedest to think outside the box. Blogging and PA Live! both play a role in that, and I find myself becoming more socially active than I once would have considered normal. But all this is focused on a goal.

I've taken up with a writers' group in Scranton, and another one that is online. I'd like to grow as a writer, and improve my work. It's interesting to see the different takes on writing in the group. Many of the members are focused on writing as a profession, on teaching or on winning prizes, and have bought into specific paradigms of writing, some of which I'm only vaguely aware. Other members come from completely different backgrounds. There's a very good mix of ages and experiences in the group. At the very least these writing groups will provide material for some posts - and maybe spin off a blog or two as well.

So: I'm still blogging. I'll have plenty more to say here soon.

Title reference: I'm Still Standing by Elton John.

Myths of unemployment and the economy

2011-12-04T16:56:00.005-05:00

There is a small but significant subclass of society whose job it is to go on TV or radio and pontificate and prognosticate about the economy and the current unemployment situation. In some cases they're doing this to actually promote some other agenda: my candidate / group / party is correct, see how their policies are working / see how the other party's policies aren't working / see how our predictions have come to pass. Other times, I am convinced, these are people who are in a blind panic, realizing that they are one executive decision away from joining the ranks of the unemployed, knowing that unless they spout some blather that sounds convincing, they'll be out on the streets looking for work themselves.

Time and time again I hear the same tired statements come up, like some "most dangerous virus ever" scam that keeps showing up in your in-box no matter how many times you tell people to check this damned stuff on snopes already. These myths are popular, persistent, and wrong - but they're easy to repeat, and repeating them sure beats thinking.

- X weeks of unemployment is enough. I hear this one from both sides in almost every discussion. Sure, the economy is terrible, there are 15 people looking for every job that's available, but enough is enough. After X weeks of unemployment anybody should be able to find a job.The ugly truth is, after an individual has been out of work for a certain amount of time - six months is the number most often quoted - the difficulty of them finding a job goes up exponentially. Perhaps they are judged to be worthless losers, with the stink of failure on them; perhaps companies figure that any job skills they might have had are now completely stale and untransferable. And the reality is, our system is not set up to provide unemployment benefits to everyone who finds themself unemployed for an extended period of time during an economic situation like the one we're in. After a certain amount of time, you're supposed to lose your house, supposed to lose the ability to send your kids to school, or to feed them or clothe them or do anything else. After a certain amount of time, you're supposed to become homeless, and stop being a burden on the government and instead become a burden on charity agencies. Or better yet, just relieve society of the burden of worrying about you.

Truth be told, X weeks of unemployment is not enough, not in this economy. After six months of unemployment, benefits may need to last indefinitely, unless companies change their hiring policies.

- Recession? What recession? That ended years ago. I keep hearing this one, and it always makes me laugh. The "Recession," as defined by economists, began at some specific date following so many quarters of negative economic growth - and then ended after some other technical milestone was achieved. I know people from Northeastern Pennsylvania who are still in touch with Northeastern Pennsylvania but work for the federal government inside (or just outside) the beltway. And the talk around the water cooler there is all about how the Great Recession is a thing of the past, and things are looking much better now. And in fact, things are doing very well in this particular industry, though the failure of the Supercommittee is supposed to trigger some automatic cuts there that probably won't happen. And if my friend should bring up the misery and hardship being experienced by people back in Northeastern Pennsylvania, such remarks are met with glares or rolling eyes. Of course a bunch of hick coal crackers are going to have it tough. There's winners and there's losers, baby, and we're winners, and they're losers. Deal with it.

- Only core inflation matters, and it's holding steady. I love Paul Krugman to death. He's funny, he's smart, and he's been doing his damnedest for years to get the economy turned in the right direction, building up a following that has dubbed itself Krugman's Army (a la Dumbledore's Army.) I created a very popular demotivational poster of him that has been posted around the internet without attribution for quite some time and was responsible for many paragraphs of pointless bickering over on digg.com. But I disagree with him strongly over his focus on core inflation. Core inflation is inflation minus the highly volatile food and energy components. With food and energy factored in, inflation is all over the place. Without food and energy factored in, inflation seems to display trends that are rational, predictable, and can be dealt with by statistical methods.

The problem, of course, is that food and energy are very significant to most people, what with their need to eat and, you know, do things.

That's not the only problem. In Pennsylvania and elsewhere, cost of living adjustments (COLAs) for senior citizens and others on public assistance are based on core inflation. For many years core inflation has remained constant, or even dropped - in any case, it has not increased enough to trigger a cost of living adjustment for the poor and the elderly, which, as noted before, is fine as long as recipients aren't counting on this money to pay for food or heat or electricity. Meanwhile, state legislators just received a COLA of their own, based on a law passed over a decade ago which they are powerless to do anything about. Interestingly, their COLA is not based on core inflation, but includes the volatile (and allegedly ignorable) food and energy components. Because apparently state legislators need to eat more than little old ladies.

(Many legislators have nobly opted to turn down this raise, powerless as they are to actually do anything about it; they will turn over the increase in their paycheck to local organizations. However, as one newspaper pointed out, their pensions will be based on a figure that factors in the pay raise, whether they want it or not.)

- The unemployment rate is X.X%. Now, this has to be qualified as "one of those things I heard somewhere" - in this case, on NPR a few months ago: the unemployment statistics you hear tossed around every month are not based on hard data gleaned from looking at unemployment records. It's based on a monthly survey, a statistical sampling of workers that asks if they are working, if they are looking for work, or if they have given up looking for work. From those survey results statistical analysis techniques are applied to derive a figure that, in theory, corresponds to a real world figure - which is then dutifully reported with decimal-place accuracy. Not that it really matters: "real world" data ignores a lot of realities, too. People who are no longer eligible for unemployment benefits are no longer considered unemployed. Nor are people working for a fraction of their previous income, or those working part-time jobs when they're seeking full-time employment. An engineer working at a deli counter is still considered employed; if that same engineer were to decline to take a job working at a deli counter, he would be considered not unemployed, because his unemployment would be a matter of his own choice.

Active-duty members of the military are considered employed, too. Which is something many people forget: as taxpayers, they are employers as well - of the entire federal government, and of the military it maintains. (In a sense, the September 11th hijackers can be considered "job creators," since their actions have resulted in massive increases of employment in the military, Homeland Security, and throughout the federal government.) But in just a little while, many of these folks we be coming home and finding themselves no longer on active duty. Some of them will return to jobs that have been held for them during their time of service. Some of them will take advantage of preferential hiring policies directed towards veterans - which will, of course, make job searches for non-veterans even more difficult. But many of them will find themselves being suddenly added to the ranks of the unemployed.

I don't agree with a lot of what Ron Paul has to say. Sure, he's popular with the kids, and sounds like a real spitfire, but when you get down to it - well, this is a guy who named his son after a social theorist who built a philosophy around greed and contempt for the common man. But as he pointed out recently, the current unemployment figure (whoopee! it's something like 8.6%, or 8.5712679%, or whatever) is completely bogus and is based on gimmicked factors; he stated that certain economists have confided to him that the true unemployment rate is currently something like 23% - which, honestly, feels a bit closer to reality. But which figure really is?

- The economy is adding jobs! Different pundits will slice and dice and spin the issues differently, and the increase in jobs is a big favorite. From one point of view, a job is a job, whether it's a VP or CEO or shoe-shine boy or mall Santa Claus. During the national census in 2010, many people rightly pointed out that increases in federal jobs were mostly due to hiring of census workers. Is anyone feeling particularly smug about an uptick in hiring in November? While an increase in temporary sales staff, gift wrappers, and Santa and elves atthe local mall may truly be a positive indicator for the economy, it doesn't do much to change the overall jobs picture in the long run.

A better statistic to see would be a histogram of incomes. How many people are earning $10,000 - $20,000? How many are earning $150,000 - $160,000? How much has this histogram shifted in the past year? In the past decade (adjusted for inflation)? Of course, this data is available. But data is for wonks. The common response to data from a TV audience just waiting to see the latest episode of Swamp People or Bachelor Pad or Teen Mom is MEGO - "My Eyes Glaze Over." So the statistics are distilled into meaningless but easily digestible sound bites.

- People would rather stay on unemployment than work. Hey, you know what? This one is true. Sort of. A person who previously earned $N a year probably won't leap at an opportunity to earn $N/3, particularly if they're currently getting $N/2 in unemployment compensation. That's just good business sense. Of course, all those $N/year jobs have probably gone away - most likely overseas, to where people will work for $N/1000 a year.

Like it or not, downward mobility is now a fact of life, and many people will soon find themselves searching vigorously for jobs that pay a fraction of what they had previously earned. Back during the booming days of the Clinton Administration, it was easy to believe that our economy and society were on an upward trajectory that was sustainable and unstoppable. This may have helped spell doom for the Gore campaign. By rights, Al Gore should have won in a landslide, promising a continuation of the policies that had ushered in a new golden age of prosperity. But candidate Gore didn't run on that platform. Instead, he was the guy who was going to tell you to do your homework, and eat your vegetables, and put on a sweater, and turn off the lights when you leave the room. Bush, on the other hand, was a Rich Guy, and a lot of everyday citizens were looking at their 401k's and thinking "Hey, I'm a rich guy now, just like him, so I'd rather vote for the candidate who I can relate to, the candidate who's going to help me stay rich!" And so a lot of people who really didn't care that much one way or another let the prospect of having this Rich Guy at the helm guide their fingers in the voting booth. Unfortunately, it turned out the Rich Guy was more concerned about other Rich Guys than he was about all those middle-class folk who just thought they were rich. For the first 234 days of his presidency he worked on ways of showing his appreciation to his fellow Rich Guys - and after that, all bets were off as the nation fell into the economic trap sprung by the attacks of September 11, 2001. It's been downhill from there - for most of the country, anyway.

Economic disparity has increased since then. The rich have gotten richer, the poor have gotten poorer, and many more of the middle class have found themselves joining the ranks of the poor than ascending to the mansions of the rich. The poor have very little discretionary income to invest, while the rich often choose to spend their discretionary income in ways that do not directly benefit the U.S. economy. (Or even indirectly benefit it, if they're clever enough about avoiding taxes on their purchases.) Cheap foreign goods fill the megastores owned by the rich and patronized by the poor. Comparable goods made in America would cost several times as much - a reflection of the income disparity between employees of U.S. and foreign manufacturing.

The result is the new normal. Jobs that pay well have gone away. Income at the jobs that remain is much lower than job seekers want, though it is much higher than what employers would like to pay.

- Last month's figures have been adjusted, and we're doing better than we thought! I heard this one yesterday and nearly did a spit take. Not only did the make-believe employment statistic for November show that things are suddenly great, but adjusted figures for September and October showed that we had actually previously been doing better than we thought. One of the people being interviewed nearly wet his pants with joy over this. So apparently, any suffering experienced in September and October was just a mass delusion of sorts.

- The key to finding a job is networking! This isn't so much a myth as a massive oversimplification. Networking is a social function, though the sort of networking we're talking about here has a good deal of intentionality overlaid on it. But like many human activities, and like most social skills, this is something for which some people have an aptitude, while others do not. For some people networking comes easily, as easily as striking up a conversation with a stranger or speaking in public. These people are often drawn to cocktail parties and chit-chat, and see networking as perfectly natural. For other, less extroverted individuals, the thought of networking, especially with the intentionality that is required to establish the sort of network that would be beneficial in finding a job, is cripplingly terrifying.

And not all networks are created equal. If you've grown up amongst the country-club set, you likely already have access to a highly valuable network of individuals cultivated over the years or even generations. Finding yourself unemployed is not much of an issue if your father grew up with the father of the right people, or if you know someone who can see to it that the right doors are opened, the right introductions are made, and the right ears are whispered in. For the rest of us, you may find that your list of "friends" on Facebook just isn't going to cut it. Yet attending a LinkedIn mixer may not be quite so valuable if you find it impossible to get access to the appropriate cliques and circles. Establishing a useful social network may require as much groundwork and research as - well, as finding a job once took. And once you've met and connected with the right people, you're still just at square one.

This isn't to say that networking isn't valuable, or won't pay off. It is, and it might. But it's not easy. It will take a lot of work, unless you're one of those lucky individuals who was born into a social network, or who, like Radiohead asserted, finds that meeting people is easy.

- Everybody needs to become an entrepreneur! I heard this assertion once made by one of the guest-of-the-day talking heads on CNN. It sounds brilliant and simple: no one gets rich working for someone else. And even if you are working for someone else, you need to be CEO of yourself.

The problem is, again: entrepreneurship is a skill, a skill for which not everyone has an aptitude. It turns out that this is a testable skill. I tested for it, and it turns out my aptitude for entrepreneurship is nearly non-existent. I can do backbreaking grunt work; I can tirelessly hack away at tedious and meticulous details of complex problems; I can creatively come up with new ideas and better ways of doing things; I can relate to people across a broad spectrum. But if I were to open up my own shop it would probably fail miserably, at least according to this test. And my own experience has borne this out: Years ago I started the site NEPA Blogs - I've told the story several times before. But eventually I just let the site slide into near-disuse. Earlier this year, Michelle Hryvnak Davies, one of the co-administrators at the site, took it upon herself to revive NEPA Blogs and shift things into high gear. And since then we've been going full-steam - not just with a revitalized site, which is now adding more blogs in most months (thanks to Michelle's detective work with Twitter) than we had previously added in entire years, but also with an appearance on ComputerWise TV, a half-hour radio program that may soon become a regular show, and a weekly spot on the local lifestyles program PA Live! (Monday-Friday on WBRE from 4:00 to 5:00; our bit is on Tuesdays around 4:30.) None of this would have happened if I were doing it on my own. But in response to the things Michelle has done, I have found myself doing things far beyond what I ever thought possible. (Maybe one of these days I'll even get on Twitter.)

- The long-term unemployed are lazy and shiftless losers. Looking for a job isn't easy, even in the best of times. And these sure as hell aren't the best of times. But looking for work, day after day, sending out resumés and applications and not hearing anything back, or getting a response and a job offer for a fraction of what you think you should be earning, a fraction of what you had been earning - this has a way of grinding you down. It gets very discouraging and depressing, especially when you're throwing all your efforts into a job search and just coming up with the same job listings, day after day, week after week - and occasionally you see a promising prospect and leap at it, only to find that it's a job you've previously applied for.

It was very strange watching these talking heads on TV and realizing that most if not all of them are enjoying incomes in the six figures, in positions that are relatively secure, leading lifestyles that are for the most part insulated from the effects of the economic downturn. For them this situation is mostly theoretical, just another topic of conversation, one that they hope will result in good ratings. I wonder how the tone might change if they realized they were about to lose their jobs, and their incomes, tomorrow?

Trapped

2011-12-02T11:44:00.001-05:00

I've lost my job twice in my life, both times from the same company. When I was cut as part of a huge reduction in force that eliminated nearly half my department in 2007, I wasn't too worried. I had a great resumé, or so I thought, with a degree in Physics and (at the time) over sixteen years of experience in industry, in positions ranging from basic grunt work to statistical analysis to management. I would be fine. Finding a job would be no problem.

Six months later, the company called and asked if I would like to come back - as a basic grunt, with a 1/3 cut in pay. I jumped at the chance, since nothing else had presented itself in that time.

For the next three years I buried myself in this job, racking up as much overtime as I could. With enough overtime I could almost earn as much as I had been earning before I lost my job in 2007. And there was always a chance that the industry would pull itself out of the slump that was killing it, that it would latch onto new and innovative products and services that would carry it forward through the next decade. And if that happened, that better jobs would appear on the boards, jobs similar to the one I had lost in 2007.

That didn't happen. Market forces and the loss of a major client (not through any fault at the manufacturing level) forced another major reduction in force at the end of 2010. Hundreds of employees lost their jobs. Including me.

Because a lot of the work that we lost was now being manufactured in Mexico, those of us who lost our jobs in this layoff were eligible for some special services offered by the federal government. These services included retraining, primarily to learn things like medical records filing or basic computer skills. I opted to put my efforts into finding a job. Again, great resumé, now over nineteen years of experience in industry, etc.

Thing is, employers don't see things the way I expected they would. I've worked as a menial but fairly well-paid menial grunt, but any potential employer who is offering a job at that level may look at the other parts of my resumé and say "Whoa, degree in Physics? Statistical Process Control Coordinator? DVD Asset Manager? This guy doesn't want to work here. Next." And any potential employer offering a higher-level position might say "Yes, you have a degree in Physics, but you haven't used it. Nineteen years experience in industry? Maybe that will come in handy if we need a janitor. Next."

So around September I decided to give up. Take advantage of the training offer. Go back to school. And right on cue, the phone rang. Would I be interested in coming back to my old position on a temporary basis during the busy season? I would be working the regular 4x4 schedule, either 36 or 48 hours each week, with the option of working as much overtime as I wanted.

I didn't answer right away. The money would be fantastic. The job was slated to run from late September through mid-November. But how would this affect my eligibility for training? I called the people who would know at the relevant agencies. They looked into it, and they believed it would essentially stop the clock while I was working - deadlines for enrollment would be pushed out during my period of employment. And, more importantly, if I were to refuse the job, I might very well find myself ineligible for further unemployment benefits.

I took the job. I didn't have a choice, really. But I was really looking forward to earning money again.

And earn I did. A 48 hour week (for 52 hours pay, by overtime rules) followed by two 60 hour weeks (with 70 hours of pay.) I had visions of 72 and 84 hour weeks coming up (with 88 and 106 hour pays, respectively.) In the few weeks I would be there, I would sock away thousands of dollars. (I forgot about the bite that federal, state, and local taxes take out of your paycheck. That was a bit of a shock.)

But things started to dial back fairly quickly. I got in my 48 hour week and two 60 hour weeks, but then my next week was a measly 36 hour week. And the next one...well, it had been scheduled for 36 hours: twelve hours on Sunday, then twelve hours each on Friday and Saturday. I worked Sunday and things were going full-steam, but on Friday there was an eerie quiet to the plant. It wasn't until I got onto the floor that I discovered I was running some of the only systems that were operating. And that didn't last: someone with higher seniority wanted to work that night, so after four and a half hours I found myself handing off the presses and going home.

I didn't work the next day. Or the next week. Or the week after that. Though I was effectively "on call" each night that I was scheduled to work. I had to sleep as though I were on night shift, and by 8:00 each morning I would know if I had work at 6:00 that night.

The week after that I worked - a long week of 54 hours, since we were transitioning from the 4x4 to what I call the "krazy kalendar" of three (or four) twelve-hour days capped by four- or six- hour days. The week after that was Thanksgiving week. We were scheduled to start back on Tuesday, though I was cancelled for that day. Shockingly, I was scheduled to work on the night before Thanksgiving, but at the last moment - six hours after the "final" work schedule had been posted, and minutes before I was heading into the shower - I was told that I was being cancelled for the night. Thursday was Thanksgiving (just another day without pay for me) and Friday we were shut down.

This week I've been cancelled every day.

I expected this "temporary" assignment to end the week before Thanksgiving. It didn't. The person who brought me in, the person who said he would answer any questions I had, lost his job a few weeks after I started. I don't know if there's anyone left to turn this off. I don't know if there's any reason for the company not to have a "temporary" operator on reserve at all times, just in case.

I went in to the employment office to talk about the educational program. And I found - surprise, surprise - that the clock had been ticking all this while. If I wanted to take advantage of the educational benefits, I had to find something immediately. And since I was technically working, albeit temporarily and sporadically, I would have to find a class schedule that would work around a night shift "krazy kalendar" schedule. And I couldn't quit my (temporary, sporadic) job or I would lose all my benefits, including the educational benefits.

I still think I have a great resumé. I still think someone somewhere will see value in my educational background and in my nineteen years of experience in industry. And I have spent much of the last year - the parts where I wasn't working or looking for work - learning on my own, and developing and honing new skills. I haven't given up on finding a job, not yet. I will keep looking. But, who knows? Maybe next week my "temporary" job will call me back in to work again. Who would have thought that a temporary job would become a trap?

Who is to blame for the state of the economy?

2011-11-28T21:26:00.000-05:00

When I lost my job back in 2007, I knew things were bad. I had hope that they would get better. They didn't, but the problem felt...organic. Like it was just the natural consequence of a series of bad decisions made on a national level. Things that were unintentional consequences of basic greed. Things that could be corrected, as long as some people were willing to turn down their rapacity for the sake of keeping the system going. No point in killing the goose that lays the golden egg, right?

When I lost my job at the end of 2010 it felt more personal. Like it was a consequence of bad decisions made on a more...local level. Someone had screwed up, badly, and lots of other people were going to pay the price.

Even then, even after all those years of watching the national and global economic situation go from bad to worse, even after watching Pyrrhic defeat after Pyrrhic defeat in the political arena, even after saying it myself, I still didn't really believe that people would really and truly intentionally cripple the economy in an effort to hurt their political opponents, and to hell with the consequences, to hell with all the people who would be hurt. Even after Democratic members of Congress came out and stated directly that Republicans were intentionally hurting the economy to hurt President Obama's chances of re-election. Even after employers came out and said they refused to do any more hiring until that half-breed Kenyan-born Muslim socialist fascist was out of the White House.

Until John Boehner got up and said, yes, that's exactly what we're doing.

That was months ago. It hasn't gotten any better since then. The political battle is ramping up. Job seekers are being held hostage. The economy is being held hostage. Republicans want to maximize economic suffering to drive home the point that Americans made a terrible, terrible mistake when they elected Barack Obama in 2008.

Instead I think the point they are making, and underlining in red, and circling and drawing arrows and lightning bolts next to, is what a terrible, terrible mistake it was to load up Congress with even more Republicans in 2010.

Unfortunately, a large proportion of the electorate is soft-minded and easily manipulated. Yes, they say, Barack Obama is a failure, just like Rush Limbaugh said he would be! And besides, those Democrats are evil, what with their love of abortions and gay marriage and the Fourteenth Amendment and all that other un-American crap. I gotta vote Republican!

Will Democrats be able to persuade the electorate otherwise? If they can't, then I honestly think that they deserve to fail. And then our country will be completely back in the hands of the people who brought us to this point in the first place.

Do you have a blog? Why Facebook may not be enough

2011-11-26T14:49:00.000-05:00

Every Tuesday I'm at the studio at WBRE in Wilkes-Barre at 3:30 to be ready for my 4:30 appearance on PA Live! There are always other people on the set - chefs, bands, people presenting information about upcoming events, people from other organizations - and we usually strike up conversations before the show starts at 4:00.

One of the questions I always ask, after identifying myself as the representative of NEPA Blogs, is "Do you have a blog?"

In some cases the answer is "Yes," and I get the information to list them on NEPA Blogs. Sometimes the answer is "No, we have a website," which is also fine. But many times the answer is "No, but we have a Facebook page." And these people don't realize the opportunities for publicity that they're missing.

It's important to draw a distinction between a website, a blog, and a Facebook page. A "website," in the traditional sense, is a mostly-static (from the point of view of content) page that is set up to provide information to the world via the Internet. Sometimes it will have regularly updated content, or a calendar, or some other feature that provides information that changes over time. But for the most part, a website viewed tomorrow will look very similar to that same website viewed next week. This sense of familiarity actually provides a lot of the usefulness of the website.

"Blogs" are generally more dynamic than websites. By design they feature frequently-updated content. While the uses of blogs are many and varied, most of them strive to provide a more direct interaction between the blogger and the blog readers. For someone involved with an event or organization, this is a superb way of reaching out to the public and drawing them in, much more friendly and engaging than a simple website.

A "Facebook page" can be more intimate yet - and that's the problem. Facebook follows a "closed cocktail party" format: anybody can join, but only members can interact or (in many cases) even view content. And while it seems that everybody in the world is on Facebook, this is not in fact the case. So if you've put your event or organization on a Facebook page, you've actually just limited the people who can see the information about your event to other Facebook users. Worse, if your Facebook page is a group restricted to "members only," or if you're a performer with a "friends only" Facebook profile, you've limited your exposure even further.

I've seen this happen in several cases. Several benefit events that have had only a Facebook page, a page that was not something you would come across by accident. A young singer who said "I'm on Facebook and YouTube," but whose name was common enough to make it nearly impossible to find on either - and when I did find her on Facebook, her page was "friends only."

If you're looking to publicize yourself, your group, or your event, Facebook is a great way to share the information with people on your "Friends" list. It's a good way of building a "street team" of people who will spread the word for you. But it's a lousy way to communicate with the general public or the world at large. Not everybody who has access to the Internet is on Facebook, and not every search engine is going to index Facebook results the way they index everything else. Not everybody who is on Facebook is going to pick their way through the ever-changing complexities of its structure to find you.

(And keep in mind: what you've put on Facebook isn't yours. It's Mark Zuckerberg's playground, and he's just letting you play there. And when he rearranges it for the umpteenth time next week or next month or (or more likely and) next year, there's a very good chance your page or group or event won't function or be accessible in the same way anymore - if it's even available at all.)

Facebook is nice, it has its uses. It's a good way of communicating with a restricted group of people. But for getting your message out to the public at large about yourself, your group, or your event, get yourself a website. Or, better yet, get yourself a blog. They're free, they're easy to do, and they're a great way of connecting with the world.

About

2011-11-25T14:58:00.000-05:00

When I'm adding new blogs to NEPA Blogs, one of the first things I do is check for an "About" page. These are usually brief statements about the blog and/or its author, and they're a great way to get a quick feel for the blog. So it was fairly amusing when I realized, after all these years of blogging, I don't have an "About" for Another Monkey. So here goes.

My name is Harold Jenkins, but I blog under the name d.b. echo (usually all lowercase, but not always.) d.b. echo is the Mark Twain to my Samuel Clemens; it's a pseudonym, a nom de blog, but not exactly a closely guarded secret. I started Another Monkey back in May of 2004, and since that time I've actually started quite a few more blogs. Many of them are "spinoff" blogs that republish posts that already appeared here; the idea is that these blogs would collect posts on a single topic, like gardening or computer problems, so that I could get more specifically-targeted ads. 'Cause, y'know, blogging is all about the advertising revenue streams. Chya. I barely bring in enough each year to pay for the ink and paper in my printer.

(One blog that I am particularly proud of, that didn't start as a scheme to increase advertising revenue but rather as a scheme to increase site traffic, is NEPA Blogs. It has grown into something bigger and better than I ever envisioned it. But you can read all about it over there.)

Another Monkey is a lot of things: an outlet for my writing compulsions, a place to stretch my writing muscles, somewhere that I can post my photographs and my ideas and opinions. It's an autobiography in a million parts, an external memory storage, a place where I can share things with friends and random strangers alike. For a while I tried to do a post-a-day here, and I was able to keep it up for many months. But eventually it started to feel like I was just posting to post - and worse, the frequency of posts meant that some posts slipped off the front page before semi-regular visitors got a chance to see them. So I stopped, or at least dialed it back. Besides, a lot of the time when I'm not posting here I'm posting on NEPA Blogs or one of my other sites.

So. Read. If you see something you like, come back and read some more. Maybe I'll have something new for you then, or maybe you'll find something of interest among the more than two thousand posts I've already written.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy your time here, and I hope you come again.

Holiday Reruns: The Littlest Turkey!

2011-11-23T13:15:00.000-05:00

What's more traditional than gathering the kids around the TV to watch the same damned holiday specials on TV, year after year? ...well, at least that used to be the tradition, before a semi-infinite number of channels reduced the likelihood that you would be able to even find the specific program you're looking for to close to nothing. And besides, what kids want to watch TV shows about Charlie Brown's fixation with a withered branch of a tree (the moral of the story being that the true Christmas spirit came from the decorations on Snoopy's doghouse, which magically transformed the pathetic little tree into a thing of commercialized beauty), or a show about a green furry prowler trying to destroy Christmas, or a show featuring the Winter Warlock or the Bugermeister Meisterburger? They've got better things to do, like play the latest Call of Duty video game and learn what real fun it is to be in the military and kill people while having an infinite number of lives themselves.

Anyway...

Without further ado, here's a holiday rerun that's become a tradition at Another Monkey: The Littlest Turkey!

The Littlest Turkey was originally posted November 16 (Part 1) and 17 (Part 2 and Conclusion), 2005, and was originally posted complete in one post on November 24, 2005.

THE LITTLEST TURKEY
by
D.B. Echo

Once upon a time there was a farm where turkeys lived. All of them were young and plump, big and strong and proud. All of them except one. He was smaller than all the other turkeys. He was called the Littlest Turkey.

The Littlest Turkey wanted to run and play with the other turkeys, but they didn't want to play with him. "Go away, Littlest Turkey," they would say. "Come back when you've gotten bigger."

But the Littlest Turkey was sure he was as big as he was going to get. He tried to eat as much as he could, but he never seemed to get as big and plump as the other turkeys. And he knew that unless he got big and plump like the other turkeys, he would never get to go to the Laughter House.

The Laughter House was a wonderful place. The Littlest Turkey had never been in there. He knew that only the big and plump turkeys would get to go inside the Laughter House. He had seen them go in once, and had heard their squawks and gobbles of laughter for a little while. It must be wonderful in there, the Littlest Turkey thought. All those turkeys go in to laugh, and none of them had ever come out again. How much fun they must be having!

The Littlest Turkey decided that, big and plump or not, he would get into the Laughter House the next time they let the turkeys in.

*********

THE LITTLEST TURKEY
Part 2
by
D.B. Echo

The weather started getting cooler, and the leaves on the trees started to change colors. All the turkeys knew that soon it would be time for the biggest holiday of the year, Turkey Day.
"Just before Turkey Day is when they take the big and plump turkeys into the Laughter House," thought the Littlest Turkey. "But this time I'm going to get in there, too!"

It wasn't long before the big day came. All of the big and plump turkeys lined up to go into the Laughter House. The Littlest Turkey waited near the entrance of the Laughter House, then squeezed in between two very big and plump turkeys. No one noticed him because he was so little.

The Laughter House was dark inside, and there was a sort of moving sidewalk there that was taking turkeys into another room, where he could hear gobbles and squawks of laughter. One by one the turkeys hopped up to ride the sidewalk. The Littlest Turkey hopped up, too.
The turkey in front of him, whose name was Tom, turned around. "Go away, Littlest Turkey," he said. "Come back when you are bigger."

"Yes, go away," said the turkey behind him, whose name was also Tom. "They do not want little turkeys at the Market. Only big and plump ones."

"No," said the Littlest Turkey. "I want to go to the Market with you." He had never heard of the Market, but he realized that it must be even better than the Laughter House.

A Man spotted the Littlest Turkey. "Go away, Littlest Turkey," he said. "Come back when you are bigger."

"Oh, please, Mr. Man," said the Littlest Turkey. "I do so want to go to the Market with the other turkeys."

"Very well," said the Man. "We've got a quota to meet, anyway."

The Littlest Turkey rode the sidewalk into the other room. He wondered what things would be like at the Market.

*********

THE LITTLEST TURKEY
Conclusion
by
D.B. Echo

The Littlest Turkey was cold. He was colder than he ever remembered being before. But then again, it was hard to remember much since they had chopped his head off.

He was in a case with the other turkeys, the big and plump turkeys. Turkey Day was coming soon, and people were coming to the Market to pick turkeys to take home.

They always seemed to want the big and plump turkeys. One time a little girl had seen him in the case. "Mommy, mommy, look at the little turkey," she said. "I want to take home the littlest turkey."

"No, dear," her mother said. "We are having many people over for Thanksgiving. We need a big, plump turkey."

One by one the other turkeys left the Market to go home with people. Turkey Day was coming soon, and people were taking away more and more of the big and plump turkeys. But no one wanted the Littlest Turkey.
Finally, the day before Turkey Day came, and the Littlest Turkey found himself all alone in the case.

"How sad," he thought. "No one wants to take me home."

It was late in the day, and the Manager was about to close down the Market for the night. Suddenly a Man came into the store.

"I have a coupon," he said, "for a free turkey. Do you have any left?"

"You're in luck," said the Manager. "I have one left." He showed the Man the Littlest Turkey, all alone in the case.

"It's a little small," the Man said. "But I guess beggars can't be choosers. Besides, it's just me and my wife this year. A little turkey might be just what we need."

The Manager took the Littlest Turkey out of the case and traded him to the Man for the coupon he was holding. "Happy Thanksgiving!", he said to the Man.

"I'm not going to be left behind for Turkey Day," thought the Littlest Turkey happily as the Man put him in the trunk of his car. "I'm so happy. But I'm so cold." He rolled around a little as the car pulled out of the parking lot. "I sure hope I'm going someplace warm."

THE END

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 3

2011-11-21T20:37:00.001-05:00

The third and final day of the 2011 Sideshow Gathering was Sunday, November 6. The atmosphere seemed slightly different when I got there. With Franco gone, uncertainty had loomed over the 2011 Gathering right up until its opening. Now, were we present for the last day of the last Gathering, ever?

One of the local newspapers had run an article on the Gathering that morning, and despite some factual inaccuracies it still caused some excitement - to the point that every copy quickly sold out in the hotel. The TV on a stand with a DVD player told us that this day would be opening differently from the other two, and it did. Cris Siqueria, our exotic visitor from a faraway land (well, Brazil), showed a video she had compiled of her time spent this Summer with Jim Zajicek's Big Circus Sideshow.

After Cris's presentation was done, Tyler Fyre took the stage to open the day's festivities with an award - the Lifetime Achievement Award, presented to living legend Harley Newman. Harley is...well, simply amazing. He embodies the finest traditions of performers from the sideshow and beyond, but at the same time he rejects the hackneyed clichés and tropes that have become ingrained into many of the things that are seen as tradition. He is a former clown who brings a level of seriousness and intensity to everything that he does. And he is a teacher who is on a lifelong quest to learn. He has served to inspire many others at the Gathering to go beyond the things they are comfortable with, to embrace new challenges and experiment with new routines and presentations.

Harley Newman reflects on the Lifetime Achievement Award, presented to him by a man dressed like a pimp on his way to a funeral.

Next up was The Magic of Steve Hyde and Melanie. Melanie made a special trip in to the area to be able to perform with Steve at the Gathering once again, as they have for many years. Steve wowed the audience with stage magic and mentalist acts, routines that are as much a part of the historic traditions of Sideshow as sword swallowing and glass walking.

The Candlelight Award from the Circus Historical Society was presented this year to the Cheeky Monkey Sideshow, for keeping the best traditions of Sideshow alive.

Tyler Fyre, dressed as a pimp going to a funeral, presents the Candlelight Award to the Cheeky Monkey Sideshow, here wearing their civilian costumes. Thrill Kill Jill and little Hank Lightning guard the rear.

Harley Newman returned to the stage to perform some routines. Here he finds himself all tied up by a couple that claims to have no prior knowledge of rope play.

After Harley's act it was time for another award: the Act of the Year. Presented for only the second time ever, it was awarded to Keith Nelson of the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, whose incredible energy and exuberance during his bowl spinning / Kendama blockhead attempt had the entire audience on the edge of their seats. (To see Keith complete the Kendama blockhead, see here.)

Keith made an observation that got to the heart of what the Sideshow Gathering is all about: You want to bring your "A" Game to the Gathering, but in the back of your head you're reluctant to, because you know that the next year, everyone else will also bring your "A" Game! But that's what is so great about the Gathering: different groups from all over the country see what other groups are doing. And they learn and grow, maybe copying this routine here, this bit of patter there, introducing new routines and improving old ones. The Gathering is a fantastic opportunity to learn and to teach, and like Harley Newman, Keith Nelson is a fantastic teacher. If anyone comes to the Gathering next year having absorbed and incorporated some of his energy and exuberance into their routines, everyone will be in a better place as a result.

Next up it was time for Kellan, a performer I had never seen before but who was well-known to many of the other sideshow performers from his behind-the-scenes work. Here he hangs a cinder block by chains connected by carabiners to holes in the lobes of his ears, a cinder block which Alex Doll is about to smash with a sledgehammer while it dangles over his groin.

Kids, feel free to try this at home. Really.

The Doppelganger Circus Sideshow from Detroit took the stage for the second time next. Doc Tor Arcana and Rachel Rampage ran through a different set of routines than they had on Friday night, including the classic "Metamorphosis" routine (apparently a first for the Sideshow Gathering) and another weight-hanging-from-earlobes bit (Rachel with a bowling ball.)

Then it was time for the final act of the weekend, a duo who had never before performed at the Sideshow Gathering, and were performing for the first and only time that weekend. The Scarborough Sideshow was loud, exuberant, over-the-top, and...well, they took every routine right up to the limits of good taste, and the kept right on going. Even things that wouldn't possibly be considered sideshow acts.

Like, say, a Neti Pot drinking fountain...

The Scarborough Sideshow brought down the house, almost literally. Tyler gave his closing remarks amongst the wreckage and rubble on the stage. He expressed gratitude to Franco, hope for the future, and bestowed a touching and beautiful Sideshow Blessing for the coming year.

"The Von Trap Family would say
Farewell, Au Dieu, Auf Wiedersein, Goodbye.
We sideshow folk say,
May you have Sunny Days, Short Jumps, Straw Houses, and Soft Grass. See You Down The Road."*

And that was that. No one was in a hurry to leave. Wet eyes were everywhere, as people made their goodbyes, packed up their stuff, or got ready to break down the room. Uncertainty lingered in the air.

So it was with great excitement that I read this message a few days later from Kim, Franco's widow and now the organizer for Inkin' the Valley and the Sideshow Gathering:

It's Official!! The Inkin' the Valley Tattoo Convention and SideShow Gathering will go on again in 2012!! The Ballroom in The Woodlands Inn & Resort is on reserve. We sincerely want to thank everyone involved and want everyone to know how much appreciated you all are. We look forward to next year and hope to have just as much fun and more. We love you all wish to see everyone again in 2012!!

...and then this:

It's even MORE OFFICIAL! The Inkin' the Valley Tattoo Convnetion & SideShow Gathering will be held on the 2nd, 3rd, & 4th of November 2012!! Mark your calendars and clear your schedules we will be back and even bigger in 2012!

So, there we are. The Sideshow Gathering will be back!

*Added 12/16/2011, courtesy of Tyler Fyre.

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 2

2011-11-11T23:27:00.000-05:00

The second day of the Sideshow Gathering got off to a start bright and early Saturday at 3:00, ran until 7:00, took a break until 9:00, and then got going again, ending with the Sideshow Auction, which ran until 2:00 in the morning!

Before the start of the day's festivities I took some time to look over the many items, old and new, that would be available for bid later that evening. There were photos by Diane Falk, artwork by Ashleigh Talbot, original tattoo flash art by Charon Henning, and even stage-worn thongs that had one year ago graced the nether regions of Tyler Fyre and Magic Brian, plus many, many other items...some of which probably shouldn't be mentioned on the record!

The first act of the day was the Doppelgänger Circus Sideshow, a young duo from Detroit that took its inspiration from Tyler Fyre, and formalized its training at Coney Island. Here Doc Tor Arcana assists Rachel Rampage down the Blade Ladder.

Harley Newman protegé Josh Peters, a.k.a. Josh B'Gosh, gets wrapped in a chain while wearing a straitjacket. Safety first!

Harley Newman lets us see what's on his mind.

Keith Nelson of the Bindlestiff Family Circus brings the abbreviated version of his two-and-a-half hour lecture on the history of tops to a close with a demonstration of tricks with a nine-pound top.

Last year it was a record-setting mass Human Blockhead, with dozens of people onstage simultaneously shoving things up their noses. For this year we were treated to the World's Largest Simultaneous 10-in-1, with more than ten acts being performed onstage at the same time by dozens of performers. Sword swallowers, human blockheads, jugglers, hoopers, a straitjacket escape, strongman acts, the Iron Throat, Harley Newman as the Man Who Can't Be Hanged, Professor Fountain's demonstration of Chapeaugraphy, and many others, all alive and on stage!

Then Fancy Talker Professor Sprocket again told us the remarkable tale of the scientific miracle of Olga Hess, the Headless Woman. See how the amazed public crowds around her headless body, astonished and filled with wonderment!

Up next was the latest incarnation of the Crispy Family Carnival: Acoustic Ross, Tangy Tart, and Mr. Crispy himself, here seen swallowing a sword.

Swallowing an energized neon tube is one of the most insanely dangerous things that you will ever see performed onstage - so insanely dangerous that neon tube manufacturers have gotten wise and routinely refuse any requests to construct anything that can be used in such a way. Much safer is the LED sword which Mr. Crispy is swallowing, which is cooler, will not shatter, and is not filled with toxic chemicals.

Crispy and Tangy Tart begin to dance - barefoot on glass - to Tom Lehrer's Masochism Tango, as played by Acoustic Ross.

Next up was the Knotty Bits Sideshow from Grand Rapids, Michigan. (Michigan was very well represented this year!) Here Sylver Fyre (no relation to Tyler!) whips a carnation held in the mouth of Gwyd the Unusual while sorting out some relationship issues.

The end of the first half of the day came with the presentation of the Franco Kossa Memorial Blow-Off. Plans had been in place from the start for Franco to be present at the 10th Annual Sideshow Gathering one way or another, but at his funeral ThrillKill Jill had a brainstorm: "D'you think we can ding it?" - that is, could the presence of Franco's cremated remains be turned into a way of generating much-needed funds for the Gathering? Well, of course, the answer was "yes!" And so, for a small free-will donation, the gathered crowd was invited to pay tribute to the founder, organizer, and guiding force behind the Gathering, ensconced in a small booth graced by a James Mundie poster featuring Franco and a slightly-modified version of the traditional Sideshow lure: "NOT Alive on the Inside!" The line wrapped halfway around the room.

The second half of the night began with the Olde City Sideshow from Philadelphia. Danny Borneo opened by announcing that, unlike last year, he was not completely drunk, and that he needed a shave - something Martin Ling the Suicide King was only too happy to assist with, with a shower of sparks from a grinding wheel.

After Danny was made presentable, it was time for Reggie Bugmuncher to do her thing. Here she prepares to begin her diet of worms, which she would follow up with some very fresh sushi.

The venue did not allow fire-eating acts, but apparently a loophole allowed for propane torches.

Martin Ling the Suicide King began his bit with some sword swallowing.

He then moved on to the curved katana, which he swallowed while angling his body to accept it. Despite being the Suicide King, he was very nearly the victim of a homicide as Danny Borneo gave him a case of the giggles as he began to swallow the deadly sword.

And then...well, don't try this at home. Or in a performance. Ever.

Martin then did a few other brutal acts, including stopping a fan with his tongue, washing his face in broken glass, and then standing and twisting in the glass. And then jumping in it.

Reggie did her Anatomical Wonder bit, squeezing through a tennis racket. Here she does the Yogi Gut Suck, to make the passage of the racket easier. (I have seen video of someone shoplifting record albums using this trick: he sucked in his gut, filled his abdominal cavity with a stack of albums, pulled his sweatshirt back down over them, and then tried to sneak out of the store.)

The last act of the night was the Cheeky Monkey Sideshow. Here Mab Just Mab swallows balloons to the tune of "99 Luftballoons," which was rechristened "99 Red Balloons" in English. Trinket keeps count. This is number 1.

Sally the Cinch is a member of the troupe I have seen twice at Gatherings but have never seen perform until now. Here she is showing how she earned her name, "cinching" her waist to an incredibly small size.

The Cheeky Monkeys, joined by burlesque dancer and honorary Cheeky Monkey Cherrie Sweetbottom, let their freak flags fly and sign off with a performance their infectious theme song.

The end of the second day's performances saw the beginning of the Sideshow Auction. Items old and new, rare and strange (and in some cases, unknown) were bid on in a fiercely competitive auction. (The quote of the weekend was Alex Doll's "Dammit, Kevin!" as sideshow banner painter Kevin Gerrone bid a coveted item out of her reach.) More fascinating than the items themselves were the stories spun by the old-timers running the auction, especially living legend Al Stencell, shown onstage as Furry Couch (aka Professor Ouch) displays Charon Henning's original artwork of various stylized "10"s created especially for 10th Anniversary Sideshow Gathering commemorative tattoos.

Gradually the pieces were auctioned off, the stories were told, and the Gathering broke up for the night - or, rather, the morning, as it was already 2:00! The final day's festivities would begin before we knew it, and would end before anyone wanted them to.

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 1

2011-11-10T17:17:00.002-05:00

I was going to try to do this all as one post, but there's just too much to say! So I'll break it into posts for each day.

After founder Franco Kossa's death and some other major setbacks earlier this year there was a question as to whether this year's Sideshow Gathering would happen at all. But the decision was made that the show must go on - and it did!

That didn't mean it would go off without a hitch. The night before the show the emcees, Tyler Fyre and Thrill Kill Jill of The Lucky Daredevil Thrillshow, along with their four-month-old son Hank and several hundred pounds of props and gear, found themselves stranded 150 miles south of the venue by a broken-down vehicle. Fortunately rescue was just a few hours behind, and they were all able to make it to the show on time.

The weekend featured many familiar faces from years past, plus a few acts I had never seen before. First up was James "Gentleman Jim" Stilianos, who did an assortment of juggling routines, including one where he juggled machetes while standing on a board balanced on a short length of 10" diameter plastic pipe.

Up next were the Bruise Brothers, who bickered and fought like the brothers they are. Both standing over six feet tall, they were the biggest act of the weekend!

Tyler and Jill did a set as well, where Tyler probably set the record for "most swords swallowed with a baby strapped to your chest." (We believe Jill already has the record for "most swords swallowed with a baby in your belly.") Here Hank seems to be stunned by his father's determination to swallow two swords at once.

Here Hank makes his debut as the world's youngest sword swallower. It's not a sword per se, but rather a binky with a sword handle. And Hank spit it out and sent it rolling across the stage shortly after this picture was taken.

Later Hank did a straitjacket escape, from a hand-knitted baby-sized straitjacket, as used at all baby insane asylums.

Up next was Keith Nelson of the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus. I have read about the Bindlestiffs and was very happy to see that they would be represented at the Gathering. Keith gave an amazing performance, full of energy and enthusiasm, as he ran around at a madcap pace trying to get four bowls spinning on four posts while trying to flip two spoons into two cans and catch a ball in a cup mounted on a spike jammed into his nose; as James Taylor of Shocked & Amazed put it, "The only guy on Planet Earth who can tell you his act is likely to fail, then has it fail, and he gets virtually a standing ovation. Now THAT'S talent."

Next came The Reverend Tommy Gunn, currently the sole ambulatory member of FreakShow Deluxe, who did a series of increasingly dangerous routines to the shouts of "MORE DANGER!" until the confines of the small stage and low ceiling forced him to abandon his whip act after the third time the whip became entangled in his hair, clothing, and props, electing to try something less dangerous and eliciting cries of "LESS DANGER!" from the audience. Here he dangles from chains attached to his nipples what he insists is a solid gold chandelier, coated with bronze to protect the finish.

The penultimate act of the night was a new one for me, The Unholy Sideshow. They did a mix of acts that I have seen done before as well as a few that were new to me. They brought a youthful energy to the show which made me think that they will be interesting to watch in the coming years. As they are relatively local, based in New Hope, PA, I may not have to travel far to see them.

They ended their show with the first burlesque act of the weekend, featuring a lovely young lady who, shall we say, bowled over the crowd.

Fancy Talker Professor Sprocket closed out the first night's festivities with a presentation of Olga Hess, the Headless Wonder. He presented her again on Day 2, so I will include her photos there.

Thus ended the first night of the 10th annual Sideshow Gathering. And there were still two more days to go!

Blogger meet-up November 6

2011-11-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

Shamelessly stolen from here.

via Michelle

....announce the upcoming NEPA Blogger Meet-up. This event will be actually focused around the bloggers…what a novel thought!

We are inviting the usual political suspects, but don't think that many of them will be showing up because of the close proximity to election day. I'm sure that they will be busy vying for last minute votes.

Here are the dirty deets about the event:

The Who/What: NEPABlogs.org will be hosting an informal Blogger Meet-up. Come out and meet the NEPA Blogs (dysfunctional) family. ALL ARE WELCOME. There is no admission or cover charge. It is absolutely 100% free. You have to buy your own drinks though. Unless you serenade me with an off key version of Lady Gaga or something like that.

The When: Sun Nov. 6, 2011 starting at 5pm. Stay until the cows come home….or last call. Whichever comes first.

The Where: The Metro Bar & Grill in Dallas. For directions to the Metro Bar and Grille, please visit: http://www.themetrobarandgrill.com/

***More details here: http://nepablogs.blogspot.com/2011/10/blogger-meet-up.html – We put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

I hope you can stop by and partake in some libations with cool kiddies.

Halloween Tally 2011

2011-10-31T23:05:00.002-04:00

89 trick-or-treaters. No idea on the tonnage of candy moved. That number is little more than half of the 170 kids I had last time I gave out candy, back in 2009.

I wasn't expecting to be able to do this tonight. I was scheduled to work tonight, but the busy season seems to be winding down, and as a temp I'm among the first to get laid off. So I had the day free, and found myself without candy. Target came through - they've been my primary candy source for the past few years, great selection of quality stuff at reasonable prices. Reviewing my 2009 post I see I passed out animal crackers to the infants, which would have been a good idea this time. We all know that the parents get their candy anyway, so may as well provide something for the babies. I'll have to remember that for next year.

I got to my house a little after 6:00 and the streets were already full of kids. I think I probably missed a few dozen between 5:30 and 6:00. I set myself up on my rocking bench with a punchbowl full of candy, another punchbowl-full in reserve, my tally counter, a phone, and a pseudo-Snuggie to wear on top of my coat.

Damn, it was cold. Most of the snow from this Saturday's storm has already melted, but temperatures certainly dropped after sundown. I don't know if the kids noticed it, since they were dressed up and moving. But sitting on my porch, I sure felt it.

There were only two other houses on my block that I could tell were passing out candy, and one of them seemed to be having a party - a lot of the kids who went there, stayed there. As the evening wore on I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch and started to dip into the punchbowl for the occasional Snickers, Twix, Mr. Goodbar, Almond Joy, or Starburst. By 7:30 traffic had dwindled to the point that I decided that I would shut things down at 8:00. A few more kids and their parents showed up at 7:45, but by 7:55, with 74 kids having come and gone and the night getting colder, I couldn't stand it anymore. I dumped the remaining candy into a bag, carried the punchbowl, tally counter, phone, and fake Snuggie into the house, reset my alarm, and prepared to leave.

I immediately realized as I closed and locked the door that I had forgotten to turn my porch light off. Then I saw more groups of kids approaching like hungry zombies. I passed out candy quickly to ten more kids, then dashed inside to get my tally counter. A final group of teenagers arrived at the end, including one buxom brunette wearing an ill-fitting blonde wig and a barely-fitting replica of Marilyn Monroe's halter-top dress from "The Seven Year Itch" - one false move or quick turn and she would have been having a Coming Out Party. She was #89 for the night.

By 8:05 the streets were vacant again, so I re-opened the house, disabled the alarm, shut out the light, re-activated the alarm, locked up the house again, and headed out to the car. On the drive back across town - where I saw dozens of kids still on the streets - I realized I had left a bag containing all the empty bags from candy slung over the back of my rocking bench. So I drove back across town to retrieve it. Several groups of kids looked my way hopefully, but I just grabbed the bag-of-bags and headed back to the car.

I had two Luigis for the night, but no Marios or Warios. One of the most popular outfits for girls seemed to be "slightly older teenagers." Two girls showed up in wigs (I think they were wigs) with heavy makeup and lip rings. "Are those real piercings?" I asked. "No!" they responded, seemingly aghast at the thought.

Only one group of kids showed unbridled greed - I was trying to pass out three pieces of candy to each kid, figuring if I had 500 pieces total and got 170 kids like last time that would be just about enough. Some little kids got extras, or wanted to pick their own. One mixed group of kids ranging from about two to seven years old came up. I gave candy to the older kids first, but the youngest one wanted to take his own, and I let him - which the older kids took as a signal to take their own, too. After one kid grabbed half a dozen pieces I suggested he might want to leave some for the other kids.

I suppose if it had been a bit warmer, more kids might have been out. Maybe if I had gotten an earlier start, or had stayed out later, or had more neighbors passing out candy, I would have gotten more kids. Whatever. I guess I'll just have to eat the leftovers!

October Surprise 2011

2011-10-31T06:00:00.013-04:00

What happens when a late flush of roses meets an early snow? This.

Royal Highness rosebush, Nanticoke, PA, October 29, 2011.

When it was all over, we had about six inches of wet, slushy snow - much more in higher elevations. And once again, thousands of people lost power. That's starting to become a running theme with extreme weather situations.

2011 visitor's guide for people attending the Sideshow Gathering

2011-10-30T13:46:00.001-04:00

Once again, this is just something I'm putting together, and is in no way endorsed by the Sideshow Gathering or any of the businesses mentioned.

I think everything I talked about in this post last year is still valid. If you're looking to get something to eat, some Starbucks coffee, looking to buy books, or chocolate, or music, or need to go to the hospital, you can follow those directions.

Another Monkey: A visitor's guide for people attending the Sideshow Gathering (2010)

However, there were several omissions I need to take care of:

BEER, WINE, and LIQUOR: Folks from outside of Pennsylvania may find themselves confused by Pennsylvania's arcane liquor laws. (Even people from Pennsylvania find them confusing!)

Bottles of wine and liquor are sold only in state-owned stores, formerly called "State Stores" but now generally called "Wine and Spirits Shoppes." The closest one is technically located at 2136 WILKES-BARRE TWP, WILKES-BARRE, PA 18702-0000, but it might be easier to just look for the Wilkes-Barre Township Marketplace, the plaza that contains Walmart, Cracker Barrel, Starbucks, and several other stores. It's there, conveniently located next to the Chuck E. Cheese. ("You kids go and have a good time, daddy needs to do some shopping...")

To get there from the Woodlands:
- Turn left (south/west) on 315
- Take 315 about one mile until it becomes Business 309
- Take Business 309 about one mile
- Make a left on Mundy Street and follow for about a half mile (this is actually the second intersection with Mundy Street; you can get there by following the first, but then you will make a left in the next two instructions)
- Make a right on Highland Park Boulevard and follow for about half a mile
- Wilkes-Barre Township Marketplace and Starbucks will be on your right

Beer is sold in cases only at beer distributors, and in smaller quantities elsewhere. Many places that sell prepared food are also allowed to sell beer by the six-pack, and I believe the law limits purchases to two six-packs at a time. Beer by the six-pack can be purchased at most pizza places and delis, though a wide selection can also be bought at Wegman's supermarket at 220 Highland Park Boulevard. (To get there, follow directions above to Wilkes-Barre Township Marketplace, but continue past the marketplace on Highland Park Boulevard and make a right at the traffic light in front of Wegman's. You can also access Wegman's directly from Business Route 309.) You can also get a huge selection of local beers by the six-pack (including make-your-own mix-and-match) at the Georgetown Deli next to the Giant Cow on 309, 720 Wilkes-Barre Township Boulevard. For an excellent selection of beer by the case (because, really, when is 12 bottles adequate?) continue just past the Georgetown Deli to Wychock's Beverage at the Four Keys Plaza, 730 Wilkes-Barre Township Boulevard. (Other beer distributors are nearby, but feature only pedestrian brands.)

HARBOR FREIGHT TOOLS: Ses Carny called it "A sideshow performer's shopping center," and that sounds about right. The nearest one is located at 1074 WYOMING AVE (Route 11), Wyoming PA, 18644. Unfortunately, this is about six miles away from the Woodlands, and getting there can be tricky.

Simplified directions:
- Turn left on 315
- Turn right onto 309 North (NOT Business Route 309)
- Turn right onto Route 11 East (follow signs carefully for the first few hundred feet)
- Take Route 11 to the MIDWAY SHOPPING CENTER
- Harbor Freight is to the left of the center of the parking lot

Complex directions (adapted from Google):
1. Turn left on PA-315 S toward Motorworld Dr
2. Turn right to merge onto PA-309 N - 2.7 mi
3. Take exit 4 toward US-11/Kingston/Forty Fort - 0.3 mi
4. Turn right onto Rutter Ave - 256 ft
5. Keep left at the fork - 92 ft
6. Continue onto Welles St - 0.4 mi
7. Turn right onto Wyoming Ave - Destination will be on the left - 2.1 mi

Coming back is a little trickier:

1. Head west on Wyoming Ave toward Stites St - 2.1 mi
2. Turn left onto Welles St - 0.4 mi
3. Welles St turns slightly right and becomes Rutter Ave - 0.2 mi
4. Turn left to merge onto PA-309 S - 2.4 mi
5. Take exit 1 for Pennsylvania 309 Business S toward Pennsylvania 315 N/Dupont/Wilkes-Barre - 0.3 mi
6. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for PA-315 N - 331 ft
7. Turn left onto PA-309 BUS N - 0.2 mi
8. Continue onto PA-315 N - 0.5 mi
9. Turn right -Destination will be on the right - 62 ft.

There is also a HOME DEPOT on Business Route 309 in Wilkes-Barre (technically 41 Spring Street) and a LOWES in the same plaza as Barnes & Noble (see last year's directions.)

If there's any other sort of place or thing people would like directions to, please let me know!

The Sideshow Gathering 2011 is coming!

2011-10-30T00:23:00.004-04:00

A decade ago, Franco Kossa presented the people of Northeastern Pennsylvania with a gift. To his already-established Inkin' the Valley Tattoo Convention, he added an amazing side offering: the Sideshow Gathering, a one-of-a-kind gathering of sideshow performers from all over the country - held in, of all places, Wilkes-Barre, PA! Since that time Franco has persevered to present this area with what I have called an annual once -in-a-lifetime event, as an ever-changing array of sideshow performers and members of what is known as "the variety arts" gather to swap stories, put on shows, and mingle with fans and each other in a way that simply isn't possible throughout the performing year.

This year marks two milestones: it is the Tenth Annual Sideshow Gathering, and it is the first Sideshow Gathering to be held without Franco at the helm. Franco passed away earlier this year, and management duties passed on to his widow, Kim.

The Sideshow Gathering is being held this year on November 4, 5, and 6 at the Woodlands in Plains Township, PA, just outside of Wilkes-Barre, as it has been held for the last several years. For full details and a roster of performers, see the official press release here.

Text from the press release:

CONTACTS: Kim Kossa (855-570-4653) or Jill Fisher Fleet (202-459-1148)
LOCATION: The Woodlands Inn & Resort, 1073 Route 315, Wilkes-Barre PA
WEBSITE: www.thesideshowgathering.com

THE SHOW MUST GO ON:

10TH ANNUAL SIDESHOW GATHERING

CONTINUES AS TRIBUTE TO DECEASED FOUNDER

FRANCO KOSSA’S LEGACY CARRIED FORWARD BY ENTERTAINERS

WILKES-BARRE PA – The Annual Sideshow Gathering — the world's only sideshow convention — returns to northeastern Pennsylvania with its unique and shocking blend of weird, wonderful, and wacky entertainment. From November 4th through 6th, the strange takes center stage when showmen and genuine sideshow freaks from across the country descend on Wilkes-Barre's The Woodlands Inn & Resort to celebrate the giddy thrills of the carnival sideshow. Over the course of three days, many of today's best sideshow performers will walk on glass, swallow swords, eat light bulbs, put hooks in their eyes, attempt to break a world record for the largest simultaneous ten-in-one sideshow, and otherwise risk bodily harm for the sake of twisted entertainment. The Sideshow Gathering is the premier networking event for performers, fans, collectors, and historians. The Sideshow Gathering has steadily drawn increased attendance year after year, and is an unsurpassed weekend of gasps and laughs.

This year, the Sideshow Gathering’s 10th anniversary, is especially poignant as it also marks the passing of its founder Franco Kossa, who died suddenly last May. With Franco’s tragic death the future of the Sideshow Gathering looked uncertain, but a dedicated group of friends, performers, and volunteers have worked steadily to ensure the event will continue this year in grand style. “Franco himself will be present, in spirit and body,” said artist James Mundie, who has designed a special memorial banner to be unveiled at the Sideshow Gathering. “Franco’s ashes will preside over the event, and patrons will have a unique opportunity on Friday night to ‘visit’ with them. I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s perfectly appropriate for this event and Franco would have loved it.”

Attractions at the 10th Annual Sideshow Gathering will include:

The weekend's emcees, Tyler Fyre and Thrill Kill Jill of The Lucky Daredevil Thrillshow — named “Best Sideshow Duo” by Washington City Paper; FreakShow Deluxe, Hollywood's own and only carnival-style sideshow; Coney Island Chris, the hilarious one-man ten-in-one seen on America's Got Talent; Philadelphia's Olde City Sideshow, featuring Danny Borneo, Martin Ling the Suicide King, Reggie Bügmüncher and special guest GiGi Holliday of Baltimore's Sticky Buns Burlesque; the incomparable Harley Newman, professional lunatic; Cheeky Monkey Sideshow, featuring Swami Yomahmi, Sally the Cinch, Mab Just Mab, and tantalizing guest Cherríe Sweetbottom; Keith Bindlestiff, co-founder of the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus and alter-ego of presidential candidate Kinko the Clown; Knotty Bits Sideshow, and many more! Additionally, vendors such as Col. Hunsley's Freaks and Oddities and James Taylor's Shocked and Amazed! will display genuine freak animals, memorabilia, rare books, and original show banners. Step right up to the Sideshow Gathering for a weekend of entertainment and diversion you will never forget!

Concurrent with the 18th Annual Inkin' The Valley tattoo convention at Wilkes-Barre's The Woodlands Inn & Resort, the Sideshow Gathering begins at 3:00 PM on Friday, November 4th, with live sideshow performances starting at 5:00 PM. The convention floor opens again at noon and performances will resume from 3:00 to 6:00 PM and 10:00 to 11:00 PM on Saturday, followed by a special auction of original art and rare carnival and circus items. On Sunday, there will be encore performances from 2:00 to 5:00 PM. Admission for the entire weekend is only $15.

"Legacy isn't the first word that comes to mind when you think of sword swallowers and fire eaters and people who eat broken glass,” said James Taylor, publisher of the journal Shocked and Amazed! On & Off the Midway and someone who has attended the Sideshow Gathering from the beginning, “but it was for the late Franco Kossa when he created the annual Sideshow Gathering, and that yearly convention has shown for a decade that Kossa's heart was in the right place when he had legacy in mind. Hey, I told him not to do the Gathering when he first came to me about it, and his reaction was perfect: ‘Yeah, but...’ And he did it. We're all in debt to him."

Ten years ago, tattoo business owner Franco Kossa wanted to add sideshow entertainment to his annual convention, Inkin’ the Valley. These art forms shared a common history, so it seemed an ideal pairing. “Tattooed people have been exhibits forever,” Kossa said. &lqduo;Sideshow history and tattoo history are conjoined.” However, at the time the popular acceptance of tattooing was on the rise while sideshow was on the decline. It was while talking with legendary showman Ward Hall, co-owner of the World of Wonders, about the wholesale disappearance of sideshows from America’s fairgrounds that Franco hit upon the idea of starting a convention for sideshow performers. The idea was that for one weekend a year showmen and carnies from across the country could gather to ‘cut up jackpots’. It would be like the old showman’s clubs, but the public would also be invited in. From those humble beginnings, the Sideshow Gathering – the world’s only sideshow convention – was born and in time became a much anticipated annual calendar event for veteran showfolk and a training ground for the next generation. Tim O’Brien of Ripley’s Entertainment and Ripley Radio said, “I come every year to find new talent for Ripley’s. This place is a cornucopia of oddities and bizarre acts!”

“Frank was a generous and loving man who created for this group of people a haven where once a year we could gather… to share the love of our different lifestyle, and our respect for one another,” said Ward Hall, who was himself once honored by Franco Kossa at the Sideshow Gathering with an Ambassador of Wonder Award for his many decades in the sideshow industry. “Through his compassion for those who wished to present themselves to the world in unusual ways, Frank provided a method for us to gather together and get to know him and each other as no one else was ever able to do… I expect that he is now working to assemble a Sideshow Gathering in Heaven for all our people who have gone on before us.”

Kossa’s dedication to this art form has proven that public interest in sideshow is in fact alive and well. Over the years, the Sideshow Gathering has attracted a great deal of media attention – especially for the world records that were set there for mass sword swallowing and human blockhead – and attendance has steadily increased year after year. The 2010 incarnation of the event was the most successful to date, and seemed to indicate that the 10th anniversary in 2011 would be its best year yet. But then in early May 2011, Franco Kossa suddenly died and the fate of his beloved event seemed to be in jeopardy. Franco Kossa’s widow, Kim, was left with mounting debts and a considerable ‘nut’ to cover for Inkin’ the Valley. If the Sideshow Gathering was going to continue, it was going to need help. “The Sideshow Gathering for Franco meant bringing something he loved to his home town and sharing it with those around him,” said Kim Kossa. “Cost didn't matter, he just wanted to share the fun. It also was about bringing like minds together. Sideshow acts are on the road so much, they rarely get a chance to see other acts and be among their peers.” Like a big extended family, friends and volunteers stepped in to lend a hand, the most visible effort being several benefit performances held during mid-October in Washington DC and Baltimore under the name “Seismic Sideshow” that helped raise much needed funds to cover the expenses of putting on Franco’s creation.

“I believe in the afterlife here on Earth,” said Tyler Fyre of the Lucky Daredevil Thrillshow, “that a person lives on through the deeds they did, the lives they touched, and the legacy they leave. Franco lives on through the Sideshow Gathering, and by bringing us all together each year his legacy will live forever.”

Don't miss it!

This is disconcerting

2011-10-26T02:01:00.001-04:00

I've been back at work on a temporary basis since the end of September. The schedule I'm working is called a "4x4": Four twelve-hour nights of work, followed by four days off. (The first day off doesn't really count because you spend most of it unconscious.)

If you sit down with a calendar and try to fit this eight-day schedule into a seven-day week you'll find something interesting and counter-intuitive: this schedule results in four calendar weeks in a row with four nights of work in them. followed by four calendar weeks in a row with three nights of work. Any work rotation that begins on a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday will have four consecutive nights of work in it. Weeks that begin on Thursday will have three consecutive nights of work, plus one night (Sunday) spilling over into the next week. The next rotation will only contain Friday and Saturday in that same week, giving three non-consecutive nights of work for the week. The following week will have Sunday and Monday spilling over from the previous rotation, plus Saturday from the next rotation. The next week will have spill-over days of Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and the next rootation will begin on Sunday of the next week.

Any calendar week with four nights of work is worth 52 hours of pay - 40 hours "straight time", plus 8 hours at "time and a half", the equivalent of 12 hours of pay. Any calendar week with three days in it only pays 36 hours straight time. Additional days over the first four are worth 18 hours each - 12 hours at time-and a half. Thus, for three days you get 36 hours pay; four days, 52; five days, 70, six days, 88, and the Holy Grail - seven sonsecutive days in one week - is worth 106 hours of pay, for a mere 84 hours of work.

After some annoyance with getting a new security badge (which didn't happen until the second day of my second rotation) I began signing up for as much overtime as I could get. In my first calendar week I worked just my four scheduled days. In my second week I worked my scheduled days plus one of overtime, for a 70 hour paycheck. In my third week I worked six consecutive days, my four scheduled plus an overtime day at the beginning and the end - but only five of those days were in one calendar week (for another 70 hour pay) and one was in the next calendar week. My fourth week - the most recent one - I had the one overtime day from the previous rotation, but was not able to get overtime for the day before our rotation. So I worked three scheduled days plus one of overtime, for a four day, 52 hour pay.

I had hoped to get back into the swing of things this calendar week, with one scheduled spillover day from the previous rotation (Sunday night), two nights of overtime (Monday and Tuesday), and then two more scheduled days (Friday and Saturday) for another five-day, 70 hour pay.

Unfortunately, my overtime was cancelled for both Monday and Tuesday nights, leaving me with a measly three-day, 36-hour pay.

OK. Fine. I've been running hard. I could use a break, right?

As I said, usually your first day off when you're working twelve-hour nights is a wate - you wind up sleeping most of the day, or zombified. But usually you can snap back into what I call the "daywalking lifestyle" by your second day off. Or, at least, I used to be able to.

I slept yesterday from about 9:00 in the morning to about 1:45 in the afternoon. I was up, fatigued but conscious. Stayed at home. Paid a stack of bills. Back in bed by 3:00 AM. Up again just after 8:00 AM to verify that the message I had heard the night before about my overtime being cancelled hadn't changed. Stayed in bed until after 9:00. Gathered myself together, got a start on the day. Out of the house by noon to go grocery shopping. Back by 2:00. Unload the groceries, quick change of clothes, then out of the house just after 3:00 to get to WBRE for PA Live! to do the 90-second NEPA Blogs Blog of the Week segment. Do it, elect to hang out at the show until the end and get a slice of sweet potato pie. Find myself falling asleep as I wait.

I parked at Boscov's. Parking there is $2.00 for the first three hours, or free if you buy something worth $2.00. I picked up a buckwheat hot/cold pad for $1.99 and an viricidal spray for $0.29, got my ticket stamped, and headed home.

I drove home, noticing all the pretty girls from the Wilkes University track team jogging all over Wilkes-Barre. Pulled up to the house as Soundgarden's "Burden In My Hand" came on the radio. Decided to sit through the song in the car. Picked up the viricidal spray and began to read the instructions on the back.

...and realized I could not make it through a single sentence without experiencing hypnagogic hallucinations. Woolgathering, so to speak. My mind was making things up, words and phrases that simply weren't there, as I was falling asleep with each sentence.

I realized I had to get out of the car soon or I was going to wind up sleeping there.

I came in the house and had something to eat. Thought I woke up a bit. Then I went on Facebook and wrote this:

Having a very hard time adjusting to daywalking. I think I like working overtime not just because of the money, but because it gives me an excuse to be disoriented for a day or two. With four consecutive days off, I fear I might resume aa daywalkiiiinh schhhedduule

That last sentence was supposed to read "...I fear I might resume a daywalking schedule, only to have to suddenly switch back to night shift when I go back to work." Only, as you can see, I began to fall asleep as I was writing it, with my fingers lingering on each key too long.

After midnight tonight I began to rouse again. It's now close to 2:00 AM and I think I'll head to bed.

I'm wondering if I am no longer capable of easily transitioning between being awake at night and being awake during the day. At work I have no problem staying awake: the place is brightly lit and full of sounds, things to do and things to check - a very stimulating environment. I could run all night on pure adrenaline, but I realize I need some food in my system for the drive home.

So is my body stuck on night shift? Can I function properly during the day anymore? Or will I find myself falling asleep the moment I become under-stimulated?

OCCUPY NANTICOKE, OCCUPY NEPA

2011-10-20T12:07:00.003-04:00

I've been trying to follow along the Occupy Wall Street movement as best I can. As far as I can tell, this is a genuine, grassroots expression of public discontent with the status quo. It is largely disorganized and leaderless. Its biggest criticism is that it has no single, coherent message: not like the demonstrations in Tahrir Square in Egypt, where the goal was the removal of President-for-Life Hosni Mubarak and the establishment of s democratic state, nor like the Tea Party, whose goal is the removal of democratically elected President Barack Obama and the establishment of a Republican state.

Still, some themes are emerging from Occupy Wall Street. The economy is a mess, and people want elected leaders to work to fix that - not work to block any possible improvements for fear they might actually benefit the incumbent. People want jobs that pay decent wages, not the ongoing destruction of the middle class while the wealthiest 1% gets ever richer at the expense of the other 99%.

The "Occupy" movement has moved beyond Wall Street. It's moved into cities all over the country. People are pissed off, and they don't want anyone to pretend or imagine that all is well, that things are just fine the way they are. Naturally, there's been some push-back from the people who benefit from the status quo, and from their toadies and allies and sycophants.

Occupy Nanticoke would mean...something else.

Nanticoke has all the problems the rest of the country has, but worse. We're well ahead of the curve when it comes to economic devastation. Decades ago a decision was made that Nanticoke would be primarily a residential community, not a community focused on commerce or industry. As the coal mines and cigar mills and garment mills shut down, no new industries moved into the city. As the industries shut down, the businesses did too. The Leader Store and Leventhal's, Woolworth's and J.S. Raub Shoes, clothing stores and sundries shops, all closed their doors between the 1970's and 1990's. Our two hardware stores closed and were torn down, as was our decades-old theater, which had been closed since the early 1980's but was not torn down for about fifteen years. (When the wrecking ball hit the State Theater the first time, it bounced off.) The long-vacant Duplin Mill was turned into a skating rink and bowling alley in the late 1970's, and burned down in the early 1990's. It remains a burned-out hulk, repurposed for a time as a marijuana-growing operation a few years ago, until someone noticed that the property wasn't zoned for agricultural purposes.

(And the banks closed, too. Nanticoke was once famous for its many large, granite banks. Now one of them is a shuttered pawn shop. One or two have come back as smaller, less opulent banks housed within the shells of the old banks. The rest have been torn down.)

Nanticoke was reimagined decades ago as a bedroom community: people would come here to sleep, but would work and shop and play somewhere else. And many of the children of those who came here to sleep decided to move away the first chance they got, leaving older and older sleepers behind, until they died in their beds - or, more often, in strange and lonely beds in hospitals or nursing homes.

Now Nanticoke is a city filled with vacant houses. Well, not all vacant: some are being rented out to drug dealers, or being used as crack houses or meth labs. Not all industry and commerce has left the city.

But many of the best and brightest have. There are no jobs around here, not any that pay a decent living wage. The ceiling on most wages in this area is $10 an hour - and that's in Northeastern Pennsylvania, not just Nanticoke, where there really aren't any jobs to be had, outside of the schools and the hospital and a few machine shops that haven't moved away yet. While this is well above the minimum wage (currently $7.25 an hour), it still translates into an annual pre-tax pre-deduction income of only $20,800, assuming fifty-two forty-hour weeks.* In what decade was that a living wage? (When I asked this question of an employment professional, he replied that that is why so many people have second jobs.)

This has all resulted in an increasingly aging population of retirees and social security recipients generating little or no income ("Occupation") tax for the city. Most taxes are property taxes and school taxes (which go to the school district, not the city, which goes to pay for the education of students in the Greater Nanticoke Area, whose boundaries extend far outside the city itself.) Many vacant houses, many old people, and an increasing population of resident drug dealers and manufacturers. Vacant houses make a tempting target for scrappers who treat the houses as copper mines, just loaded with copper and iron pipes (and sometimes brass fixtures and aluminum siding) that can be removed and sold to one of the many scrapyards that dot the outskirts of this area. (Business is booming at these places, especially the ones who don't ask too many questions about where the latest load of copper pipes came from.)

There is a vicious cycle at work, in Nanticoke and in all of Northeastern PA. Fewer and fewer good jobs are available. More and more of the population leaves the area for greener pastures. Those left behind are either unwilling or unable to move, or have decided to stay and work for a better future, or have decided to stay and exploit the decrepit present. Houses become vacant. The tax base shrinks, the population dwindles, employers leave the area, and new employers stay away and fail to fill the void. Even fewer good jobs are available. More of the population decides to leave. More houses become vacant. The tax base shrinks. More employers decide to pack up and move away.

There's a way out, I think. But it's not easy.

Elected officials need to step up and work to attract businesses to the area. With a dwindling population, this doesn't seem easy. But we do have a secret weapon: schools. Colleges. Universities. They actually count as one of the largest employers in this area, and the student population is a significant fraction of the residents of any area in which a college or university is based. These students come here from all over, from Northeastern Pennsylvania and Southeastern Pennsylvania and New Jersey and New York and even points beyond. But they don't stay here; as soon as they get their degrees they get the hell out of the area and go to where the jobs are. If the jobs were here, some of them might stay. Maybe. If the jobs were here.

Unfortunately, the newly-elected Republican governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Corbett, has made a single industry his top priority: gas drilling. He wants to see Pennsylvania become the Texas of the natural gas industry; so apparently he dreams of a devastated landscape, an environmental ruin brought on by unregulated industrial exploitation, where wildfires race across the the state annually. And its not like the state would see any direct benefit from the gas extraction industry: to make the state more attractive to drillers, he has taken a strong stance against any taxation of gas extraction. Any economic benefit from gas drilling would have to come from revenue generated by income taxes on workers, and sales taxes on products purchased by people employed by the industry, and business taxes on businesses that expand to serve the industry.

But this support is fairly exclusive. Support for alternative energy investment by the state has gone away. No energy is being put into attracting other industries to this area. And other Republican politicians, elected in the wave of anti-incumbency that swept across the nation last November, have not bucked Corbett's lead.

Those of us who live in Northeastern Pennsylvania know where economic monocropping leads. Throughout the first half of the 20th century, we were one of the most important sources of anthracite coal in the world. Most of the people of the Wyoming Valley were employed by the coal industry. Coal mines were everywhere, even where you couldn't see them, even where they shouldn't have been. Much of this area is literally "undermined" by abandoned coal miles, much to the surprise of the Army Corps of Engineers, who declared during the September flood that this is some of the most complex topography that they have ever had to deal with, with floodwaters suddenly vanishing into mines unexpectedly - and suddenly popping out of mines elsewhere unexpectedly. Giant culm banks still cover the landscape. Mine fires dot the region, impossible to extinguish by conventional means. Mine subsidences occasionally suck up parts of houses, or even whole houses. Individual homeowners are responsible for carrying their own mine subsidence insurance. The coal mining companies moved away long ago and disclaimed all responsibility for the consequences of their actions. And when coal mining in this area came to an abrupt end on January 22, 1959, the economic monocrop went away - as did the primary source of income for the area.

Regardless of whether the people of Pennsylvania ignore this lesson or not, we need jobs in this area. Relying on a single industry is foolish and shortsighted in the extreme. And the gas industry is not exactly the sort of industry that would persuade college students to remain in the area. So let's imagine that maybe some politicians get a clue and decide to work to bring other jobs to the area. What next?

Well, now these people will need places to live. In areas where the gas industry is "booming," such as Wyoming County, this is actually a problem: all available housing has filled up with roughnecks and drillers and truck drivers and other employees that the gas drillers have brought with them from out of state.** So when locals in these areas found their homes wiped out by the September floods, they also discovered that there was nowhere in the area where they could stay. No vacancy. And even if there were, the prices had inflated to a level the market could bear, with rental rates set at what people in the gas drilling industry could afford - not what suddenly flooded-out locals could afford.

Nanticoke has housing. Vacant houses by the score. Granted, some of them need some work. Some of them need a lot of work, especially ones where all the copper water pipes and iron gas pipes and copper electrical wiring and aluminum siding have been cut out and torn out and torn off and sold to scrap-metal merchants. In these cases it might be better to tear down the houses and connect the empty lots to nearby un-ransacked buildings, making them more attractive to potential buyers who might prefer to have spacious yards.

New residents, residents with jobs, and incomes, incomes in excess of ten dollars an hour, will help increase the local tax base. As the tax base grows, the city's coffers will fill. More improvements will take place, perhaps expansions of the fire and police departments. Perhaps more time will be invested by the police in identifying and removing drug dealers and crack houses and meth labs. As these places are shut down and removed, property values will rise. The desirability of property will rise. Fewer people will feel compelled to abandon Nanticoke to seek a better life elsewhere, More people will make the decision to move into Nanticoke to snatch up some extremely affordable housing.

And maybe stores and businesses will return to downtown Nanticoke, providing even more jobs and even more tax income.

It's not a pipe dream. There are plans to make it happen, although from another direction entirely - an approach which in no way precludes this one. I've been asked to be a part of the group investigating this possibility, and I have said yes. That approach, however, is a downtown-centered one, one which will begin to rebuild the downtown of Nanticoke independent of the rest of the city, or the region. It's a good vision, and one that could work.

But my dream is broader in scope. Bring back jobs to this area. Jobs that pay well. Convince college graduates to stay in the area. Provide them with highly affordable housing. Build the tax base. Drive out the druggies. Bring up property values.

And not just in Nanticoke. This approach is necessary for all of NEPA. It's something that a boom-town economy from a natural gas rush won't provide sustainably. It requires effort by elected officials to bring jobs and employers to this area. It requires a lot of courage and resolve from the residents of Nanticoke to stand and fight rather than to run off to greener pastures. It requires persuasive efforts to convince the best and brightest not to abandon the area. And it requires determination from police officials to crack down on the drug problem that's been allowed to flourish unchallenged.

For years - decades - the trend has been to vacate Nanticoke, vacate NEPA. Abandon it to the criminals and scumbags and druggies. It's time for us to reverse this trend.

Occupy Nanticoke.

Occupy NEPA.

* Minimum wage will get you $15,080 a year. Good luck living on that.

**Yes, that's another fun aspect of gas drilling: it provides jobs - but not to locals. Instead the jobs go to trained workers from out of state, many of whom have homes and families out of state, many of whom send a significant portion of their paychecks back out of state - so once again, Pennsylvania sees very little economic benefit.

Where I've been

2011-10-19T15:50:00.003-04:00

When last I posted, more than two weeks ago, I noted that I had recently returned to work on a temporary basis. While my classification is "Temporary / Casual Employee," this doesn't mean that I'm working less than full-time hours (though without the benefits that would accrue to a full-time worker.) In fact, I'm working more hours than I was in the weeks before I was laid off last December. And, for various reasons, the days are longer, too.

I was brought back to my old job as a DVD Mold/Bond operator at what is, on the surface, an increased rate of pay. Since it does not include benefits, any actual calculation of my bottom line has to take into consideration the amount I am spending on insurance and other expenses. Overtime is virtually unlimited, so I am taking as much as I can handle. How much exactly that amounts to is something I am working out every day.

My first rotation on I worked four twelve-hour nights. Monday night through Thursday night, and then took my four days off to take part in the Pages & Places Book Festival in Scranton. After four days off, I then worked another four-night rotation, Tuesday night through Friday night, and added on two nights of overtime: one on Saturday night after the end of that rotation, and one on Tuesday night before the beginning of the third rotation. This gave me two days off, though the first day is spent almost completely in a state of recovery and adjustment, considering that I have just gotten out of work that morning. My third rotation consisted of six consecutive days, Tuesday (the overtime day), then Wednesday through Saturday of my regular rotation, then Sunday night as overtime. I tried to also get Wednesday night before my fourth rotation, but it was unavailable. So now my next rotation will be Thursday through Sunday nights. Maybe I'll be able to tack on overtime for Monday and Tuesday nights, too.

After the major layoffs at the end of last year and the beginning of this year, the plant went through some reconfigurations. The most significant one to the employees was the closure of the front parking lot. While this produces what I have hiply dubbed "bad optics" - a major factory with a completely empty lot out front - it also means that all employees are packed into a deep, narrow, three-tiered parking lot in back, resulting in much longer walks to and from cars at the the beginning and end of the day, almost all involving flights of steps. This is a significant consideration for production workers who have been on their feet and running for the previous twelve hours.

My typical work day goes something like this: out of the house between 5:00 (ideally) to 5:08 (this is the most typical time for me to leave, based on observations.) Crawl through the school zone and down the hill to Main Street. Get on the Sans Souci Parkway and take the exit for Route 29. Take Route 29 to Interstate 81, optimally getting on 81 by 5:14. Continue along 81, passing the last Wilkes-Barre exit by 5:20 and the Pittston exit by 5:24. Hit the Montage Mountain bottleneck at 5:30 and stop. This bottleneck is the result of poor highway planning; an increased number of office buildings (mostly call centers and insurance agencies) have located in the new developments at Montage over the past ten years, and many of them release their workers onto 81 between 5:00 and 5:30. This sudden increase in volume on an already-crowded highway results in a choke-point that lasts two or three miles between the Montage and Scranton exits, which are also choked with construction. Highway traffic travels between 5 and 35 miles per hour for this stretch. Once we have moved past Scranton, traffic moves freely once again. Assuming no additional delays, I arrive at work - at the parking lot at work - no later than 5:48. Then the next phase of my commute begins.

I leave the car and begin my trek to the building. This is about a five minute walk, faster at the beginning of the rotation, slower after a few nights of work have left me sore. We are not allowed to punch in earlier than 5:53, so if I manage to hit the first time clock before then I just keep moving until I get to the next one. As a temporary worker I don't have a permanent home, so I stop at the supervisor's office to get my assignment - usually a set of presses on the far end of the building. I then begin the long hike across the huge plant, hoping to get to the presses by 6:00 so I can get a turnover.

From 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM I work. Changing stampers, pulling spindles of discs, responding to alarms, running tests, making adjustments, getting techs for assistance, cleaning dirty stampers, running across the plant to get new stampers when necessary, keeping the area clean. Some days are rougher than others. Changing stampers I don't mind so much anymore, but the alarms get to you after a while, especially when all the techs are busy with other things.

You're entitled, technically, to a 30-minute lunch and two 10 (or is it 15?)-minute breaks. It doesn't really matter; no one has time for breaks anymore, and the most that you can hope for is a few minutes off your feet, and maybe a chance to drink some water or grab a snack. Most people eat lunch at their machines, since there's really nobody left to cover for you when you go to lunch. I aim to take lunch between 2:00 AM and 4:00 AM, but most nights that doesn't happen. Lately I've been wolfing down meals between alarms at about 5:00 in the morning. One day last week I ate lunch between 5:59 AM and 6:04 AM, while shouting out a list of issues to my day-shift replacement. In any event, you must be punched out by 6:07 AM. I usually punch out at a clock near to my machines, and then begin the long hike out of the plant and through the parking lot.

I'm typically ready to roll at 6:20 AM or so, having consumed a can of diet cola and the first of several apples for the ride home. I will take a second apple once I hit Pittston, and crack open a second can of diet cola as I get onto route 29, which is also when I begin a third apple if I need it. I need to be awake and alert when I get to Nanticoke, because my commute now takes me through an active school zone, complete with crossing guards and little kids crossing the road.

I get to my mom's house at 7:00 AM, run to the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face, and pick up the neighbor's cocker spaniel that we've been dogsitting. I will walk him a bit, then take him back to my car. I strap him into the passenger's seat and go around to the driver's side and get in the car, by which point he has usually jumped out of the car, leaving me sitting on his leash. I wrestle him back into the car and drive across town to my house, where I walk him again a bit, then take him inside to go to bed. We're usually in bed by 8:00 AM. My alarm goes off at 1:45 PM, and we're out of the house and back at my mom's just after 2:00. I then begin the process of getting ready for work, as well as trying to do all the other things most people usually take for granted every day.

(On Tuesdays this schedule is somewhat compressed: I need to be out of the house by 3:00 to get to the WBRE studios by 3:30 to do my weekly 90-second spot on "PA Live!" I park at a meter along the street and take a change of clothes with me. I'll get changed into my work clothes right after my segment and leave for work around 4:40 PM, which usually gets me in the parking lot by 5:20.)

Used to be that I could squeeze in some blogging before or after work, but that's not possible anymore. In addition to the demands of taking care of the neighbor's dog, the longer walk to and especially from work means that I've now lost an extra half-hour of "home" time to "work/commute" time. In addition I'm sleeping on average an hour or so longer than I used to; I used to squeeze by on four to five hours of sleep a night, but now that just seems stupid and dangerous.

So that's where I've been. That's what I've been up to. That's why I haven't been posting much lately. It won't last long; this job is only temporary, and who knows when I'll be able to find another one - especially one that pays a decent wage, and doesn't require an even longer commute.

Pages and Places Book Festival, Part 1: Workshops

2011-10-03T01:00:00.003-04:00

Several weeks ago I was extended an invitation to participate in a Bloggers' Roundtable discussion at the Vintage Theater in Scranton, speaking both as the founder and co-administrator of NEPA Blogs and as the blogger for (among several other more-idle sites) Another Monkey. (Accounts of this event are here and here.)

I did minimal research into this event before I went, going in with an "any publicity for NEPA Blogs is good publicity for NEPA Blogs" attitude. Fortunately I did not find myself being indoctrinated into a cult, whisked off to the Middle East to serve - after some small changes - as a harem guard, or brought before a tribunal for crimes against humanity. Instead I learned that the Bloggers' Roundtable was actually a sort of opening shot in the Pages & Places Book Festival that would be happening shortly thereafter. After the Roundtable I met the two co-directors of the Festival, Elizabeth Randol and William Black, who extended to me and to all of the participating bloggers an invitation to the Festival, with the promise of a free all-access pass.

That promise was acted upon a week later during the Fall Blog Fest at Rooney's in Pittston. I tucked away the postcard-sized pass and started making plans to attend.

In the meantime a complication had arisen in my life: starting last Monday, I would be back at my old job on a temporary basis, just to help with the Christmas busy season production. I would be back on nights, 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM, working for four nights and then having four days off. Fortunately my first rotation would be over Friday morning, and I would be able to attend the Festival.

Unfortunately, the transition from night-walking to day-walking was not smooth enough to allow me to attend the big fancy Prologue Party Friday afternoon and meet, among others, Michio Kaku, who would be speaking in Scranton in a related event that evening. I am generally terrible at cocktail party chit-chat, and would have probably managed to say something devastatingly insulting to anyone I met at the event. As it was, I was unconscious until well after the party was over.

I reviewed Saturday's scheduled events and noted that I was most interested in two workshops and two panels, all of them taking place in the afternoon. I considered going to another workshop (on Publishing, led by Lee Sebastiani of Avventura Press) that would take place at 11:00 in the morning, but I couldn't pull myself together in time to go there.

I made it up to Scranton and to the Vintage Theater (where the workshops were being held) with literally minutes to spare; I think I pulled up at 12:58 for the 1:00 workshop. This workshop was Non-Fiction Writing, led by folklorist Debra Lattanzi Shutika from the Folklore Studies Program at George Mason University (http://folkloreprograms.gmu.edu/). I presented my pass, exchanged greetings with fellow blogger Mandy Boyle (who recognized me) and took a seat just as the presentation was beginning. I pulled out a notebook and began to scribble some notes as Debra spoke:

- The Writer's Chronicle
- Toolkit - Field Work
- Sheet of Regional Resources (this was a handout she had passed out, with links to numerous useful sites for anyone interested in folklore studies)
- Verbal Histories of NEPA

That last one should have been "Oral Histories"; this was something that occurred to me as she spoke.. For years - decades - I've kicked around the thought of collecting oral histories of this area. With each day that passes without doing this, more of these oral histories vanish from the Earth as the people who could tell the stories die - or continue to live, but in a condition where they are incapable of telling their stories. Go out and buy a cheap little tape recorder and get started, Debra exhorted us. I developed a sense of urgency as I thought about all the stories that I could have captured over the years but have subsequently been lost forever.

I've realized that, in a sense, NEPA Blogs is an attempt to capture - or at least provide a gateway to - the ongoing oral histories of Northeastern Pennsylvania. Individual bloggers write blog posts, and NEPA Blogs points to them, sometimes even saying "Look at this! And look at this!" Debra reiterated that Folklore is "the history of the present," and in many cases that's exactly what blogs are, too.

(Somewhere along the line I wrote "The End of Textbooks." That is not related to her presentation at all, but will be the subject of a future blog post. Simply put, the rise of electronic readers in school and the increased drive toward standardization in the wake of No Child Left Behind may spell the end of textbooks in elementary schools as texts become nationally standardized and available electronically, ensuring that, for example, all U.S. students are studying the same subject matter from the same "text" in third grade American History. If the powerful textbook publishing industry allows this to happen, that is. Textbook publishing is probably the last major source of revenue in the book industry, and cutting the legs out from under it may actually lead to the collapse of the entire industry and the end of books on paper.)

Along the way I remembered a folklore project that has long fascinated me: the folklore of pre-adolescent children. There's an entire corpus of knowledge, information, and folklore that is available only to children (and dimly remembered by some adults): stories, songs, memes, what have you that are taught by older kids to younger kids - the art of making mud pies, songs like "Great Green Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts," the optimal way to swing a Tonka truck for maximum impact on an opponent (OK, that one is gone, as the all-steel Tonkas I played with as a child were replaced decades ago with lightweight plastic imitations with rounded corners and no sharp edges.) These are things that kids learned almost as soon as they became verbal, and forgot as soon as they hit adolescence and discovered more important things in life. So this knowledge continues to tumble among children between, say, ages four and twelve, caught like a piece of debris swirling in a rapids, remaining more-or-less in place even as the water pours around it and beyond it. I mentioned this to Debra after the presentation, and she suggested that I look into the work of Brian Sutton-Smith, who has studied the folklore of children.

Throughout Debra's presentation I heard voices coming from behind us, from a back room. Unfortunately, due to the layout of the Vintage Theater voices from this back room project better than voices from the stage up front, which is backed by a sound-absorbing curtain and flanked by sound-muffling columns of speakers. After Debra concluded her presentation and I spoke with her briefly, I decided to check out who was in the back room. Approaching it, I spotted someone I thought I recognized - one of the members of the Northeastern Pennsylvania Poets and Writers, whom I had seen presenting poems in the hours following the Bloggers' Roundtable. (Thanks to my mild Prosopagnosia, or "face-blindness," I had to confirm his identity by his boots - black military-style high boots that lace practically to the knee.)

As the group took a break before the next workshop, I noticed a young woman emerge from the direction of the Poets and Writers group. She was rather fancifully dressed, and had a ribbon in her hair with a bow on it. My pattern-recognition software cranked into action again, and I began to strongly suspect that she was a local bow-wearing blogger whose blog I had been following (more or less) for some time. As the next speaker prepared to begin, I rose and approached the young woman, asking her if she was the person I thought she might be. She confirmed that she was, but looked at me with some bewilderment and apprehension. I chuckled and pointed out that she and I had actually exchanged a brief flurry of messages online some time ago. I drew out a blog card that I had made up for Another Monkey, handed it to her, and then excused myself as I took my seat for the next workshop.

This was a workshop on Fiction Writing led by Laura Ellen Scott, also of George Mason University. Again I scribbled notes throughout the presentation.

- Uncanny Valley Press: This is an online journal in which Laura publishes some of her more "out there" pieces. Much of her discussion throughout the workshop ranged around online journals vs. paper journals. Surprisingly, the most respected paper journals have gradually transformed themselves into places where writing goes to die. While publication in a well-known and well-respected journal may be a mark of distinction and a badge of honor, there is also a good chance that nobody will read your published article - at least, not unintentionally. Online journals and publications - blogs, even - make serendipitous discovery much more likely, especially through the use of search engines.

- Successful novels have a three-pronged approach:

Very interesting, rich characters - "Characters you would watch shop for shoes."
Really interesting setting.
The "What if?" element

The first two of these were for the most part self-evident. The "What if?" element may represent a trend of the moment. It is a bleeding-over of the genres of science fiction and fantasy into other forms of stories. The trick is to use the "What if?" element without letting it dominate or dictate the story (unless, of course, that's the point.)

(I immediately thought of the Machine of Death anthology, in which stories were built around a common "What if?": What if a machine existed that, through a simple blood test, could predict your manner of death? What effect would that have on society, on individuals? Some stories were built around how people deal with predictions, or how predictions might change lives, for good or for ill; some dealt with how the machine might be marketed, or how individuals might react to the machine itself. My own submissions dealt with how predictions might alter the behavior of airlines to become more risk-averse while at the same time welcoming individuals with non-flight-related death predictions, and how an out-there death prediction could offer a glimmer of hope in a depressed economy.)

- Modular stories: This is an approach to storytelling that does not necessarily involve the normal follow-through we have come to expect. Laura offered an example of a story involving a twelve-year-old boy watching his parents' marriage fall apart, and the same boy some thirty years later watching his own marriage fall apart.

- Flash stories: Ultra-short stories, created with the assumption that individuals would not be willing to sit and read even short-short stories from the display screen of an electronic device. In a world where entire books are being read - preferentially - from the display screens of electronic devices, we now realize that this assumption is not necessarily correct.

She also presented a lengthy list of online resources for writers. I'm hoping she might have an online version tucked away on her site somewhere...

(As her presentation went on, the driving beat of techno music began to leak through the wall from a neighboring building. The techno beat would alternate with what seemed to be a polka beat, and then a familiar vocal scheme:

Buh duh duh
Buh-dup budup buh-duh budup
Buh duh duh
Buh-dup budup buh-duh budup
Buh-dup bow, bow, bow
Buh-duh budup
Buh-duh budup

After a second repitition of the chorus, I realized that this was a techno/polka - or Tejano? - remix of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." It stopped soon after.)

Laura covered many other topics, but at some point I simply put down my pen and enjoyed her presentation. Her novel Death Wishing has recently been published - a story set in post-Katrina New Orleans, a place and time where some people have acquired the power to alter reality with their dying wishes.

I originally set out to present a complete account of my experiences at Pages & Places in a single post, but I have realized this account would be more coherent if I were to split it into one post on the Workshops I attended and one post on the Panels. And by "coherent" I do not mean "better structured" or "having a more continuous flow"; I mean "not degenerating into incoherent ramblings due to sleep deprivation." So the account of the Panels will have to wait for a later post.

As I was writing this post, something came up that may allow or even require me to put into action some of the things I learned at one of the panels. I had best start reading one of the books I purchased yesterday!

Thugs to bloggers: "Watch what you say online!"

2011-09-23T13:38:00.004-04:00

In Mexico last week, two bloggers who spoke out online against drug cartel activity were found hanging from a pedestrian bridge over a highway after having been tortured and beaten to death. (The cause of death of the female blogger may have been her disembowelment.) You can read the details - and see the chilling image as it was seen by drivers - here.

In Pennsylvania, for now, the thugs are content with suing people who speak out online into bankruptcy.

Gas firm’s suit targets 3 families | The Times Leader, Wilkes-Barre, Scranton PA - News

The suit, filed by Texas-based Chief Gathering LLC, is "seeking close to $20 million in damages from three families the company claims interfered in the project without grounds and damaged the company’s reputation in the community."

Now, I don't know about you, but to me, few things will damage a company's reputation in a community more than the knowledge that if members of the community say the wrong thing, they will find themselves sued for a preposterously enormous sum.

From the linked article:

Suit cites Facebook

Chief bases that assertion on posts the defendants made on the Facebook page of the Gas Drilling Awareness Coalition, a group of local citizens opposed to natural gas drilling in the Marcellus Shale as it is currently occurring.

“I understand that Darling Farms signed a lease with Chief recently and that other residents of Hildebrandt Road are now being approached by Chief,” one post allegedly made by Dickson in July reads. “Please, if anyone has heard anything, let us know so we can plan to fight and also try and figure out their revised plans!”

What Chief Gathering LLC is doing is called a Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation, or SLAPP. It's an old technique, much-beloved by corporate thugs. In it, a corporation decides to make an example of some person or group that has been a thorn in their side. So, using the massive financial assets at their disposal, they bring a suit for an outrageous sum (say, twenty million dollars) against the person or group. Generally this is a sum that far exceeds any actual damage, but, more importantly, far exceeds the assets available to the defendants. The defendants are faced with two options: surrender, or fight. If they choose to surrender - and if the corporation chooses to accept the surrender - then they have been defeated; but if they choose to fight, even in a case where the suit against them is so outrageous that the prosecution has no reasonable chance of winning, the defendants immediately begin incurring legal costs that will quickly mount to levels that again exceed the assets available to the defendants.

Sometimes corporations will pursue SLAPPs just to the point that they have bankrupted the defendants; sometimes they will follow through all the way. Sometimes the case will go to court and the corporation will lose, and will be ordered to pay all legal costs incurred by the defense. And the corporation will agree, and drag it heels interminably, using legal argument after legal argument to justify the delay in rendering payment. And sometimes they will appeal the decision, possibly incurring further costs for the defendant but in any case leaving the defendant in a penurious state until such time as a final decision is made and payment is rendered - if any is forthcoming at all.

This won't end here. Chief Gathering LLC isn't the only gas-drilling-related company to draw the ire, criticism, and opposition of members of the community. If these companies intend to sue everyone who has criticised them until the criticisms stop, they're in for a long, hard road. But make no mistake: these companies are not here with any intention of being good neighbors and good corporate citizens. Just like the drug cartels in Mexico, they're here to make money, and will destroy you if you stand in your way. They won't torture you, gut you, and leave you hanging from a bridge - not yet. But companies like Chief Gathering LLC will sue you into bankruptcy if you dare to speak out against them.

See also:

Chief sues Dallas Twp. residents over anti-pipeline tactics - News - Citizens Voice

DO NOT DELETE YOUR BLOG

2011-09-23T12:09:00.001-04:00

One of the most useful sites about blogging out there - at least as far as Blogger/Blogspot users are concerned - is The Real Blogger Status (http://blogging.nitecruzr.net/). Every day they address the big issues and nitpicky little annoyances that bedevil Blogger users every day.

One issue that they've harped on for years is this: DO NOT DELETE YOUR BLOG. There is never really any reason to do this. If you're tired of blogging and don't want people to see what you've written in the past, it's a simple matter to shut down your blog in such a way that it's not visible to anyone but yourself. (And if, like so many people in the past, you forget your username and password, not even you!) As long as you do this your blog still exists, though it is inaccessible to the outside world.

But here's the important thing: as long as you do not delete your blog, and assuming no one has hacked your username and password, you will continue to have exclusive control over your blog address. If you delete your blog, after a certain period of time that blog address will become available to anyone else who wants to snatch it up.

Think about it. All the work you put into your blog, all the heart and soul and, occasionally, crappy poetry and embarrassing photos you poured into it will be gone in the touch of a key. And then all the online reputation and popularity that accrued to your blog can be hijacked by someone else when they claim your blog address.

AND: Anyone who was following your blog, and never bothered to unfollow it once you decided to turn it off, will now be following the usurper blog instead - and wondering what the hell is wrong with you, that you're suddenly posting whatever gibberish they decide to post on the address that used to belong to your blog.

I've seen it happen this week. Twice. It breaks my heart, knowing that this means that these blogs are truly dead. It's like when one of my favorite little shops closed its doors a few years ago: every once in a while I would drive past the vacant storefront and wonder if maybe they'd be moving back in. And then one day another business set up shop in the place and remodeled it, and I knew that they were truly gone for good.

So. If you want to - if you need to - shut down your blog, there are ways of doing it that will make sure no one else will be able to take over the address. But if you delete it, it's up for grabs, and soon may be gone for good.

Lil (a fairy tale rewrite)

2011-09-20T23:46:00.006-04:00

I recently saw "Sugar Bones," a presentation of a classic fairy tale adapted into a modern setting by poet and playwright Kait Burrier. Her dramatization has stuck with me, but it reminded me that I had never been satisfied with any version of that fairy tale that I had heard as a child. So I decided to rewrite it.

On the edge of the woods you'll find a path. Follow this path and you'll come to a branch, and another, and another. Some of these paths don't lead anywhere in particular. One leads to Grandma's house.

Nobody really knows who she is or how old she is or whose Grandma in particular she might be, but almost everyone calls her Grandma and she doesn't seem to mind. Many people have decided to leave her alone. Others take it upon themselves to visit her and take her the things she might need. She never comes in to town so it seems like she might need quite a few things. But this appears to not be the case.

Lil is a girl from the town. Not yet a woman, but no longer a child, she learned long ago the things she needs to do to live her life the way she wants to live. Some of those things she learned from in town. Some of them she learned from her visits to Grandma.

One fine day Lil had set out with a basket to take to Grandma's house. She rode out to the edge of the forest, but as always, her pony refused to go any further. She dismounted, unfastened her basket from the saddle, and sent the pony home. It would find its way there. It always did.

Finding her way to Grandma's would be more difficult for Lil. The forest was dense and full of shadows, and the branches in the paths were tricky. Sometimes, it seemed, you had to go this way to get to Grandma's, and sometimes you had to go that way. But in the end, Lil always found a way to get there.

Lil had followed the path for some ways when she became aware that something was ahead of her, something hidden in the shadows. She stopped and shouted a challenge. "Who is there? Show yourself!"

The thing in the shadows stirred, and then said in a growling voice, "What have you got in your basket, little girl?"

"That is none of your concern!" shouted Lil. "If you must know, it is a gift for Grandma. I am going to her house to deliver it to her. You would be unwise to hinder me!"

"Yessss," hissed the voice. "Is it something to eat? For I am very hungry."

"It is not for you," Lil stated, calmly. "It is for Grandma."

"Then perhaps Grandma will be more willing to share with me than you are," said the voice. There was a stirring in the shadows, and then it was gone.

Lil was unnerved by this. Brave though she was, she did not like being challenged by unknown voices that growled and hissed from the shadows. She pulled her red hooded cloak about herself and continued on her way to Grandma's, a bit more cautiously.

When she got to Grandma's house at last she saw that something was amiss. The front door was partially open in a way that Grandma would have never left it. One of the kitchen chairs was slightly out of place. And a fork was on the floor. No, Grandma would never leave her house like this.

Lil entered and moved warily through the house. She clutched her basket tightly and approached Grandma's bedroom.

"Grandma?" she called.

"Come in, my dear, come in," said a voice that was nothing like Grandma's.

Grandma's room was full of shadows. The curtains were tightly drawn, and the only light that entered the room came from behind Lil as she pushed the door open.

The thing in Grandma's bed was not Grandma.

"Come in, my dear, and show Grandma what you have brought."

Lil knew what would come next. She knew the words by heart, as if they were a ritual.

"My, Grandma," Lil said, "what big eyes you have."

The eyes stared at Lil out of the darkness, glowing dimly in the reflected light. "All the better to see you with, my dear."

Lil's own eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and she was able to pick out more details of the thing that was not Grandma.

"My, Grandma," she said, "what big ears you have." For indeed, the thing in the bed had big ears, long and pointed and sticking up at the sides of its head.

"All the better to hear you with, child." The thing on the bed moved its head slightly, and Lil got a glimpse of it from the side.

"My, Grandma," she said, her voice growing darker, "what a big nose you have."

"All the better to smell you with, love." The creature's voice was almost growing playful. Lil saw a tongue and a flash of teeth.

"My, Grandma," said Lil, knowing the ritual was at an end, "what big teeth you have."

The creature practically howled in triumph. "All the better to eat you with, my dear!"

It leaped out of the bed and knocked Lil to the ground. It was a wolf, big and strong and lean and hairy with four feet tipped with claws. The wolf pinned her to the ground and brought its face up very close to Lil's.

"Did you eat Grandma?" Lil asked.

"Not yet," replied the wolf. "Old women are tough and stringy. I am very hungry, but I wanted to first enjoy something sweeter and more tender." It licked her cheek. "But before we begin the main course, why don't you tell me what is in the basket?"

"I already told you in the woods," Lil said. "It is not for you. It is for Grandma."

"Show me, child," growled the wolf. "Show me now, or I may do something rash."

"Very well," said Lil. "Grandma has been teaching me things. She has taught me how to bake." She removed a towel from the basket, and another, and another. "I have made a pie, and have brought it to Grandma so she may judge how well it was made."

The room filled with the aroma of savory meats baked into the pie. Steam rose from the basket as Lil removed the last towel.

"I believe it was made very well," said the wolf. "Give it to me!" it howled. "Give it to me now!!!"

And so Lil did.

********

On the edge of the woods you'll find a path. Follow this path and you'll come to a branch, and another, and another. Some of these paths don't lead anywhere in particular. One leads to Grandma's house.

Nobody really knows who she is or how old she is or whose Grandma in particular she might be, but almost everyone calls her Grandma and she doesn't seem to mind. Many people have decided to leave her alone. Others take it upon themselves to visit her and take her the things she might need. She never comes in to town so it seems like she might need quite a few things. But this appears to not be the case.

She does not live alone. In her house lives a young woman named Lil. She has learned many things from Grandma. She has learned how to bake. She has learned how to defend herself.

And they do not live alone, either. Their house is guarded by a shadowy creature. Some say it is a dog. Some say it is not. But whatever it is, it has a burn on its face, and a fondness for meat pies. And you would be unwise to approach with ill intentions that might interfere with its supply.

As a child, the only grandma I identified with was my own, so it terrified me that she was eaten (or placed in danger of being eaten) in the story. And I felt bad for the wolf: he was just doing what came naturally to him to satisfy his hunger. Why should he be killed?

I've tried to imbue this story with a touch of the supernatural: Grandma is a proto-Blair Witch, feared and shunned by most of society, supported or at least appeased by others. Lil is her apprentice. And the wolf becomes a creature of the shadows, much like the time I saw a bear at night in the forest on the side of the road, illuminated by car headlights: my friend and I didn't see the bear so much as two emerald lights - its eyes - and a bear-shaped hole in space where we couldn't see the trees behind it. It was surreal.

Grandma is powerful - could this have all been a test for Lil? Lil, as her apprentice and student, is powerful, too, and not just in a supernatural sense - either of these women (well, I'm seeing Lil as about twelve or so) could kick your ass from one side of the room to the other. Did Grandma allow herself to be subdued, or did the wolf get the drop on her somehow? In the end I resort to a Vaudevillian slapstick solution to the danger posed by the wolf: a pie in the face. In this case a piping-hot meat pie, kept warm on the trip to Grandma's with layers of towels...well, magic towels or something.

And the wolf is not killed. It is broken, tamed, enslaved perhaps - kept subdued with meat pies, and the promise of more meat pies. Even villains have their use in the world. And sometimes the big bad wolf is just ravenously hungry.

Paul Krugman finally noticed!

2011-09-18T22:06:00.000-04:00

You may have seen this Demotivational-style image floating around the Internet, with the usual lack of provenance or attribution. But rest assured: I created it!

Picture from Syriana, caption by me!

I first posted it here, just over thirteen months ago:

Another Monkey: Starring George Clooney as Paul Krugman

Paul Krugman has finally noticed it and posted it to his site!

I've Never Actually Seen the Resemblance - Paul Krugman's blog - NYTimes.com

So I'm sort-of Internet famous! Well, something I created is. Which has become completely decoupled from me. Oh, well.

Blogfest 2011 - Fall edition!

2011-09-18T14:20:00.002-04:00

I've been blogging like a blogging fool over at NEPA Blogs this weekend, posting links to (among other things) four sites that I became aware of after the Bloggers' Roundtable this past Thursday. (I'm hoping there will be more, especially since I invited everyone in the audience to begin blogs of their own, which we would gladly list on NEPA Blogs!)

This past Wednesday Gort announced that the next gathering of regional bloggers will be at Rooney's in downtown Pittston this coming Friday, September 23 starting at 6:00 PM. See his post for complete details:

Gort42: Blogfest-2011 fall edition

Rooney's is in a part of Pittston that was above the water line, but much of Pittston and surrounding communities like Jenkins Township and West Pittston (like many other communities along the Susquehanna) was devastated by the flooding that resulted from Tropical Storm Lee. As with previous Blog Fests held at Rooney's, there will likely be a number of local and state politicians in attendance - though this is by no means a purely political event, nor is participation restricted to "political" bloggers. But this is a very good chance to meet with politicians (as well as bloggers!) face-to-face in an informal setting, and bend their ears with the concerns of constituents that might otherwise go unheard.

I have revised the logo for the Spring 2011 Blog Fest to reflect the season a bit. (The original logo was itself an attempt to recreate the look and feel of a logo from a gathering of "style" bloggers that was being held in New York City, a logo that someone had cropped and appropriated for use with the local blog event.)

Sitting around the table...

2011-09-15T00:20:00.001-04:00

I'm going to be one of four bloggers participating in a roundtable discussion on Thursday night (tonight) in Scranton. If you're interested in blogging, are in the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton area, and need to take a break from flood cleanup and recovery, why not stop by and see how it goes? Admission is free!

NEPA Blogs: NEPA Blogger's Roundtable

UPDATE: See here for follow-up. Video may be coming, too!

Are river crests getting higher?

2011-09-14T18:12:00.001-04:00

The Susquehanna in Wilkes-Barre crested (that is, reached its highest level) during last week's flood at a height of 42 feet, eight inches - a new record. Are river crests getting higher, and is this a natural consequence of development and deforestation?

Prompted by the discovery by amateur historian Philip Lord of a photo tucked into an old book, I wrote this post that looked at the history of flooding in Wilkes-Barre from 1936 through 2010:

Another Monkey: Sterling Hotel and Market Street Bridge, 1936 and 2010

In that entry I included this tidbit:

From the Luzerne County Riverfront Project site:

Although numerous floods occurred in the Wyoming Valley, and some levees had been constructed to try to prevent wide-spread flooding, the valley was unprepared for the flood that struck on St. Patrick’s Day, 1936. That day the Susquehanna crested in Wilkes-Barre and Kingston at 33 feet, and flood waters flowed for miles across the Wyoming Valley.

The devastation wrought by the 1936 flood brought construction funding from Washington in the form of a valley-long, flood protection levee – at a flood stage of 36 feet. Subsequently, the Susquehanna River rose to flood stage in 1946, 1955, and 1964, with the levees providing substantial protection.

And all was well for thirty-six years until 1972, when Agnes rose above the level of the levees and broke thorough the sandbag dikes that had been built around it, reaching a crest just shy of 41 feet. Twenty-four years later there was again widespread flooding, but this flood served as the final kick to get the levees raised to a nominal height of 41 feet, plus three bonus feet. This project was completed ten years later, and was tested by Hurricane Ivan a few months later.

No other storm came close to overtopping the levees until on Labor Day 2011 and much of the week that followed the remnants of Tropical Storm Lee dumped many inches of water onto lands already saturated by Irene a week and a half earlier. Lee then parked itself over upstate New York, like Agnes, and fed the headwaters of the Susquehanna until the levees were put to the test again with a crest of approximately 42 feet 8 inches. (I love the reports that quote this as "42.66 feet" - two decimal place accuracy from a system that had been off by about 7% just a few hours earlier, when the river gauge was overwhelmed by floodwater and reported a crest of just over 39 feet.)

I don't know if it's reasonable to expect to see a "worst flood" and then have every subsequent flood back off from there. But it seems like we're seeing once-in-a-century storms every 35-40 years or so. Had there ever been a 42 foot crest before 1936? Or are higher crests a result of some evolution of the ecosystem that is causing more water to be dumped into creeks and streams that feed the river?

I can think of two potential causes of increased runoff: deforestation, especially in mountainous areas (which will also serve to increase silting-up of creeks and streams), and removal of water-absorbing land surface area through construction and paving. Could these development activities be the cause of increased river crests during catastrophic floods? If so, we should not expect the levees - at 41 or 44 feet, as the case may be - to protect Wilkes-Barre, Kingston, and Forty-Fort next time, or the time after that, or any of the times after that.

Note: I posed this question to Don Williams, the Susquehanna River Sentinel, and he concurred, and dug out a letter to the editor that he submitted to a local paper eight years ago, a letter which he located only with tremendous difficulty. He has reproduced this letter (formatting marks included) in this entry.

Ten years after

2011-09-11T11:56:00.005-04:00

It's been ten years since the world changed forever. Ten years later, many on the Internet and in the blogosphere are remembering where they were on that horrible day, and what has happened since then.

I don't want to. I've been re-experiencing an aspect of 9/11 for several days now.

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The water this time

2011-09-10T01:28:00.004-04:00

In 1972 a storm named Agnes did a drunkard's walk from the Yucatan Peninsula, through the Gulf of Mexico, across the Florida panhandle and Georgia and both Carolinas, then into the Atlantic, where it turned and came back onto land through (well, near) New York City and parked itself over upstate New York, dumping many many gallons of rain into the headwaters of the Susquehanna, which carried those waters downstream, shattered the sandbag levees that had been built along its banks in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, and utterly devastated the Wyoming Valley.

It was an enormous flood. Horrendous. It destroyed thousands of homes, caused billions of dollars in damage - in 1972 dollars. It was a once-in-a-century storm. A once-in-a-lifetime event.

The storm that pounded eastern and central Pennsylvania this week was worse.

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Lessons we learned from the storm

2011-09-07T18:24:00.003-04:00

(Or maybe, lessons we should have learned from the storm and didn't. The storm in question was Hurricane Irene, by the way.)

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333333

2011-09-03T13:55:00.001-04:00

333,333 official miles on my 1996 Toyota Tercel, registered around 11:50 last night while driving through Wilkes-Barre. Unofficially, there are about 2000 additional miles on it from when the speedometer cable rotted away and my miles weren't registering.

Original engine. Has had the brakes, spark plugs, windshield wiper blades, tires, and headlight bulbs replaced numerous times. Front axles and third brake light bulb replaced once. Exhaust system replaced - groan - three times, and each time I felt like I was getting ripped off.

Onward to 400,000!

The stages of looking for a new job, salary-wise

2011-09-01T11:44:00.001-04:00

1. I hope I can find a job that pays as much as I think I'm worth.

2. I hope I can find a job that pays something close to the job I lost.

3. I hope I can find a job that pays more than unemployment.

4. I hope I can find a job that pays more than minimum wage.

5. I hope I can find a job that pays...anything.

6. I hope I can find a volunteer position somewhere.

Another test post

2011-08-31T19:04:00.000-04:00

Well, Blogger has moved one step closer to making the new interface the standard. And it turns out that I wasn't as ready for the new interface as I thought. As of the new interface release, Blogger will only support the newest versions of browsers, and going forward, they will support only the then-current versions plus the previous version. I thought I had the latest version of Internet Explorer, and I do, technically - for Windows XP. To run the current version of IE, I would need Windows Vista or Windows 7, an upgrade that would also require some hardware upgrades. So I decided to do the next best thing - follow Blogger's advice and download Google Chrome. It's apparently compatible with Windows XP, for the moment. I'm writing this post using it. We'll see how things go.

Irene, Goodnight

2011-08-28T19:59:00.002-04:00

And so, in the end, Hurricane Irene turned into a big fizzle. A storm the size of Europe couldn't even deliver a serious punch to New York City with a direct hit. Nothing bad happened. It was yet another case of media hype and big government telling people what to do when the people knew better.

None of that is true. Except for the part about Irene being the size of Europe.

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Repainting Three-O-Nina

2011-08-25T12:58:00.001-04:00

A few weeks ago a friend let me know that the Boy Scouts were planning to repaint Three-O-Nina, the giant cow that stands along Route 309 in Wilkes-Barre Township. (Or is it Wilkes-Barre itself? Why is it so hard to find a map online that shows these boundaries?) I tried to spread the word in advance on Facebook, and then posted an announcement the day before here on my blog. When the big day came, unfortunately, I found myself heading out to the big cow on my own, armed with my camera.

Turnout was good, as far as I could tell. I eventually did manage to connect with one of my friends, who was out taking her kids school shopping. The three of them stopped by and joined in the fun.

There was even some coverage on the local news, which was good. Sometimes it seems like local news is all car crashes, house fires, robberies, murders, and political scandals. It's nice to see something like this get some air time.

Yr. hmbl. blogger delicately rolls on some paint. This was my second go with the paint roller. Earlier I had laid down some white paint in various locations.

Three-O-Nina is somewhat famous. She was featured in a Parade magazine list of roadside attractions across the U.S. She's also listed on RoadsideAmerica.com, in a list of giant cows on the Roadside Architecture site, and is spotlighted on Roadsidewonders.net (looking very ominous at night!)

Here's a great little locally-produced piece about Three-O-Nina:

Updates...

2011-08-24T21:09:00.000-04:00

Let's see. The big cow on Route 309 known as Three-O-Nina got a fresh coat of paint this weekend. I applied a little myself. I've got plenty of photos that I need to sort through, resize, and post. I've also got a lot of great Three-O-Nina links and information, including a news segment from last year that covered a lot of its history.

Yesterday there was an earthquake in this area. It was centered in a little place called Mineral, Virginia, but its effects were felt north to Canada and south to the Carolinas. While most in this area are treating the event as a joke, folks living closer to the epicenter experienced some actual damage. And Californians may sneer at the East Coast overreacting to a little 5.8-magnitude quake, but, as anyone who has read about the New Madrid Fault knows, seismic waves propagate differently through the "old and cold" geology on this side of the Mississippi. If everybody west of the Rockies were to feel rumbles from every earthquake that happens out there, I doubt anyone would actually stick around very long.

Looks like NEPA Blogs may be breaking into the world of "old media": thanks to the efforts of Michelle Davies we may have a weekly 90-second segment on PA Live!, an upcoming local show that's been scheduled for Oprah's old slot, and we'll almost definitely be doing a weekly half-hour show on WFTE-FM, a local community radio station with an admittedly limited broadcast coverage range - unless you count the internet simulcast! I just blocked out a sample program and sent it to Michelle for her input. Our first show might be this Sunday! Next: a weekly newspaper column. Hey, why not?

Three-O-Nina getting repainted TOMORROW!

2011-08-19T13:39:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow, Saturday, August 20, 2011, the Boy Scouts will be repainting Three-O-Nina, the giant cow on Route 309 in Wilkes-Barre. Here is their posting about this:

Beautify the Bovine

Help Support the
Northeastern Pennsylvania Council
Boy Scouts of America

by
Painting the Cow on Route 309
our "Beautify the Bovine Project"

Three-O-Nina needs a touch up, and you get to do it! Only $1.00 to paint the cow

Saturday August 20, 2011 - 10:00am to 5:00pm

An inexpensive lunch, snacks and drinks available for purchase.

Paint the cow Flier.

You can help to promote the event by placing a copy at work, handing them out to your Scout unit, your friends and family.

Sponsored in part by Krugel's Georgetown Deli.

Personally, I like the way the cow is currently painted, so I'm hoping this is just a touch-up. Three-O-Nina has had several different paint jobs over the decades, and some of them have been pretty obnoxious. Assuming that what the Boy Scouts have in mind isn't some abomination, I plan to take part in this. Then, for years to come, I'll be able to look at this cow and think, "I helped paint that!"

Machine of Death: ABANDONED IN SPACE

2011-08-16T23:33:00.000-04:00

In a previous post I explained what the Machine of Death anthology was all about and what the rules for submissions were. I had been kicking around the idea for my first story, DUCK, for quite a while, but when it was done I was still permitted to submit up to two more stories. But now I found myself faced with the dreaded blank page: what should I write about?

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Machine of Death: DUCK (the annotated version)

2011-08-15T00:36:00.004-04:00

In my last post I presented the rules of the Machine of Death stories, and shared one of my two submissions for consideration for inclusion in the second volume. I think the story stands on its own, with no real explanation necessary - unless you felt the need to look up one cause of death mentioned about halfway through. But I thought it would be fun to share some annotations, explaining what the thinking was behind this story. If anyone were to ask "Where do you get your ideas?," for this story I could respond "A controversial book by Nabokov, a Penn & Teller video game that was never released, a MAD Magazine article from about fifty years ago, a John Waters bonus segment on one of his DVDs, a Samuel Jackson/Eugene Levy buddy movie that nobody saw, and an ancillary character in the Mary Worth comic strip." Or, if you prefer, "I don't know, they just come to me."

I thought of doing these annotations as footnotes, but realized that would get really annoying really fast. So I decided to interleave the notes with the story itself. To read the story without interruption, see this post.

Click here to continue reading this post...

Machine of Death: DUCK

2011-08-13T22:42:00.003-04:00

Earlier this year the folks who brought us the anthology Machine of Death - which outsold both Keith Richards's autobiography and Glenn Beck's latest piece of crap on the day they were all released (at least, for long stretches of time) - put out a call for submissions for the second volume of Machine of Death.

Machine of Death is an anthology of stories about people who know how they will die. All the stories are required to follow a few simple rules, which I have simplified here:

- All stories have a shared premise, but not (necessarily) a shared universe. The Machine of Death exists, which is able, from a simple blood test, to give a prediction of the manner of your death. Predictions never change, and are always correct, though they may be correct in a vague, whimsical, or ironic way. SUICIDE, for example, may mean your suicide, or the suicide of someone else, or you may be run over by a van from the Death Metal band Suicide. Or it may mean that your 527th suicide attempt will succeed, but the previous 526 will fail.

- All story titles must be death predictions, though not necessarily of the characters in the story. (Mine was originally ONLY going to be a joke, but I decided that would be stretching the rules a bit.)

This is the first of two stories that I submitted. (You were allowed to submit up to three stories. I came up with a third story idea several days after the deadline, but realized that I would have a hard time working it into a story anyway - each step of the story opened up more complications.) These are two of 1,958 stories that were submitted. The editors of the anthology have assured us that publication of our stories on blogs will in no way negatively affect the chances of our stories getting selected. I was going to hold off posting until the selections are announced in October, but, you know, carpe diem and all that. Who's to say that I'll still be around then?

This is the final version of the story, as submitted. Some friends received earlier versions during the rewrite process that were slightly different. I also plan on doing an annotated version of the story, explaining where each and every piece of the story came from. For now, I give you this:

Click here to continue reading this post...

In the time without bats

2011-08-12T20:55:00.002-04:00

Bats are virtually extinct in Nanticoke, and possibly throughout Northeastern Pennsylvania. While some people who live in the country have reported seeing some bats, they have been completely absent from the low skies of Nanticoke as twilight darkens into night. Up until now they have been a part of the ecosystem here, flapping in seemingly erratic paths across the not-quite-dark sky in search of insects. But now they are gone, apparently all of them.

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Victims, aren't we all?

2011-08-12T01:02:00.006-04:00

Former Luzerne County Judge Mark Ciavarella received his sentence today: 336 months in prison. That's 28 years. He's 61 mow; when he gets out of jail he'll be 89 - and face several additional years of supervised probation.

Even if you're not from Northeastern Pennsylvania you might have heard of this case. Ciavarella was one of two judges accused in a scheme known as "Kids for Cash." Allegedly, he and another judge had entered into a scheme to accept kickbacks from a local developer who built a new juvenile detention center. In exchange, Ciavarella and the other judge would see to it that his facility received a steady supply of customers.

Ciavarella developed a reputation as a strict juvenile judge. Very strict. Even minor infractions, for which other judges might impose a fine and a suspended sentence, resulted in lengthy custodial sentences from Ciavarella. Prosecutions were done in a swift, efficient manner, due to the frequent absence of any public defender to represent the juveniles. Parents would enter the court with their children, only to see them hauled off directly out of the court to begin serving months- or even years-long sentences at Ciavarella's friend's detention center.

This went on for years. There were rumblings about it, but nothing could be done - in Pennsylvania, judges are effectively the highest authorities in the land, answerable only to the Judicial Board of Review, an organization Ciavarella had already used to have a fellow judge who had complained about his practices removed from the Luzerne County bench. One juvenile, who had already served one sentence under Ciavarella, exploded with fear and rage when she found that she would have another hearing before him; she claimed that he had ruined her life, and threatened to kill him.

The case finally broke a few years ago, thanks to efforts from several fronts - former County Controller Steve Flood, a civil rights group from Philadelphia, and even a convicted mobster named Billy D'Elia. D'Elia reportedly sang like a canary to federal investigators on the matter of local businessman Louis DeNaples' alleged criminal activities - and when that investigation and any related convictions was suddenly and mysteriously thrown out by a Dauphin County judge, the feds allegedly went back to him and said words to the effect of, "Well, that was a waste of time. What else have you got?"

In the end Ciavarella and his co-conspirators were caught and brought to justice. Ciavarella's prosecutions ultimately had nothing to do with unjust convictions of juveniles; instead, he was convicted of conspiracy and ~~accepting bribes~~ tax evasion. But that was enough. Enough to get him twenty-eight years.

Meanwhile, justice of a sort was done to the juveniles convicted in his court. All of their convictions were thrown out, and any fines or other requirements of restitution were dismissed. The problem is, of course, that not every juvenile who appeared before Ciavarella was innocent. Many of them were guilty of the crimes for which they were convicted. So along with those juveniles who were unjustly prosecuted, and those who were unjustly sentenced to lengthy custodial terms, a third class of victims emerged: those people who had been victimized by juvenile criminals, and who had sought justice and restitution through prosecution.

But there's another, larger set of victims here.

Northeastern Pennsylvania has long enjoyed a well-deserved reputation as being a cesspool of corruption. From politicians who could easily send any of Chicago's most corrupt back to the Windy City for remedial courses, to judges who act like tin gods, to a broad and well-known network of organized crime figures, Northeastern Pennsylvania has it all. Many people wonder why businesses don't set up shop here: we have a large population with a tradition of hard work, family bonds, and loyalty, yet industries routinely shy away from setting up in the area. The reason, as told to me by several individuals with inside knowledge of the subject, is that few businesses are prepared to pay out the vast array of bribes and kickbacks expected from anyone who wants to do business in this area.

It's hard to fight against a reputation like that. So many people flee the area at the first possible opportunity. Northeastern Pennsylvania has many excellent colleges and universities, yet our population ranks among the lowest-educated in the country. This is not because people in this area are inherently dumb, or because they shy away from higher education; it is simply that the vast majority of those who attend institutes of higher learning take their degrees and flee to greener pastures with more job opportunities. With each departure, Northeastern Pennsylvania is diminished. And with each departure, the revised demographics creep incrementally closer to making the point for businesses who choose not to locate here not only because of the culture of corruption, but because of a lack of skilled workers.

There's a thing endemic to this area known as the "Coal Miner's Mentality." I've never been able to pin down what exactly that means, and I've started to think that it means whatever the speaker wants it to mean at the time the words are spoken. To me, the mentality could be summed up as this: The people - the "coal miners" - recognize that the system, the region, whatever, is completely corrupt, unjust, and unfair, and is slowly destroying them. And so they get together and get blind drunk to rail against the injustice of it all. And the next day, they wake up and put on their hard hats and go back to working under the same corrupt, unjust, unfair, and destructive system, because they have no choice, because they believe that nothing that they ever do will make a damned bit of difference.

Everybody knew that something was very wrong in the juvenile court system in Luzerne County. But everyone accepted it as one of those things that we just have to live with, about which nothing can be done. It took a federal investigation to actually bring some sort of justice to the area. But it came at a price. It came at the price of making Luzerne County, and all of Northeastern Pennsylvania, look like the cesspool of corruption and criminality that many of us, and many outside the area, believe it to be. What Ciavarella did made that corruption into something tangible, taking it from the realm of the abstract to the realm of the very, very real.

Ciavarella made Northeastern Pennsylvania look as bad as everyone thinks it is. He reinforced the biases and prejudices that people have about this area. He may have helped to dissuade any businesses from even considering setting up shop in and bringing jobs to NEPA for the foreseeable future.

The juveniles that Ciavarella convicted falsely were victims. Those juveniles that Ciavarella sentenced unjustly were victims. The people who saw justice undone and restitutions unmade by criminals whose cases were thrown out because of Ciavarella were victims.

And everyone else living in Northeastern Pennsylvania was a victim of Ciavarella, too. When will we get our justice?

Title reference: The resurrected Eric Draven's last words to the criminal Tin-Tin in "The Crow."

SEE ALSO:

The Lu Lac Political Letter: The LuLac Edition #1710, August 11th, 2011

The Lu Lac Political Letter: The LuLac Edition #1711, August 11th, 2011

NEPArtisan: Ciavarella; Where Mercy Is Given, Mercy Is Shown; Bye-Bye

THE RIGHT TO GRIPE: 336 Months Equals 28 Years In The Slammer

Andy Palumbo: What Have We Learned?

Gort42: 28 years for Ciavarella (explicit language)

Larry Hohol: “Kids for cash” cover-up, federal style?

Oh, The Irony! » PureBunkum

Nagasaki Day

2011-08-09T23:59:00.001-04:00

On August 9,1945, the Japanese city of Nagasaki was destroyed by the second atomic bomb in the world's first nuclear war. By modern standards, the 20 megaton "Fat Man" plutonium fission bomb was tiny. This was not really the last time weapons of this sort were used against inhabited locations - we just had the good manners to remove the populations from places like Bikini Atoll before we destroyed them in nuclear tests.

The artist Isao Hashimoto created an audiovisual time-lapse representation of the 2053 nuclear detonations from 1945 through 1998.¹

"1945-1998" by Isao Hashimoto: CTBTO Preparatory Commission

1. Unfortunately, after this was created in 2003 - five years after the (at the time) last nuclear detonation - North Korea decided to enter the exclusive club of nuclear-weapons nations with detonations in October 2006 and May 2009. There will doubtless be more nuclear detonations in the future - perhaps not all of them tests.

Note also that the projection used in this map exaggerates the size of land masses in the Northern Hemisphere. In reality, the tests conducted in the Northern Hemisphere, particularly the ones in China and the Soviet Union, were much less spread out than they appear here.

FIX IT! Contaminated well water in Dimock

2011-08-07T22:16:00.000-04:00

Several years ago natural gas driller Cabot Oil & Gas was found liable for the contamination of residential wells in Dimock, in one of the first well-publicized cases of damage caused by a drilled in Marcellus Shale territory in Northeastern Pennsylvania - and a taste of things to come.

The Marcellus Effect: Despite "Consent Order" Dimock Story Unresolved

Faced with an initial agreement to provide water to the affected residences through water lines to municipal sources, Cabot balked and used legal maneuvering to get a new judgement. They agreed to install "treatment systems" inside each affected residence. Contaminated water would be pumped into the residence, and the "treatment system" would remove the methane and contaminants and whatnot that Cabot maintained weren't even there in the first place. And Cabot's legal obligations would be fulfilled with the installation of the system; maintenance and repairs would be the responsibility of the individual homeowner. And good luck using that as a selling point when you decide to sell your home. Better keep the manual to pass on to future purchasers.

Naturally, some residents found this to be an unacceptable solution.

And so it goes. Cabot refuses to abide with the original (and now vacated) consent order, which is understandable - after all, they went through all the trouble and expense of getting it overturned. Residents find the prospect of drinking and showering out of plastic "water buffaloes" to be as unacceptable as the notion of becoming the managers of in-house "treatment systems." Residents have one vote apiece, while Cabot and other gas companies pour millions of dollars in ~~bribes~~ contributions to state and local governments to make sure everybody remembers how to vote when it comes to regulation of their industry and settling disputes with the peons.

Some residents of Dimock decided they had had enough. They purchased a billboard ad featuring an image of a pitcher of water drawn from their well, a list of the chemicals that have been found within, and the words "FIX IT!"

Within twenty-four hours, the billboard ad was taken down.

Susquehanna River Sentinel: Freedom of Speech DOA in Susquehanna County

Here is the text of the press release that included the billboard image that I have posted above:

Less than twenty-four hours after Dimock residents held a press
conference beneath a newly installed billboard that called attention to their
contaminated water wells, the billboard came down. It had displayed a
photograph of brownish water drawn from the well of Craig and Julie
Sautner, and listed some of the chemical contaminants it contained.

The billboard apparently rattled Cabot Oil and Gas, the company widely
assumed to be responsible for the water woes in Dimock. A lawyer
employed by Cabot videotaped residents as they spoke about living in
homes with contaminated wells, and a Cabot spokesperson, George Stark,
was on hand to call the billboard “a lie.” Mr. Stark disputed that the
discolored water came from the Sautner well, and claimed to be unaware
that tests conducted by Duke University and the Pennsylvania Department
of Environmental Protection found dozens of contaminants in the water.
These included acetone, aluminum, arsenic, barium, beryllium,
bromodichloromethane, butylbenzylphthalate, dibromochloromehtane,
ethane, lead, lithium, methane, nitrate, silicon, strontium, sulfate, thorium
228, thorium 230, uranium 234 and uranium 235/236.

At one point Mr. Stark stood in front of the cameras and claimed that the
Sautners water was no longer contaminated and boasted he’d drink a glass
of it himself. He has yet to keep that promise.

Last Saturday a local resident was killed when a car he and his daughter were in was crushed by a truck carrying fracking materials - driven by an out-of-state (and allegedly unlicensed) trucker. Earlier this week a pristine stream was contaminated with "drilling mud" - a slurry of water, bentonite, and assorted other chemicals specific to each mix. Everything is unfolding as it has been predicted by those who warned about this years ago. How much more has to happen before we decide we've had enough?

Fix it!

Not just the problem of contaminated well water in Dimock, but the whole damned problem of environmentally destructive gas extraction in Marcellus Shale territory!

A death in Marcellus Shale country

2011-08-03T22:49:00.005-04:00

We keep being told that natural gas extraction by hydrofracking can be done safely, responsibly, and without harming the environment. We keep being told that this can be done. So the question is, why isn't it being done?

We all knew this day was coming, what with the overweight trucks carrying loads of water and chemicals roaring all over the back roads and highways of Marcellus Shale country. We all knew that at some point, somehow, somebody from Northeastern Pennsylvania, some innocent bystander, was going to get killed as a consequence of the mostly-unregulated explosion of natural gas drilling operations in this area. And on July 31, 2011, it happened.

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The Chechen Strategy

2011-07-31T19:52:00.000-04:00

In May 2004 Akhmad Kadyrov, the Russian-supported President of Chechnya, was killed by Chechen rebels in a bomb explosion at a stadium during a parade. The bomb had actually been built into the structure of the stadium during earlier repairs. In a sense, the stadium itself had been turned into a weapon.

Now the United States finds itself locked in a deadly impasse as a simple procedural issue that has been performed dozens of times since its institution - raising the limit on the "debt ceiling" - has been turned into an artificial crisis, a hostage situation in which the financial future of the United States of America is being held at gunpoint by a coterie of Congressmen unwaveringly committed to an absolutist ideology.

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$15,600

2011-07-27T11:42:00.000-04:00

I was looking over a list of potential jobs yesterday and I saw one annual salary repeated over and over again: $15,600. $15,600, repeated over and over again, for jobs ranging from the most menial to a quality control inspector.

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This is a test

2011-07-26T21:34:00.001-04:00

This is a test.¹

1. If that test works, the "1" will be superscripted - and I will stop using *,**,***, etc. for footnotes.

Job hopping

2011-07-25T12:15:00.001-04:00

Throughout the course of my meetings with job advisers, résumé specialists, career counselors, and other professionals who are paid to help others find employment, I have learned that there is only one absolute that can be distilled from all their advice: One person's "never" is another person's "always" - and vice-versa.

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Norway

2011-07-22T22:20:00.002-04:00

The first blogger I ever read was from Norway. She was my window on that country, that culture. Most of my opinions of the place are based on things she wrote, things she told me in our online conversations, and on the opinions I formed of her. We haven't been in touch in several years, so I've also fallen out of touch with Norway.

Today's attacks in Oslo and on a youth camp are astonishing, horrifying, staggering. The notion that international terrorists may have fixed their sights on this beautiful, peaceful, and eminently civilized country is horrible to consider. The possibility that these may have been the acts of a lone homegrown madman is even more horrible.

Resources for bloggers

2011-07-21T18:30:00.005-04:00

I've received quite a few comments and questions on my post What I've learned so far: Advice for beginning bloggers - mainly because I planted a link to it in the comments section of the Blogger Buzz post "The best blogging advice you've ever received." One of these I haven't answered yet, and I'll attempt to do it here.

Have you ever seen local community colleges or places like that offer classes on blogging tools, etc.? Just curious.

Actually, I haven't, but this is probably because I haven't looked very much. Years ago I contemplated creating such a thing - I thought I wrote up an outline for it, and posted it as a blog post, back in 2006 or 2007 or so, but I can't find it anywhere. (Ten points to the house of anyone who finds it!) Not that even now do I think that I have the appropriate skills and knowledge to teach such a class. On the other hand, I know some people who have taught university classes with even less subject matter expertise, so who am I to say?

Still, there are resources online. I'm going to start off with just a few, but if I discover more, or if anyone would like to make suggestions, I intend to expand this list.

Blogger Buzz: The official buzz from Blogger at Google (http://buzz.blogger.com/) - An official blog from Blogger corporate which manages to be relevant and informative, with news about new and upcoming features and information about what's going on at Blogger. With links to other resources from Blogger: Blogger Status blog, Blogger in Draft blog, Known Issues, Help Forum, and Help Center .

The Real Blogger Status: What Blogger Won't Tell You (http://blogging.nitecruzr.net/) - An unofficial blog that tackles many of the issues being dealt with by users of Blogger, as well as advance warnings of upcoming changes. Tends to be a bit beyond the Blogging 101 level as it gets down to the roots of issues and what steps you as a blogger must take to resolve them.

ProBlogger (http://www.problogger.net/): This blog has been around for a while, but I only just learned about it recently. Its subtitle is "Blog Tips To Help You Make Money Blogging," and that's what it's about. I should probably go over it thoroughly. I'm currently bringing in five figures annually from the ads on my blog (six if you count the decimal point as a figure), and I'd be very interested in learning how to earn more.

Anybody have any more recommendations for resources for bloggers? Leave a comment and I'll incorporate them into the body of the post. Thanks!

Update, 7/21/2011:

I just did Google searches for "blogger resources" and "blogging 101." Each turned up a lot of responses. But some of the most detailed results were blog posts from long, long ago - 2010, or 2008, or even as far back as 2006. I realized that these posts were mostly pointing to individual tools, sites that were hip and hot and happening at that moment - many of which no longer exist. And a static post does not encompass advances since that post was written, unless the blogger has actively been updating it.

I did, however, find another blog that has been set up expressly as a resource for bloggers:

Learn Blogging & Social Media -- Blogging Basics 101

Unfortunately, this site disregards something I consider a blogging basic: it is not thoroughly indexed by date. You can see all of the posts that appear on the front page, or search posts by category, or work your way backward using the "Older Posts" button. But there's no easy way to see all the posts from, say, May 2007, or to find the earliest posts, or even to quickly scan through post titles. So, use at your own discretion.

7/22/2011: Here's a nice post about getting more traffic to your blog:

~How To Get Traffic, And Repeated Readers, To Your Blog - Blogger Help Group | Google Groups

This comes from the Blogger Help Group on Google Groups:

Blogger Help Group | Google Groups

...a truly useful resource which, of course, has this message on its front page:
Zipped versions of the pages and files associated with this group will be available for download until August 31, 2011. After this date, this feature and the zip file downloads will be turned off permanently.

Super. Well, may as well take advantage of this feature while it's still there:

Download pages | Download Files

This is a test

2011-07-17T23:59:00.001-04:00

Blogger is rolling out a new GUI, and it has...issues. The ones I spotted a week ago are unsurprisingly still there, but I figured I may as well start taking it out for shakedown cruises to see just how messed up things can get.

Let's see. One of my upcoming posts is going to be a new entry in The Stained Glass Project. Right off the bat I don't see an easy way to open my blog so I can turn the words "The Stained Glass Project" into a hyperlink to all the other entries bearing that label. Let's see what right-clicking on the name of my blog in the upper left does...

Nope, takes me to another page, but this one has a "View blog" button at the top. Why doesn't the Post Editor have one?

Hmmm: also, in "Compose" mode, I'm in a scroll box with about eight lines of text. Two-thirds of the screen is unused real estate. Why?

OK, just switched over to HTML mode. Full screen to play with. Now, let's see about that link to The Stained Glass Project.

OK, back to Compose mode. Trying to do a hypertext link in HTML gives me a "scripted window" popup warning.

Back to HTML. So the next window I'm going to post about features a guy named St. Maximian and yet another image of Mary, this one in the Immaculate Heart presentation. Here's a two-shot of the pair of windows, added through HTML mode:

Hmmm...still the ugly old interface they used when I first started. Back to Compose.

OK, more options here..was able to increase the image size from "Large" to "X-Large." Still, it's very annoying to be squeezed into a box that's so small.

Looking up St. Maximian through my Google toolbar - let's see how well it adds this...

St. Maximian - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online

OK, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V caused the screen to white out until I hit "Enter." Anyway, there's another St. Maximian - let's try adding him through the HTML editor:

St. Maximian of Constantinople - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online

Not much on this guy. The first one at least got hurled out of a tower. And look, there's a third Maximian:

St. Maximian of Ravenna - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online

That time there was no white screen after I hit Ctrl+V. Weird. Anyway, this guy was also a bishop, like the first one. Neither is listed as a doctor or prescriber of remedies, which may be significant, though the last one gets a mention of having built St. Vitalis Basilica. No, nothing there - though Vitalis and his wife were martyred by Marcus Aurelius, played by Richard Harris in the movie "Gladiator."

The GUI doesn't like ampersands, especially when I switch back and forth.

Well, so far, the most annoying thing is the eight-line-high text entry box. What gives? I have to wonder if that has something to do with me having my screen magnified when I first opened it.

Let's see if spell-check works...

Yep, that works. Hey, has this been autosaving as a draft? Only one way to find out, and I'm not gonna try. Saving...

Ummmm. Where's the "Post" button? That's a big oversight!

Ah. It's "Publish" - white text on a gray background. Yeah, very visible. Let's try "Preview" first...

OK, preview worked fine. I'll hit "Publish" and call it a night - after I apply some labels.

(It also doesn't have a "View Post" option after you publish, just "View Blog." "View Post" is useful when you're editing an older post and want to view it after you've edited it. Also, there's some ugliness in the post-publishing page, which I expect is because I'm working in IE8 rather than the next-generation IE interface.)

Pseudoscorpion on the ComposTumbler

2011-07-15T23:36:00.002-04:00

Today was a big gardening day. Lots of weeding, lots of stuff going into the compost. Before I got started on that, I decided to empty my thirteen-year-old ComposTumbler and use the finished compost to mulch my tomatoes.

I had to hack my way through a jungle of Rose of Sharon to get to the front access hatch of the tumbler, and then scooped out the contents using an old pot that was retired from service years ago. The compost had finished nicely: crumbly, fine-grained, smell-free, with only a few of the compost balls that tend to form from the tumbling action of the ComposTumbler. I left some of it in the tumbler, partly to serve as a starter for the next batch of compost, partly because it was too hard to reach in and scoop everything out.

I was in the process of refilling the tumbler with some freshly-picked weeds and a pail full of kitchen scraps when I noticed a tiny insect on the side of the ComposTumbler. It looked like just some garden-variety insect critter except for one thing: it had two extensions on the front that looked for all the world like the claws of a scorpion.

I looked closer, thankful that my bifocals allowed me to focus on tiny things at close range, and saw...that I was going to need to grab my camera.

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The Stained Glass Project: The cowardly dragon

2011-07-13T20:07:00.002-04:00

As a kid I always loved dinosaurs, monsters, dragons, all that stuff. That's something that didn't wear off as I got older.

Going to church at Our Lady of Czestochowa in Nanticoke was something like being inside of a storybook, with the figures on the stained-glass windows like huge, illuminated illustrations. One of my favorites has always been the rearmost pair of windows on the left side of the church, featuring St. Leo and St. George.

Now, everyone knows who St. George is: knight in shining armor, patron saint of England, fought a dragon. (In reality almost nothing is known about him for certain, but that's myth-making for you!) And it's obvious St. Leo is someone important, and from his pointy hat and walking stick he's probably a bishop. (Actually, the crozier he's holding is one that would be carried by the Pope at a specific time in history; he is in fact Pope Leo, as explained here.)

(...hmmm. Seems that what I'm saying right now isn't a sudden realization, but actually a thought I considered and discarded years ago. Anyhow...)

So, bottom line: there's no real reason for there to be a dragon in the window with St. Leo. He wasn't associated with one, or with anything resembling one, especially one that would be literally hiding behind his skirts. But St. George was. And he killed it, with the spear he's holding, which is noticeably free of dragon gore. So now I have decided, after all these years, that this pair of windows is truly a pair of windows, and the dragon hiding behind St. Leo is actually hiding from St. George!

This wouldn't be the only visual joke in these windows. I believe the rector of the church at the time of its construction, the man responsible for building the church and having the windows installed, is also depicted in another window purportedly of his namesake saint.

The Stained Glass Project: "When will you publish that book?"

2011-07-13T16:06:00.000-04:00

I was walking out of church this past Saturday, helping my mom down the steps, when a woman I didn't recognize said hello to her and then said to me, "So, when will you be publishing that book?"

The book she was referring to would be the collection of photos of the stained glass windows of the church we were walking out of - formerly Our Lady of Czestochowa, or more simply "St. Mary's," but now officially the Secondary Site for St. Faustina Parish.

It's been a long time since I started this project back in October of 2008 - and almost as long since I did the last real entry in the project in March 2009. In reality, this is the first photo of the project, taken October 4, 2008 as I waited for my cousin's wedding to begin:

Since then I think I've covered eight of the twelve pairs of windows, so the project is two-thirds done. I've also done posts on the stained glass windows in other churches in Nanticoke, some of which are now closed. The project was covered in an excellent newspaper article (in the Wilkes-Barre Citizens' Voice, written by Erin Moody) almost as soon as it was started, a full-page article that included several of my photos on half of the page.

If I had the resources I would do this properly, using a rig mounted in front of each window that could be used to photograph a small section of each window at a time - perhaps a square region as wide as each individual window, using a field flattener to avoid the unfortunate distortions that came from using a cheap little snapshot camera at ground level. I would want to take multiple images under different light conditions, too. A stained glass window is really a three-dimensional object, with striations of color and gradations of opacity inside the window itself that cause the image to change depending on the light intensity and the angle of incidence on the glass, presenting a different aspect of the window from minute to minute and day to day.

For now I will continue to work with the images I already have, most of which were taken in October of 2008. As for the book - well, I really have no plans for a paper book. (Though, believe me, I have thought of it: a book, a calendar, a coloring book for kids...) Such a thing might be very beautiful, if done properly, but might also be prohibitively expensive. When I have completed all the entries on these twelve windows, I will create a single post indexing them all and let people know about that. But a book? Maybe someday. Just not right now.

I'm still here

2011-07-08T21:44:00.003-04:00

I haven't felt too inspired to blog much lately. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been using my Blogging Energy Units.

Over on the Blogger Buzz blog there was a post called "The best blogging advice you’ve ever received." It includes a few bits of advice, but then opens the floor for submissions of advice that bloggers have received - or given. This meshed nicely with a post I wrote a few weeks ago, so I decided to do leave a comment with a link to it. As I had hoped, this resulted in a slight uptick in traffic, and a flurry of comments on that post. Some commentors asked for additional advice, or expansions of things I had mentioned in the post, so I have obliged - in some cases, with comments longer than many of my blog posts.
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The Dragon of Huangshan

2011-07-01T20:39:00.005-04:00

Earlier this week a friend on Facebook posted a link to a fascinating story about a mirage that formed over the river in the Chinese city of Huangshan (or "Huanshan," per the article):

Ghostly mirage appears over river in Huanshan City, China - (UK Daily Mail) Mail Online

Now, if this were true, it would be the most remarkable version of a Fata Morgana I had ever heard of. The Fata Morgana is a large-scale mirage that can cause distant landscapes to appear in a twisted, distorted manner, displayed above the horizon. It is rare and amazing, but not unknown. Still, for these buildings and trees to appear so clearly, so sharply, seemingly just a few hundred yards down the river...
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Reinventing yourself, every day

2011-06-29T20:34:00.003-04:00

A little over six months ago I lost my job, as did a more than a few of my co-workers. This was right before Christmas, so naturally getting things initialized with the state took a little bit of time. I was prepared for this.

Things got off to a slow start, but I've been through this once before, so I tried to hit the ground running. Knew which sites to delve into, which local government offices to get involved with. Heck, I even volunteered to run a blogsite based on the work that was being done by our transition team, made up of recently displaced workers acting in conjunction with the Pennsylvania CareerLink.

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The World of Wonders Sideshow at the Northeast Fair

2011-06-27T16:07:00.008-04:00

Six years ago I nearly got a chance to see a sideshow at the Bloomsburg Fair. It was the World of Wonders Sideshow, which I would later learn was the last of the great traveling carnival sideshows. I didn't get to see it - the outside talker, the legendary Ward Hall, went on and on, gathering an enormous crowd of onlookers, but it seemed like the show itself might never start, and my friends grew restless and decided to move on.

Last week I heard about the Northeast Fair coming to the area, setting up shop in an industrial park on the outskirts of Pittston, Pennsylvania. (Not far from one of the runways at the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton International Airport at Avoca - that must have been something to see on final approach!) I scoured the papers for any hint of a sideshow, but found nothing. Finally I checked out The World of Wonders Facebook page - and found that they had just set up shop in Pittston, less than twenty miles from my house!

That was, I think, last Wednesday, and I spent a good deal of time since then trying to find someone to go with me to the Northeast Fair. I was ultimately unsuccessful in my quest, but decided to head out there by myself on Sunday, the last day of the fair. Unencumbered by anyone else, I was able to move according to my own whims and stay as long as I wanted. Naturally I made a beeline for the sideshow - wherever it might be.

Almost as soon as I paid my money walked through the main gate I spotted swordswallower-turned-photographer Lady Diane and her husband. I could have stopped her and asked her for directions, but I decided to follow my nose and wander around the grounds a bit. I walked past the Bar-B-Q stand and the stage for Boffo, the World's Strongest Clown, past the Ferris Wheel and the Green Monster, an enormous slide. I picked my way along a side route and there, across from the petting zoo, next to the camel rides, was the World of Wonders banner line.

Tommy Breen is the Outside Talker (known to rubes by the Hollywood term "Barker") - but right now he's just talking to Scott Saturn and swordswallower-turned-photographer Lady Diane

I didn't know who was who or what was what at that point. I had expected my friend and fellow sideshow fan (and an actual scholar of the sideshow) Cris to be taking the tickets, but instead saw someone I didn't know (I would learn from living legend Harley Newman that this was Tommy Breen) in that spot. He wasn't doing any "Talking" at that moment - the pitch to the potential customers (affectionately referred to as "marks") trying to draw them into the sideshow tent is done by the "Outside Talker," known to those of us whose only familiarity with carnivals and sideshows came from TV and movies by the non-carnival term "barker" - but was instead talking to a person I would later learn was performer Scott Saturn and Lady Diane, a former swordswallower turned photographer who I had seen several times at the Sideshow Gathering. I took the opportunity to snap a few shots of the banner line.

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Notes for an interview

2011-06-23T12:40:00.003-04:00

Michelle D. and I were interviewed on ComputerWise TV last night. It's a local hour-long show about computers shown exclusively on Blue Ridge Communications TV and Service Electric Cable, and we were there to talk bout NEPA Blogs. Aside from nearly dying before we even got on the highway, everything went very smoothly. Michelle's GPS guided us to the secret hidden lair of Blue Ridge TV. Host George Roberts made us feel very much at ease, and I managed to not do anything devastatingly stupid, like tripping over a raised platform in a studio and nearly falling headfirst into the control board, until after we were off the air.

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What is a blog?

2011-06-18T21:00:00.003-04:00

In just a few days I'll be on a local TV show called ComputerWise TV with Michelle Hryvnak Davies. Together, we'll be discussing NEPA Blogs.

My strategy for this interview is simple: I plan on keeping my mouth shut unless absolutely necessary. In part this is because this is Michelle's show - it's through her efforts that we're going to be there at all, and I don't want to take anything away from her. I will respond to questions asked of me; otherwise I will let Michelle take the lead and allow her to throw to me whenever she feels the need. But in part it's also because I could probably respond to any question with a thirty-minute soliloquy, with footnotes and references and historical information stretching back to the journal-writers of the eighteenth century - and the show is only twenty-five minutes long. So I think it's in everyone's best interests if I keep my babble to a minimum.

Case in point: One of the questions we're sure to be asked is "What is a blog?"

Now, in the context of this program, one might be inclined to say "What the hell kinda question is that? Isn't this a show about computers an' stuff for people who know computers? Geez, don't all y'all already KNOW what a blog is?" But that would probably be the wrong approach to take.

The proper sort of TV answer would probably be something like:

"Well, that's a very good question. Originally the term was a contraction of 'web log' and referred to personal journals kept and shared online. But over the years the term has come to include online journals kept by companies and businesses, some of which are indistinguishable from what would otherwise be called 'websites.' For the most part, when we talk about blogs, we're talking about the personal journals, things maintained by individuals, or, in some cases, small groups of people. They don't have to be 'personal' in nature, though - some of the most popular blogs out there are about politics, sports, or other topics that interest the bloggers and their readers."

OK, you see what I did there? Already I've gone off the rails. And I could easily keep going. It's a simple question without a simple answer.

Blogs started...well, I don't know exactly. I suppose I could look up what Wikipedia has to say, and assume that that information is accurate. Let's say they started a long time ago, back in the mid-1990's, when the Internet was a wild and primitive place. Blogging was not for the faint of heart back then; most of the blogging platforms we take for granted these days had not been conceived of yet, and if you were a blogger you were probably also doing more than a little coding to make your blog function. Some of those first bloggers are still blogging; others have quit blogging entirely, and have renounced their blogging past.

Way back around the turn of the century - 2003, to be exact - Jill Walker wrote up a definition of the term "blog" for the Routledge Encyclopedia of Narrative Theory. The full, final definition, as well as a previous definition which was proposed and then revised, appears here. It begins like this:

A weblog, or *blog, is a frequently updated website consisting of dated entries arranged in reverse chronological order so the most recent post appears first (see temporal ordering). Typically, weblogs are published by individuals and their style is personal and informal. Weblogs first appeared in the mid-1990s, becoming popular as simple and free publishing tools became available towards the turn of the century. Since anybody with a net connection can publish their own weblog, there is great variety in the quality, content, and ambition of weblogs, and a weblog may have anywhere from a handful to tens of thousands of daily readers.

At the beginning of this year The Regator Blog ("A blog about blogs and other stuff") published a list of their choices for the Top 50 Blogs of 2010. I was somewhat surprised that I had only heard of a handful of them, but I was more surprised when I started to look into the sites that they listed. This led me to post this comment:

Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned, having been reading blogs since 2001 or so and blogging myself since 2004, but it seems like many of these are more like corporate websites than anything I would think of as a "blog." It may be a bit snobbish to look upon a blog as an individual, personal edeavor (sic), but to me, as a rule, if it has a staff it really isn't a blog. Still, it will be good to go through the 47 sites on this list that aren't regular reads for me and see what I'm missing!

To which I received this thoughtful reply from the blogger - or, at least, one of the Regator bloggers:

Hi D.B., Thanks for your comments. I hope you find some good reading on this list. The definition of a blog is a nebulous thing these days, and though we see blogs differently (I definitely don't think having a staff disqualifies a site from being a blog), your comment did make me think that perhaps a list of the top single-author blogs might be interesting for many. I may work on that down the line. Thanks for reading.

(In fact, Regator had just published a post about the evolving state of weblogs two weeks earlier:

Why Blogs (Still) Aren't Dead…No Matter What You've Heard — Regator Blog )

I remember when Anderson Cooper started a blog. This was so cool, and technically the first "celebrity" blog I had ever read. (I can't recall if he was still with ABC then, or if he had already made the move to CNN.) His first post was a metapost of sorts, talking about what it felt like to just be getting into blogging and setting the scene for where he was blogging from - I think he was actually on the set of his news show at the time, writing between segments. But it quickly became obvious that his "blog" was for the most part an extension of and advertisement for his current news program.

Paul Krugman is a Nobel Prize-winning economist. He is a professor at Princeton (or, more specifically, professor of Economics and International Affairs at the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University) and a columnist for the New York Times. He maintains a blog called The Conscience of a Liberal where he sometimes expands on ideas he has brought up in his New York Times column, or responds to responses to his statements made by other economists or pundits, or even occasionally posts class notes for his students; but he is just as likely to throw up political commentary salted with Monty Python or South Park references, or pictures of the meal he's eating while traveling abroad, or even just his favorite videos by The Arcade Fire, because, dammit, it's his blog, and he can do whatever he damned well pleases with it.

On the other hand, there are personal blogs out there which contain zero personal content. Tumblr is a great platform for this. While some blogs using the Tumblr platform are indistinguishable from any of the blogs I've already mentioned, others are unique outgrowths of Tumblr's "microblogging" structure: they are frenetic agglomerations of pictures, quotes, and videoclips, all reposted from someone or somewhere else. Items are posted and quickly forgotten, to be buried under the crushing weight of new posts like (but completely unlike) Twitter status updates getting buried by new tweets. If a Tumblr blogger posts dozens of pictures each day of anime characters engaged sexually with each other - well, I guess, in a sense, that does tell you something about the blogger.

Some things just seem to not fit any reasonable definition of a blog. Is The Big Picture a blog? It's certainly an interesting and worthwhile site maintained by the Boston Globe, featuring amazing photographs. But is it really eligible to be counted among TIME magazine's "Best Blogs of 2011"? Somehow that feels like having an Apache helicopter declared the winner of the Boston Marathon. (It does, however, define itself as "a photo blog created by a select group of picture editors of The Boston Globe," so I guess that's good enough for me.) And, as with the Regator list, I had not actually heard of most of the other blogs on TIME's list, causing me to wonder which among them are actually blogs and which are, well, websites run by powerful corporations or media groups.

So. What is a blog? "Well, that's a very good question. I'll try to be brief with my answer..."

Other answers to this question:

Blog - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Introduction to Blogging « WordPress Codex

Blogger: Tour - What's a blog?

What is Blog

What Is Blogging All About?

Blogbasics.com: What is a blog?

YouTube - Blogs in Plain English (video)

What I've learned so far: Advice for beginning bloggers

2011-06-12T22:52:00.002-04:00

I've been blogging for more than seven years now. My blog isn't exactly wildly popular, as far as blogs go. In fact, much of my traffic comes from Google searches by people looking for an explanation for the headless rabbit they just found in their yard, or wondering what ever became of the "That's All!" girl from Hee Haw. But over the years I have made some observations about blogging: what works, what doesn't work, what blogs are popular and why, and things like that. Yesterday I presumed to write these out in an email to someone who is just starting out as a blogger. As the list grew, I realized I was writing something that could serve as a post on my own blog. So, with a little editing and reformatting and a few added bits, here it is.

Click here to continue reading this post...

The Scraper's Thesaurus

2011-06-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

I just got a link to an article about Governor Christie's plans for rolling back renewable energy targets in New Jersey. Sort of. Here's the actual text from the first few paragraphs of the linked article.

Christie rolls out appetite plan, rolls behind renewable appetite goals

TRENTON – Gov. Christie οn Tuesday summarized a thουght fοr Nеw Sweater’s appetite probability wіth thе goal οf focuses οn nuclear, healthy gas, аnԁ blurb solar power, аnԁ retreats frοm desirous renewable appetite goals.

Thе director introduced a lingering-awaited appetite master credentials аt a scuttle-butt discussion some-more thаn a time аftеr hіѕ administration accepted іt wουƖԁ correct thе request civic next thе before administration tο simulate thе mercantile downturn.

Thе recover follows thе administrator’s argumentative proclamation final week tο change Nеw Sweater out οf a multistate cap-аnԁ-trade agreement fοr conservatory gas emissions, a pivotal раrt οf Gov. Jon S. Corzine’s appetite preparation.

Sοmе environmental advocates accepted thе preparation, entrance ѕο shortly аftеr thе withdrawal frοm thе Regional Conservatory Gas Initiative (RGGI), wουƖԁ drop thе disorder’s care οn immature energy, bυt a cover οf commerce asker called іt business-friendly.

Thе Board οf Public Utilities wіƖƖ reason hearings over thе summer οn thе preparation.

Ummm...what?

The "New Sweater" thing threw me for a loop. What the hell was this about? Was that a nickname for something? Then I realized: that had to be a mangling of "New Jersey," if you accept that "sweater" = "jersey."

Scrapers are plagiarists; they exist by copying content from others. Sometimes they try to cover their tracks by altering the language of the copied text slightly. How? My guess is that they run it through a translator into another language, and then translate it back into English, and let the translation hijinks cover their tracks for them.

For reference, here are the corresponding paragraphs as they appeared in the original article in the Philadelphia Enquirer:

Christie rolls out energy plan, rolls back renewable energy goals

June 08, 2011
By Maya Rao, Inquirer Trenton Bureau

Gov. Christie on Tuesday outlined a vision for New Jersey's energy future that focuses on nuclear, natural gas, and commercial solar power, and retreats from ambitious renewable energy goals.

The governor introduced a long-awaited energy master plan at a news conference more than a year after his administration said it would revise the document developed under the previous administration to reflect the economic downturn.

The release follows the governor's controversial announcement last week to pull New Jersey out of a multistate cap-and-trade agreement for greenhouse gas emissions, a key part of Gov. Jon S. Corzine's energy plan.

Some environmental advocates said the plan, coming so soon after the withdrawal from the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative (RGGI), would damage the state's leadership on green energy, but a chamber of commerce lobbyist called it business-friendly.

The Board of Public Utilities will hold hearings over the summer on the plan.

TITLE REFERENCE: The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

Is it safe to upload your information to job sites?

2011-06-10T23:06:00.000-04:00

I'm tyring to remember the exact sequence of events by which I got a Gmail account. I received an invitation from a friend back in the early days when you needed such a thing, but I never took advantage of it. About five or six years ago I decided I wanted to track the Google rank of my site, so that required me to get a Google password. Sometime later Blogger underwent a revision that required users to get a Google login. I think by that point I had already established my Gmail account, but if I had not, that was when I did it.

I took the advice of someone I had once worked with. She was somewhat aghast when I told her my personal email address, and said I really needed to change it to something more professional - preferably my name. I didn't want to part with my established address, but when I set up a Gmail account I decided to use the closest variation of my name that I could. I also decided that this email address would be used strictly for professional contacts with people who knew or should know my name.

In 2007 I found myself looking for a job, and I set up accounts on CareerBuilder and Monster.com. Both seemed pretty straightforward: upload some information, input a little more information, skip over the screen that's asking me to re-upload my personal information so they could sell me something, press the button, and let the job offers roll in.

Job offers started to roll in. But not the ones I wanted.

The jobs were weird. Represent some foreign company reselling their product in the U.S.; oh, you were a "DVD Asset Manager"? How would you like to be a property manager at an apartment complex? Clear blocked toilets, change locks, fix holes in walls... I started to get the feeling that these job offers were scams, and maybe the sites I had signed up with were part of the scam.

Later I received a call from another group that claimed they had gotten my résumé online. It's a group that you've heard of, one that sells financial planning services, and is a division of a large multinational bank. I attended their meeting, which was part tent revival, part Nuremberg rally, and part cult gathering. The group turned out to be a multi-level marketing deal in which your income would be based on financial services you sell, plus a cut of the sales made by people you recruit, plus a cut of the sales of the people they recruit...but that's another story.

Eventually I went back to work for the company for which I had been working, in a non-salary production line job with a 1/3 pay cut. I jumped at it.

Now I find myself looking again. I'm still signed up with CareerBuilder and Monster.com, plus the Pennsylvania CareerLink. I've also signed up with LinkedIn, and a local job services company, and a company specializing in science-related jobs. (Because, you know, technically I do have a degree in Physics.) In each case I've uploaded my résumé and a buttload of other personal information.

The other day, out of the blue, I received this at my personal email address:

NaturalIndustryJobs.com Career Opportunities Update

Published Weekly, Wednesday, June 8, 2011

New Job Seekers Are Signing Up Each Day. Got A Job? Post It!

Employers: Post A Free Profile & Post Your Job. Only $50/month.This Newsletter is received over 15,000 people. Jobs are posted on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn as well.

Jobseekers: Upload Your Resume, It's Free

And, like Arsenio Hall used to say, this was one of those things that make you go "Hmm..." Who are these people? How did they get my e-mail address? How did they know I was looking for work? Did I really want to send my name, address, phone number, and detailed work and school history to a company about which I knew nothing?

For that matter, what did I know about any of the other companies to whom I have given my information? Other than the fact that I have had to set up special folders for all the spam coming from my CareerBuilder and Monster.com accounts, so my Gmail inbox wouldn't be continuously overflowing? I mean, identity theft used to be a difficult proposition: used to be thieves would actually have to steal this information, rather than just have people hand it to them.

How safe are these companies? Maybe companies like CareerBuilder and Monster and LinkedIn can be trusted with your information - but what what if the companies are sold? Personal data is a valuable resource, and someone might be willing to pay large amounts of money for the stockpiles of data these companies have. And if the companies are sold, would any restrictions exist on how the accumulated personal data might be used?

All that is secondary, though. Right now my primary concern is with getting a job - a job that pays more than I'm currently making in unemployment. Maybe that's worth taking a risk that my entire work history, along with personal information, will fall into the wrong hands.

All according to plan

2011-06-04T23:14:00.000-04:00

Back during the 2008 Democratic primaries, when the race had come down to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, a bit of right-wing common wisdom started wafting around the Internet that went something like: "I feel sorry for whoever wins the Democratic primary. If it's Obama, and he wins the election, we'll never have another black President; if it's Hillary, and she wins, we'll never have another female President." The thinking was that the state of the U.S. economy, and the collapse of economies around the globe, and the burden of fighting multiple wars, and the general contempt in which the U.S. was held worldwide, would all prove to be too much for any President to resolve in a single term, and whoever got the job would be doomed to failure and would be, at best, a one-term President, with the Presidency passing back into Republican hands in 2012 as the Democratic leadership took the fall for failing to unmake the mess that they were bequeathed in 2008.*

I countered that, if this line of reasoning were to be followed through to its logical conclusion, then we would never again see a white male Protestant in the White House, either, considering their cumulative track record that had brought us to this point. At best we could hope that some sort of pantheistic multiracial hermaphrodite might come along to take the reins of power.

We knew - everyone knew - back then that unscrewing this pooch was going to be an immensely difficult task. It was going to take lots of hard work, lots of skillful guidance, lots of butt-clenchingly terrifying decisions, and lots of cooperation between everyone involved - a willingness to set aside politics and partisanship so that everyone could work together for the common good and set the ship of state aright.

That didn't happen.

In the earliest days of the Obama administration, the leadership of the Republican party set out a strategy that was verbalized by Rush Limbaugh when he was asked what his hopes were for the new President. His reply was simply, "I hope he fails." And from that point on, it was clear that Republicans in Congress were less interested in setting the ship of state aright or achieving the common good and more interested in thwarting Barack Obama's plans at every turn.

But why would any Republican want to see the economy recover as long as Barack Obama is in the White House? Such a thing would be seen as a policy victory for the Obama administration, and would serve to benefit Democrats politically. Such a thing could not be allowed.

The Republicans couldn't accomplish their goals alone, of course. They were in the minority in both houses of Congress, and only held sway in a Supreme Court packed with right-wing activist ideologues appointed by George W. Bush and his Republican predecessors. But many Democrats in Congress held their seats by only the slimmest of margins in districts that leaned far more to the right than to the center, and their support for Barack Obama's plans was tepid and timid at best; in the worst cases they took an antagonistic attitude toward the goals of the President, and joined forces with Republicans in tyring to bring about his failure. Thus we saw a stimulus package that was, in the assessment of Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman, far too small to be effective, but as large as could be achieved through concessions and compromise. (Ironically, many of these Republicanish Democrats were rewarded for their efforts with election defeats in 2010, and they were replaced by the Republicans they had strived to emulate.)

Now we find ourselves two and a half years into Barack Obama's term as President, and we see that in those two and a half years he has not yet managed to undo all the damage done by the Bush/Cheney administration in its eight years in office. He saved the auto industry and received enormous scorn in return; he prevented Wall Street from self-destruction and has had hatred heaped upon him by the very Wall Street figures he rescued. He has been blocked and thwarted at every turn by corporate-owned Republicans, who have constantly tried to lay the blame for the economic downturn at his feet. And now that the race for the Republican primaries has begun, candidates are counting on Republican voters to have simply forgotten how we got here in the first place and accept the alternative history that this is all the fault of Obama and the Democrats.

The failure of the economy to recover is not the result of a failure on President Obama's part. It is not a failure of the Democrats who are fighting hard for economic recovery. The failure is the responsibility of those who have placed politics and partisanship over the well-being of the people of the United States of America. The people whose only hope for President Obama is "I hope he fails."

All according to plan.

*Of course, if by some preposterous chance the McCain/Palin ticket had won the race, the only hope they might have of escaping the same fate would be to immediately launch more discretionary wars to distract the nation from its domestic concerns. Can you sing "Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb-Iran..."?

More, after the break

2011-05-31T22:21:00.004-04:00

I'm experimenting with a new (well, new-to-me) feature on Blogger: the jump break. People who are just casually glancing at one of my posts might think "Gosh, he's being unusually short-winded," but I assure you this is nothing of the sort.

All shall be explained...

...after the break.
Click here to continue reading this post...

Royal Highness, first flush 2011

2011-05-31T21:19:00.001-04:00

My Royal Highness rosebush has been going through its first flush of roses this past week.

Royal Highness (main bush), May 29, 2011

Click here to continue reading this post...

Another Monkey

Against the Dying of the Light

Pecha Kucha Scranton is tomorrow!

250,000

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011 movie)

Salem, ten years later

Pecha Kucha Scranton

Do you have a blog card?

Have your old posts been Drafted by Blogger?

Blog Fest is coming!

The relentless march of fracking

NEPA Blogs: 2011 in review

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the book) - a mini-review

I'm still blogging (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Myths of unemployment and the economy

Trapped

Who is to blame for the state of the economy?

Do you have a blog? Why Facebook may not be enough

About

Holiday Reruns: The Littlest Turkey!

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 3

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 2

The Sideshow Gathering 2011, Day 1

Blogger meet-up November 6

Halloween Tally 2011

October Surprise 2011

2011 visitor's guide for people attending the Sideshow Gathering

The Sideshow Gathering 2011 is coming!

FRANCO KOSSA’S LEGACY CARRIED FORWARD BY ENTERTAINERS

This is disconcerting

OCCUPY NANTICOKE, OCCUPY NEPA

Where I've been

Pages and Places Book Festival, Part 1: Workshops

Thugs to bloggers: "Watch what you say online!"

DO NOT DELETE YOUR BLOG

Lil (a fairy tale rewrite)

Paul Krugman finally noticed!

Blogfest 2011 - Fall edition!

Sitting around the table...

Are river crests getting higher?

Ten years after

The water this time

Lessons we learned from the storm

333333

The stages of looking for a new job, salary-wise

Another test post

Irene, Goodnight

Repainting Three-O-Nina

Updates...

Three-O-Nina getting repainted TOMORROW!

Help Support theNortheastern Pennsylvania CouncilBoy Scouts of America

byPainting the Cow on Route 309our "Beautify the Bovine Project"

Saturday August 20, 2011 - 10:00am to 5:00pm

Machine of Death: ABANDONED IN SPACE

Machine of Death: DUCK (the annotated version)

Machine of Death: DUCK

In the time without bats

Victims, aren't we all?

Nagasaki Day

FIX IT! Contaminated well water in Dimock

A death in Marcellus Shale country

The Chechen Strategy

$15,600

This is a test

Job hopping

Norway

Resources for bloggers

This is a test

Pseudoscorpion on the ComposTumbler

The Stained Glass Project: The cowardly dragon

The Stained Glass Project: "When will you publish that book?"

I'm still here

The Dragon of Huangshan

Reinventing yourself, every day

The World of Wonders Sideshow at the Northeast Fair

Notes for an interview

What is a blog?

What I've learned so far: Advice for beginning bloggers

The Scraper's Thesaurus

Is it safe to upload your information to job sites?

Help Support the
Northeastern Pennsylvania Council
Boy Scouts of America

by
Painting the Cow on Route 309
our "Beautify the Bovine Project"